I'm so poor that...

I can’t even afford to rent dirt.

I had to scrimp and save to get two pennies to rub together. I sold the shavings at a recycling place.

Personally, I lease my dirt. Only $150 a month (plus the $6k deposit (but that doesn’t count)).

I grew up so poor that when I was little I used to try to get abducted just so I’d get some candy.

Panhandlers give me money.

Dirt? I can’t afford the to rent the empty hole the dirt came from!

& we were lucky to have that!

I’m so poor that I can’t even pay attention.

(this is an old one my grandmother used to say)

…I haven’t got a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out of.

I always got clothes and something to play with for Christmas when I was growing up. One year was so bad, all I got was a pair of pants with holes in the pockets.

I charge my own kids rent on their rooms.

…if they were selling mules for a nickle, all I could afford to do would be jump up and down hollering “Ain’t that cheap!”

…I eat Bottom Ramen.

I don’t even eat it, I can only smell the one bowlful I have. The good thing is, the smell changes every couple of days. It’s like a new bowl!

All my garbage is plastic because I can’t afford the real stuff.

I actually had that happen once.

I have to rent myself out as a diialysis machine – kidney patients run their blood through me for a cleanup.

All my parents could afford were the holes.

At least you got more than one.

I got hand me down holes…with holes in them.

I can’t afford to renovate the cardboard box I live in.