I'm Sorry, I can't hear you. I have a spider in my ear


There are cringe-inducing pictures


Following the links, we have this less cringe-worthy news item:

Yes, of course he wasn’t. I often hang curtains while nude, myself. It gives the neighbors something to talk about.

Soooo, did the medical staff ASK him how he ended up with a potato up his butt, or did he feel it was necessary to explain that he wasn’t playing a sex game on his own initiative?

I’ve never hung curtains while nude.

Aw c’mon, Lynn. It’s like picking your nose or using a potato as a sex toy. We all do it. We just don’t want to admit it.
TIP: If you ever get a bug in your ear, flood the ear canal with baby oil. You’ll be grateful for this tip if you ever need it.

Aw… It’s a cute li’l jumping spider! :slight_smile:


This made me dry heave.

Especially comforting is the fact that I found a small spider on my bed when I woke up the other day. Definitely small enough for the ear canal or any canal for that matter.

This is actually a great fear of mine, a bug crawling into an orifice. Although previously it had been a fear of a bee getting in my ear. Why? I don’t know because I fucking hate bees. Fuck bees.

Yes. If it wasn’t inside an ear canal it could easily be featured as “creepicute” on The Daily Squee section of I Can Haz Cheezburger dot com.
Context is Everything

What if, say, you were hanging some curtains in the nude (as its a nice day). While doing so, in the general proximity of some Idaho Russets, you stumble and manage to lodge a tuber in your bum. Unbeknownst to you, there is a large worm inside the potato, wriggling his merry way to freedom.

What do you do? What do you do?

The potato of choice in that situation is the fingerling.

There’s already a procedure for dealing with this. You introduce (in this order): A bird, a cat, a dog, a goat, a cow and a horse. If you survive the horse, the chances of remission are small.

Why would a spider bite the inside of someone’s ear?

Die without seeking medical attention!

To catch the fly.

Because they’re the evilest fucking satanspawn on the planet.

Seriously…after looking at those pictures, if that happened to me, the only reasonable way to get rid of that thing would be via shotgun blast.

Eww, I would go nuts knowing I had a spider in my ear. Look at those pictures!

I think this is a situation where the doctors should just tell the patient “You had something in your ear, but we got it out no problem, so you should be OK now”, without being specific about just what the something was.

Spidey just wanted to feast on a few ear mites and keep the roaches out. Cute liddle fuzzy forward-facing jumpy spider!!!

No, the proper response is to say “We took it out of your other ear. It was a female. And they lay eggs.”
And then enjoy the hysterics.

(Proper thanks to Rod Serling for writing “The Caterpillar” screenplay for Night Gallery, and to Oscar Cook for writing the original story

Answer: First of all, I would not hang curtains naked, that’s ridiculous. BUT if it did happen I would vomit and poo myself until I’m a puddle of goo on the floor and then hopefully be found by some EMTs who will then do what they do.

My Privates’ Own Idaho?