The head to my electric toothbrush, the Crest Spin-Brush Pro Whitening, was starting to wear down a bit so I decide to hit the local Wal-Mart and pick up some replacement heads. I searched through the dental aisle for twenty minutes looking for the replacement heads but found nothing. Oh well, I guess I just have to buy a replacement toothbrush. The thing was only like $5 anyway so I start looking for a new one. I was particularly fond of this brush (hence why I chose it the first time). It was cheap, but not crappy looking. So, after pushing aside boxes for SoniCare and Oral-B and Sponge-Bob electrip brushes, I finally manage to find a single remaining Spin-Brush. As far as I’m concerned, my day is complete. I gather some other minor things before heading to the checkout line. There wasn’t a long wait, which was good. I put my items on the conveyer belt and pull out my wallet in preparation to pay. The cashier stops at the toothbrush.
beep
[puzzled stare from cashier]
beep
…
“I can’t sell this to you.”
Oh for the love of Og, it’s a toothbrush.
“It might explode in your mouth and knock out all of your teeth and give you cancer.” (he really did say something like this, at least he was being jovial)
Sort of . . .
Back about 1980 I read about a new prescription medication called ibuprofen that supposedly worked wonders with menstrual cramps. The first doctor I went to had never heard of it and wouldn’t prescribe it. The second doctor I went to hadn’t heard of it, but did some research and agreed to prescribe it to me. When I took the prescription to a pharmacy, the pharmacist told me that ibuprofin caused liver cancer and I shouldn’t take it. Well, since danger is my middle name, I took it anyway.
I sometimes wonder if that pharmacist remembers our encounter as he rings up bottle after bottle of 500-count over-the-counter Advil geltabs.
P.S. Great setup in the O.P.
I remember when L-Tryptophan was all the rage as a sleep inducing agent. Sure, you can get it from eating turkey or drinking milk, but these tablets were the bomb. Until they discovered that the factory responsible for supplying the whole world with the pills was somehow tainted, and the pills were recalled. Every time I have a muscle pain or a headache, I blame it on the L-Tryptophan.
BTW, I like to use sticks and twigs for cleaning my teeth. I learned that on Survivor. The trick is to know which sticks and twigs are carcinogenic, and then just not use those ones. Also, don’t use them if they might explode in your mouth.
One of the many who took Vioxx - and then switched to Celebrex once they took Vioxx off the market. Of course, the hydroxychloroquine that caused an allergic reaction and scarring in my eyes wasn’t that peachy either.
I hope you didn’t throw your old brush away, I noticed in your link that you can take it back and get a refund. So pack up that old toothbrush with the wiggly brush-head and old toothpaste remains and get your money back!
It may even prove for another interesting story.
I wanna return this used toothbrush and get my money back, it’s been recalled.
Uh, what? Are you serious.
Do I look serious? That thing could have broke and knocked out all my teeth! Now give me back my five bucks before I use it to knock out your teeth!
Well… maybe not, but at least the cashier had a sense of humor at the time of purchase.
Nice pun. I expect you want me to lather you in praise, but you’ve got another thing coming. I’m practically foaming at the mouth here waiting to unleash some hardcore puns, but the subject is so vague, there’s not a lot for me to sink my teeth into. I guess I could squeeze a few out, but there is a cap to the amount of puns you get out of one action. A mere mortal would quiver at the thought, but rest assured, I can handle the challenge.
So pack up that old toothbrush with the wiggly brush-head and old toothpaste remains and get your money back!