I'm studying your planet. How long to watch ALL your video?

Factual Questions
1

I might as well come clean: I’m an immortal, omnipotent alien trying to decide whether to exterminate your race. (Sorry! :()

I’ve decided the best way to make my judgement would be to watch ALL your films, videos, commercials, TV shows and porno: basically, every moving image that’s ever been released on Earth for any form of public consumption. (I’ll pick up those live TV broadcasts that weren’t saved on tape from a listening station about 80 light-years out in space—I don’t want to miss anything.)

So, how long do you think it’ll take me? I have forever, but I’m just curious. 10 years? 100? 1000? A million? Assuming I don’t like what I see, will I be done in time to vaporize y’all before your planet is extinguished by natural causes?

Before any wiseguy points out that you’ll keep making more while I’m watching, I’ll limit my interstellar video night to stuff that came out on or before May 5, 2010.

So, whaddaya think? Does Earth have anything to worry about?

2

well according to this, just on youtube, in May 2009 20 hours of video was uploaded every minute.

That gives in the last year at a constant 20 hours per minute 10,500,000 hours of video on youtube alone. Lets say allowing for uploads before then and an increase since then that the total is 21 million hours of video on youtube now.

Thats 2400 years just for youtube to watch it all…

figuring out the total hours of broadcast, videos, dvd’s… someone else can do that part.

3

I wouldn’t worry. Watching all of YouTube alone should take quite a long time. The highest number of videos cited was over 120,000,000, but that’s off Yahoo Answers(talk about Truth In Advertising) Assuming all of those videos are 10 minutes long, it’ll take approximately 2,283 years to watch it all. Plus with more added every day I think it could go on forever.

And YouTube is a drop in the bucket compared to the ocean of porn out there.

Damn too slow!

4

If you were omnipotent, you wouldn’t have to watch them in a linear fashion, would you?

5

If you’re omnipotent, you wouldn’t have to watch them at all - just rearrange matters so that you have already watched them all.

6

Well, a rapid search of the IMDb for “any movie or TV movie” from 1900 to May 5, 2010 returns 308.000 results. At 90 minutes per flick, that’s already close to 500.000 hours of film, or 53 years.The same search, but for “any TV series episode” returns 886.000 results. Let’s give each episode 25 minutes, that’s another 42 years’ worth of watching. Wait ! There’s also documentaries, all 95.000 of them. Another 16 years.

So. We’re already clocking at 111 years of continued existence, and we’ve not yet added the massive, massive amount of porn (both professional and homemade), TV game shows, advertizing and of course, the motherlode : YouTube videos involving cats. I’ll let someone else do the math on those, but for now I think humanity’s relatively safe from you :slight_smile:

7

How much porn would they need to watch tho’, before they got the general idea? And you’d only need to watch one episode of CSI, for example, and fast forward the rest.

8

As has already been mentioned, you’re omnipotent: You don’t need to watch them. And you’d already know that, too.

9

So, you don’t think omnipotent beings would like to be surprised once in a while?

In fact, thinking about it, if you started out omnipotent, what would be the point of willing anything into existence? You’d already know exactly how it was going to play out. What would be the value of that to an omnipotent being?

10

Also, why would an omnipotent being, having access to all the porn ever made, and porn from every planet with 2 sexes, even bother with destroying planets?

11

Are you including David Lynch’s stuff?

12

Maybe he’s a traditionalist.

13

I’m going to fall back on “why not?”

At least he apologized, that’s more than I can say for some planet destroying Vogons I could name.

14

Or more to the point, Andy Warhol’s?: Empire (1965 film) - Wikipedia

15

Are you insinuating that pornography involving asexual organisms isn’t stimulating?

16

Yeah, because we all know that everyone stops watching porn and CSI once they get the general idea. :slight_smile:

17

Edit: nevermind, should read the whole OP next time.

18

And don’t forget all the other countries… I’m sure he’ll enjoy the Thailand music videos.

19

All our video are belong to you?

20

Let’s not forget the 24 hour news channels, ESPN (you’ve got over 30000 hours of Sportscenter alone), morning and nightly news (from every single local channel) and all those commercials. I bet that would make up the bulk.