I'm studying your planet. How long to watch ALL your video?

[Elendil_s_Heir]

So it looks like I can go ahead and plan that August vacation after all…

[Speak_to_me_Maddie]

Omnipotence and omniscience are not the same thing, though one could argue that being one is impossible without the other. So, theoretically it is possible to be omnipotent and not know everything. Maybe.

A lot of the stuff on Youtube is duplicate. Don’t forget all the surveillance recordings from around the world.

[Chronos]

A lot of the stuff on Youtube is duplicate.

This is what I was going to ask about. If you’ve already watched a movie, do you have to watch all ten million YouTube videos of peoples’ favorite scenes from that movie? What about clip excerpts, like a trailer? Does that count as different? Or something like the Phantom Edit, where every scene is from the original movie, but they’re re-ordered in such a way as to change the story?

[ChrisBooth12]

Not to mention baseball games it will be never ending. Is it even possible to watch EVERY baseball game?

[campp]

I fail to see how you will have a complete picture… Unless you also listen to our entire sound recording output. It will help tie things together for you. Probably a few more centuries, rough guess.

[The_Seventh_Deadly_Finn]

@Chronos

This is what I was going to ask about. If you’ve already watched a movie, do you have to watch all ten million YouTube videos of peoples’ favorite scenes from that movie? What about clip excerpts, like a trailer? Does that count as different? Or something like the Phantom Edit, where every scene is from the original movie, but they’re re-ordered in such a way as to change the story?

In my opinion, I won’t need to re-watch the 10-min-at-a-time YouTube versions of “That 70s show,” etc. Similarly, I wouldn’t need to watch the VHS, DVD, Blu-Ray, Betamax, H264, and LaserDisc versions of, say, The Godfather; one viewing of that title would be sufficient.

To be honest, even for an omnipotent (okay, near-omnipotent; I should have known not to bullshit the bullshitters) immortal, the prospect of watching all of YouTube was a little daunting, and I was kind of hoping to bag it.

I was originally going to say “everything that was released commercially,” till I realized that would exclude PBS, government training films, PSAs and the like (hey, I never claimed to be omniscient). I changed it to “for public consumption,” but I forgot YouTube is technically public.

Let’s define it as all professionally-produced moving images. This excludes home movies, and amateur YouTube stuff. Webisodes and online indie films still count, though.

[Autolycus]

The fifth element is love.

[AClockworkMelon]

@Autolycus

The fifth element is love.

The Fifth Element is life, actually.

[Measure_for_Measure]

In 2002, 123 million hours of TV was broadcast, most of it reruns. Total original broadcasts in 2002 amounted to 31 million hours. Cite. That’s over 3500 years of original content broadcast in 2002.

Multiply that by 20 (conservatively) and we get 70,000 years. For an upper bound estimate, multiply by 60: 420,000 years. My WAG: 100,000-400,000 years.

[The_Seventh_Deadly_Finn]

@Measure_for_Measure

In 2002, 123 million hours of TV was broadcast, most of it reruns. Total original broadcasts in 2002 amounted to 31 million hours. Cite. That’s over 3500 years of original content broadcast in 2002.

Multiply that by 20 (conservatively) and we get 70,000 years. For an upper bound estimate, multiply by 60: 420,000 years. My WAG: 100,000-400,000 years.

F***in’ SDMB to the rescue! Nice work; I never thought I’d actually see a cite for this. (Way to live up to your dopername, too.)

Now, the bad news: you all may well (depending on my mood) have less than 400,000 years to live. Please take advantage of this brief time to make your final arrangements, mend fences with loved ones, etc.

I’ll let you know what I decide in this thread as soon as I’m done. BTW: Does anyone know, offhand, your planet’s total annual production of popcorn?

[Kobal2]

U.S. leads the pack, with 500.000 tons of pop corn a year, of which 100.000 tons are exported. Do you have a big case of the munchies, or will that be enough ?

[Elendil_s_Heir]

Please, please just don’t watch Liquid Sky anytime soon, or you may decide to punitively destroy Earth at once.

[coffeecat]

Hey, I liked that!

Do astronomers have orgasms? What about multiple orgasms?

[Chronos]

I’m having a hard time accepting 3500 years worth of original content each year on TV. Any given station can be broadcasting a maximum of one year per year, so you’d need at least 3500 stations to produce that much. But then you have to consider that most stations are network affiliates, showing mostly the same shows as each other, and account for all of that unoriginal content, so you’d need probably a couple orders of magnitude more than that. You’d end up with only about ten thousand people on the planet watching the average show.

[ragerdude]

@AClockworkMelon

The Fifth Element is life, actually.

The fifth element is boron.

[Elendil_s_Heir]

@ragerdude

The fifth element is boron.

Not bacon? Damn.

[The_Seventh_Deadly_Finn]

@Chronos

I’m having a hard time accepting 3500 years worth of original content each year on TV. Any given station can be broadcasting a maximum of one year per year, so you’d need at least 3500 stations to produce that much. But then you have to consider that most stations are network affiliates, showing mostly the same shows as each other, and account for all of that unoriginal content, so you’d need probably a couple orders of magnitude more than that. You’d end up with only about ten thousand people on the planet watching the average show.

It does seem high; here’s their reasoning:

There are 20,991 television stations in the world, according to the CIA Factbook. If these stations broadcast 16 hours per day, this would equal about 123 million hours total programming. We estimate about 1/4 of the programs are “original,” this is 31 million hours each year.

I don’t know if those “1/4 original” and “16 hours a day” are WAGs or not. I can imagine TV stations in Moldova being 20 hours a day of original farm reports; I could also imagine them being all “Dynasty” reruns. I’d be happy to hear from any dopers in the developing world who can speak to what TV stations in, say, Turkmenistan are like.

I’m on surer footing in the U.S. (where I am now, having stopped here for my 8000-year lunch break). Here’s the study’s take on that:

As of 2002, there are 1,686 broadcast television stations in the United States, according to the US Federal Communications Commission. This figure includes the major networks (ABC, CBS, NBC, FOX, PBS and newcomers WB, UPN and PAX) and the networks’ affiliates, as well as local and public broadcasting stations. In addition, the National Cable Television Association reports that there are 308 cable networks.

If all 1,994 of these stations broadcast 20 hours per day, that would equal about 14.5 million hours per year. We estimate that about 1/4 of the television programs broadcast are “original” — this is 3.6 million hours each year…

I’m starting to suspect that the “1/4 original” fudge factor might be the problem-- and I wouldn’t be surprised in some of the stations in the CIA Factbook might broadcast many fewer than 16 hours, too.

[bouv]

@coremelt

well according to this, just on youtube, in May 2009 20 hours of video was uploaded every minute.

Well, good thing he decided against watching all of youtube, because if 20 hours is uploaded every minute, then there’s no way you could ever watch everything. I mean…you watch a one minute youtube video, and suddenly you have 20 more hours to watch! Even if we account for lots of repeats, and youtube uploads of clips that already exist in another media format, I’m still guessing there’s more than one minute of original video uploaded every minute, so you’d always be behind, and getting further behind, to boot.

[running_coach]

All that’s needed is 8,761 hours per year and you never catch up.

[The_Seventh_Deadly_Finn]

@bouv

Well, good thing he decided against watching all of youtube, because if 20 hours is uploaded every minute, then there’s no way you could ever watch everything. I mean…you watch a one minute youtube video, and suddenly you have 20 more hours to watch!

…which is why the OP included the following caveat:

Before any wiseguy points out that you’ll keep making more while I’m watching, I’ll limit my interstellar video night to stuff that came out on or before May 5, 2010.

But I guess wiseguys spring eternal.