I’m the first(and type, probably) to say:
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis.
Why didn’t you simply say…
Lung disease caused by silicon dust from volcanoes.
It’s shorter.
Ooookaaay…
So Clueless is suffering from Sacrifical Virgin Inhalant Malady. And he was the first to say it.
::ponders deeply::
This topic is now offically open to bad puns and allusions to plate tectonics, the earth moving, etc…
Veb
I was the first to toss about the term “asswipe”…heck…almost got me banned in May…now it’s a run of the mill insult in the Pit…
No, wait, this is a good idea for a thread.
Last night, not 15 minutes after midnight, I put a rotten banana peel in my mouth. I’m declaring myself the FIRST person in the entire world to put a rotten banana peel in his mouth, in the third millennium.
…the truly sad thing is, I’m seriously proud of this.
Mine was better. 
Also, I was eating juju b’s when it turned 12:00, so I was probably the first to be eating juju b’s in the supposed “new millenium”. 
I was officially the one-zillionth person who snuck to his fuse box last night at midnight at shut everything off to freak out his 16 y/o son who was having a party downstairs.
“We knew it was you all along.” Yeah, right.
I was playing EverQuest online just to see if it was Y2K compliant. That’s right, I’m the first person in the year 2000 to kill bats online.
Short hijack-- there were people in that game having a party with fireworks. A virtual party with virtual fireworks in a virtual world that only exists on the inside of your computer, and these people thought it was a perfectly good way to spend Y2K. Kinda scary if you think about it.
My excuse? I wasn’t feeling too good and so I watched the fireworks displays on PBS and CNN. Kudos to PBS, their coverage was better.
– Sylence
I don’t have an evil side. Just a really, really apathetic one.
Hey, how’s this for a first. I think I was the first Doper to post the word “tenesmus” on this board. Probably “pilgarlic” too.
Easy one-step assembly instructions.
Pour Beer A in Uncle B.