Favorite Pit-isms

The BBQ Pit
#1

For some reason, over the past day or two I’ve encountered several pit-ism insults that just bust me up. My definition (yours may vary, of course) of a pit-ism is

A) An insult thrown in mostly for “spice” without any real meaning (e.g. “I don’t expect you have a cite for the bit of stupidity you fuckwit.”

B) Utilizing language that would be unacceptable outside the pit (e.g. “Donkey Breath” would not count)

My top three at the moment are:

Fucktard (the classics never die)
Fuckwinkle (first seen by me in the French History thread)
Fuckstick (first encountered this in the friendly fire thread yesterday)

Anyone else care to share?

#2

OH! I love the person who started a thread about Jackos’ baby dangling incident and coined him as an Alien Fucktard.

I use that all the time. Great one!

#3

“Fucko Off!”

Courtesy of Uekte.

#4

“Fucknugget” was popular for a while.

Every time I read “fucktard,” I think it could also mean a type of one-piece garment, sort of like a leotard. “I knew she wanted it right away, she was wearing one of those fucktards.”

#5

Never thought of it that way, Duke. Have to get my wife one o’ them thar fucktards! Would definitely improve on her goawayflannelpajamas…

#6

My definition is a little different. Pitisms are acts and people, not just words.

From my own personal stash of words though:
assbeef
smacktard

Pitisms in my eye is a couple of things or types of people(no examples provided)

-The Fueders - Personal affronts to the very nature of the person in general. Flame wars come and go but there are a few posters out there that are the equivalent of the Hatfield/McCoy fued. Everytime one hits, the other follows with their volley. The Pit is their fave battleground.

-The dismissive. We got a few cruisers that fall into this catagory. You can go into excrutiating detail, nailing sources to the wall, cites, etc etc but something just rubs them the wrong way and they decide to put in for a short 1 sentence deriding nothing in general other than you or the oh so hilarious “OP 2.2” judges score. Not used lately but occasionaly we will get some smacktard reviving the dead.

-Trashmouth. Apparently its pent up from other forums cause some people get into the Pit and unleash volleys that would make sailors do double takes. I have seen Angels on the other topics come in here and release a shit storm of such epic proportions, you wonder if they have become possessed.

-The pile on or “Dittos” A pitted will get pitted and suddenly the voices come from the woodwork even though they seemed to have nothing to do with the original arguement or reason why they got pitted. Not that they have no right but sometimes you get a ‘voice from the darkness’ -someone that has not said boo to the person - suddenly chime in. This seemed to have caused that trainwreck of flameouts a while back that got the ‘sticky’ above.

-The wingnuts - We got a few and right now one is being roasted slowly in the Pit. I am talking the guys that thump their favorite worship book, talmud, or what have you and swear up and down based on religion. Not saying they are wingnuts, just my name for guys that use the religion aspect in EVERY post.

-The “Im not wrong” Pitted. These rubes just cannot quit. Occasionally a pitted will take such offense to having themselves pitted that they will fight it down to their last breath. It happens every once in a while and is a interesting study on human fortitude (or stubborness). Often from page 7 on its a core group of 3 to 4 people against the pitted and mostly gets off track and stupid.

-The burnouts. This happened a lil while ago. Some nut decides everyone is agin him and decides to deride everyone in his reach, going for the inevitable ban. People often wonder why he or she just does not post if everyone is against him. Often have personal vendettas against the Mods.

-The defilers A rare occurance. One yutz decides to come in and pit a practiced pitter. A hilarious read moreover as the second to seventh posts tell the idiot just how much shit he/she has mired themselves in.

Thats just a few off the top of the melon. Personally, I love the pit as it has more baser arguements and occasionally your total kooky nutjob that would get the closed thread in other forums.

#7

I’ve started using fuckwaffle in my daily conversations. Judiciously, of course.

#8

on another board i frequent fuckmitten has become popular

#9

I just picture this:

Amanita: May it please the Court…

Judge Rhenquist: Go ahead.

Amanita: The respondent in this case is a complete fuckwaffle.

Judge Rhenquist: Bailiff! BAILIFF!!!

Or maybe I’m just misinterpreting “judiciously.” :smiley:

#10

I quite enjoy “fuckflap” myself. So alliterative.

#11

Ooh, I like fuckmitten.

So many good suffixes for the word fuck.

Ah, mother would be so proud. No, really. I got my obscene vocabulary from her!

#12

Ah Hamlet, I would go sit in court to see THAT.

Speaking of Hamlet:

“Alas poor Yorick, what a fuckwhiffle he was…”

#13

Hamlet, I’m honored by your notice.

More likely that I’d be calling Judge Rehnquist a fuckwaffle than the defendant, but hey.

#14

**Goat felching fucktard ** is my favorite, yet I have such little ooportunity IRL to utilize it.

#15

The newly coined “cocksocket” will become a classic, I predict.

#16

Asshat is one of my favorites, and I never saw it until I lurked these boards.

#17

I have long awaited an opportunity to use the following as a commentary on a poster - but I haven’t yet come across an opportunity to do so (no one obnoxious enough to warrant it):
"Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his ass to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I had ever heard.
"This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.

"This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called "The Better ‘Ole’ that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, "Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?’

"‘Nah! I had to go relieve myself.’

"After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

"Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in- curving hooks and start eating. He thought this was cute at first and built and act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: ‘It’s you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we don’t need you around here any more. I can talk and eat AND shit.’

“After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpole’s tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous- except for the EYES you dig. That’s one thing the asshole COULDN’T do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn’t give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes WENT OUT, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab’s eyes on the end of a stalk.”

-William Burroughs, Naked Lunch

:smiley:

#18

I’m big on Asshat and Assclown.

And the Michael Jackson thread title that Siemsi mentioned was hilarious… But I’m wary of using “fucktard” myself, since it’s a little un-PC (yeah, I know the Pit isn’t meant to be a haven for political correctness, but I can’t really help thinking that way).

#19

So what would we call such a person for short… Assmouth? AssFeeder? AnusBreather? Coloniverous?

#20

I don’t know where I got it from, but I think fuckleduck is a pretty good word.