Okay. I think a lot of people here know I’m no stranger to the Pit, either in earnest or in jest. I am not posting this under the misguided illusion that I am somehow the patron saint of this particular forum. This is simply a rant about something that is really annoying the shit out of me. Two things, actually.
1)Felch. Let it die, kids. I’ll admit it, I was right in there with you when this first hit the MB. We should all thank (or deplore, depending on how you see it) the powers that granted us the knowledge of this unholiest of unholy acts, and we’ll all save a special place in our hearts for Coldfire, bless his soul. This most beloved of verbs (or gerund or adjective, however it’s being used) has given us more than our fair share of chuckles, innuendo, and zany product ideas. But this particular bit of vernacular has run its course. Like an old dog who knows it’s going to die, why don’t we just let this one find a nice, peaceful spot in the woods and pass to its reward. Let’s not drag this out past its time, like In Living Color or the Police Academy movies.
In other words, cut it the fuck loose.
2)“And since this is the Pit, let me just add…”. See, this is just missing the point. If you don’t really have anything to bitch about, if you’re not going at it like two boars fighting over an ear of corn, if you were able to state your mind without using any swear words, it is not required to swear or flame in the Pit! We all know this is where people come to bitch, moan, cry, freak out, accuse and belittle each other. We don’t need some lame ass little comment at the end of your post to remind us. In fact, it makes it seem as though you feel some kind of burden when you post here. “Oh, now I must add some clever little remark here. How dreadfully plebian. Ho-hum.” We can deal with people not swearing. We can deal with people posting gasp non-flame posts in the Pit. We’re all grown-ups. Really. We promise. We won’t yell at you for not putting a little parting shot in there.
Now I’m sure someone’s going to jump in here and say something about the “Ass Slammer” thread. “Oh, real nice, Flyp, you hypocrite. Look at all the fake flames you had in that! You dick!” “Yeah, fuck you, Flyp! Don’t tell me how to post!” Yeah, well, Sparky, listen up. The difference between what Drain, Omni, Chef, Demo and I (as well as the others who posted there) did in that thread and what I’m bitching about is this; all of the posts in that thread were supposed to be slams against each other taken in jest. And that was the entire point of each and every post. There weren’t any posts where someone made a non-flame statement and then followed it up with some fucking twee little comment involving explicit sexual acts, farmyard denizens and your father’s Oldsmobile. Honestly, this practice detracts from some otherwise good posts.
Oh, and for all the people who will post after me with anything along the lines of “And since this is the Pit, go felch yourself/go felch a dead goat/go felch your father’s Oldsmobile, Flyp!” I kneel in awe of your comic genius. You rock. Really. You’re cool. I’m busting a gut. Tears. Rolling down face. Honest Injun.
