I don’t mean to be a cockbushwallering party pooper and I do love a good bit of inventive cumpocketing invective but am I the only one getting tired of fartbastarding made up, non-existant incon-luvcustardbubbling-ceivable pittisms? Y’know, where posters desperate to be recognised as the creater of the next ‘Asshat’ come up with silly sounding (and frankly just plain embarrassing) insults whereby they stick a normal, common or garden cocksprocketing swearword like ‘Fuck, shit, cock etc…’ and then concatenate it with either a completely inoffensive household appliance (Plunger, Sponge, Corkscrew) or non existant words which sound like they come from an Australian Geography Bee (Dimble, Wozza, Hoola etc…) or just miscellaneous words like bubble, pocket, bucket or nugget.
Like I said, I don’t mean to piss on everyone’s parade like a cuntbouncing dildovideo but these fictitious ball-sac-sponging swearwords really get on my nippleclippers. They sound contrived, invariably detract from any rant and always leave me of a mental image of someone with a Rogers Profanisaurus in one hand and some obscure kitchen/torture implement in the other in a desperate search for an original concate-clitwiddling-nation. Kinda sad, really.
I pledge a jizzflicking return to traditional knobknockering cursing free from all bizarre bumblefucking bibbleywobbleybollocking combinations of decent swearwords and meaningless gibberish or inoffensive household items. No longer shall our good, wholesome tittytwizzling American profanities be sullied by random, dumbshit extensions! No longer shall the keystones of English invective be subject to halfbaked mutations like cumbubble, fucknugget or assclown! LET US RISE, AND BRING OUR MOST SACRED SWEARWORDS BACK TO THEIR ROOTS!!
WHO’S WITH ME???
You should understand that I was born far north of the Arctic Circle, to a desititute family of Finnish fish-scrapers. We had no radio or television, and our nightly entertainment primarily consisted of sitting around the parlor and fondly buttering each others’ hair. Times were hard and when I was five, I was sent to live with an abusive uncle on a small South Pacific Island, where I was forced daily to chase down and catch Guinea hens which we would sell for a few Guineas to visitors from neighboring New Guinea. I eventually made my escape and worked for several years as a dogsbody to the captain of a tramp freighter; why the captain didn’t simply get a dog I’ll never know, but I was grateful for the work, and the bowl of kibble I wolfed down once a day.
Since my arrival in these Great United Snakes, I’ve mostly been working nights as a labor organizer in a local maternity ward, and thus have had little time for recreation, or to learn the mysterious ways of the natives. I did make it to the Houston rodeo this year and, while there were many Wranglers, which appear to be a certain type of pants, on view, there were no obvious weeners visible within them, and I was too shy to enquire further.
All the above is just by way of explaining that I am not so worldly as many of the esteemed posters here, and I beg your forgiveness for never previously having come across this quaint expression.
This works for me. Of course, I’ve only used “asshat” in one post, and it was in response to a prior post specifically using that word. Heck, I don’t even know what “asshat” means, although I’m guessing it has some tenuous connection with having one’s head up one’s ass. I’m still not sure how this would make someone an “asshat”, as opposed to it making that person’s ass itself an “asshat”.
And why didn’t “asshelmet” become popular instead?
On a related note, outside of quoting others’ posts, I have used the word “fuck” (or any variation thereof) in only one post out of nearly 700 :eek:
