And on top of all that, you’ve got a nice ass. I know. I’ve seen a picture of it. 
I haven’t seen Rasa’s uterus, though. Although I might like to. 
Unfortunately, I know exactly where my uterus is. It is causing me undue pain and torture at the moment. Oh well. Such is life.
I have to say in my defense that while the picture has been viewed in my presence, I have not seen wood’s ass. I could dig up the picture and look, but I what if I like his ass? What if it is so enticing and enchanting that I decide to worship it? What if it screams “LOOK AT MY BUTT!” a la George Michaels? Hmm? What then? What would oldscratch do without me? And woodstock’s girlfriend and kids! HMM? Anyone think of THEM in all this?
What? Oh. My uterus has reattached. I shall become unhysterical now.
Rant noted…
Attention paid.
Oh man, woodstock. There, there, man. Here, have some candy, kick back, and relax. It will be all better come superbowl Sunday. Looks like you need just a small break from life, ya? Well, i hope to see you Sunday.
(By the way, each post of your’s I read, you get cooler in my mind every time. Keep it up, dude!)
I’d post something meaningful, witty and erudite.
But one birdie stalker is enough for me…
I too, have seen the ass of woodstock. And i do agree, very very nice. Woodstock, you should be proud, you have the Doobieous seal of approval.
Superb rant. Absolutely brilliant.
:: Donating some of my spare attention ::
From, Jack Batty, Attention-Slut (patent pending).
An iffy aquatic mamal that agrees?
Nice! Rant! Wood!Stock!Stock!Y!Bird!Or!Whatever!! Taxing on the mods! Perhaps!! How should I know! Come down from the mountain! WTF! I’ve never been UP there! UncleBeer keeps stepping on my hands when I reach the top!
And I just now Realised! I wasn’t supposed to copy your style! Oh, well! Etc.!
!!!
wow!
The ass of woodstock? You mean Country Joe McDonald?
But seriously, thanks Doob. You too, Shayna. As you are both mighty fine humanoid specimens, I’m quite flattered. In fact, doob, if your last post was just a little more terse I’d use it as my new sig line. My ass exists to be adored, and I am proud that it brings joy into the lives of those less blessed than myself. Why, if the leaders of nations would just spend a little more time each day paying attention to my hallowed booty, we could achieve world peace and end hunger.
To everyone else, thanks again for feeding my ego. I’m doing much better. I’ve come to the conclusion that I sincerely and deeply don’t give two damns about my job. I’ll do my work, collect my paycheck and go home. I don’t need the headaches.
Anyway, I really just wanted to bump this up so it could compete with fellow attention slut Jack Batty’s thread. Cheers!
Besides, it’d make more sense than what they’re doing now and it’d look great on a flag! Think about it! Not to mention letterhead!
Thanks for a sterling, quality rant. Truly eerie–cause and effect?–but I just came to the same conclusion today. (About work idiocies, not your ass, though I’m not quibbling about it.) Just that tiniest bit extra that starts the landslide OUT.
Damn you, woodstockybird, damn your eyes! Now I’m not only easing my way to something better, I’m designing logos featuring my posterior as a remembrance.
Ignorance doesn’t stand a chance against forces like these.
Veb
If there’s one thing I like, it’s seeing someone bitch better, longer, and more theraputically than I do. Hell, yeah, Woody! Keep tellin’ us what you think. It might help keep you sane; it will definitely help keep me sane.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I think My Hallowed Booty would make a great name for a band.
And woodstock, much as I like you? I will not be pledging allegiance to your ass.
Kind of gives “Oh say can you see” a whole new meaning.