I thought I could keep it under control. I haven’t touched one of these babies in, what, two years or so? I used to have a two-pack-a-day habit, but after years of addiction I realised that I was getting out of control – I had to stop. And although quitting was hell, I managed. I hadn’t even thought about using again until I was in that convenience store on Wednesday. I saw the rows of packs on the counter display, and thought “Wow, it’s been awhile…maybe I’ll pick up a pack. After all, one can’t hurt”.
Now I’m sitting here at my desk, looking at this crumpled, empty pack, and all I can think is “can I get to the store and back before I have to sign in to work?”
Don’t go with menthol though. All that does is get you hooked on cigarettes, and still craving the Breathsaver… eventually, you’re in an alley with a smoke stuck through a Breathsaver, wishing you could get back to your first experience of wintergreen wonder.
Wintergreen’s okay but if you want really good breath wash down a bunch of crack cocaine with warm Schlitz. No bottles though… it’s gotta be from a can.
I have a thing for the little pink wintergreen candies. I currently have a bag of them in the freezer. A reasonable person might ask why I keep them in the freezer. Well there is no good explanation. For some reason, stuff stored there doesn’t tempt me. So I have a bunch of stuff I should not eat there. But, a reasonable person might ask - why have it if you are never going to eat it? Well, as I said, there is no good explanation.
Aren’t those the ones that spark when you bite them? I have a surreal recollection of me in Girl Scout Camp, sitting in a tent with a bunch of other 10-year-olds, crunching Lifesavers and watching the sparks in each other’s mouths. Entertaining a 10-year-old really isn’t difficult, is it?