A few years ago, I noticed that I get an inordinate amount of pleasure from certain habits, objects and routines and that I don’t like to give these things up.
For example, I wore out a braided belt and couldn’t find another because they’d gone out of fashion. The braided design allows air to circulate, which is a good thing for me in summer heat. So, it seemed like a real conundrum when I couldn’t find a replacement. After going to five or six shops, it dawned on me that I was making too big a deal of it, so I bought an unbraided belt and have lived happily since then, I’m glad to report.
Giving up coffee was a lot harder to get used to, although it was less of an ordeal than my belt debacle because I was determined to put an end to decades of excess stomach acid. I switched to tea and, for a while, I was drinking a certain brand that was only available across town, and I’d make the trek every few months to buy more, rain or shine. With the pandemic, I switched to a store brand of a supermarket chain and haven’t looked back.
How about you? Do you have any anecdotes about becoming unreasonably attached to something and having to give it up?
My unreasonable attachment to opioids was one long running anecdote of dysfunction and the need to stop being so attached to them. Gave 'em up in 1990 after years of trying and failing.
Mine was nicotine. Less disabling than an opioid addiction (also less illegal) but notoriously difficult to kick. I went in knowing it was addictive, but what had not been explained to me was that addiction tends to go hand in hand with “tolerance” — i.e., you don’t get a rush from it any more, you don’t get to enjoy it, you just have to keep taking it to fend off withdrawal symptoms. I wasn’t pissed off so much for being hooked as for the combo of being hooked plus not getting a damn thing out of the habit any more. But quitting took several attempts. Credit to my Athens GA hypnotist on that one.
For unexplainable reasons my favourite Sweet Chili sauce routinely just falls out of inventory and disappears from the Asian grocery shelves. And there are now three large Asian markets in my city, I’ve checked them all.
Then, just as mysteriously, it will reappear for several months. I always buy six bottles when I see it, keep my pantry stocked. But 18 months later, I let down my guard, keep only two bottles on hand. Then, boom! It disappears again! Grrrrr…
I’ve tried all the others and I’m NOT switching. Die Hard indeed!
I hope this fits in this thread - I have this sort of thing, but for things that I don’t have yet. For example, I’ll be thinking about buying a thing, I skim the market and look at a few offerings, then in my head, always seem to concoct an idealised product with a combination of features nobody makes, then spend forever searching for it.
For example, I would like a ‘compact fullsize’ keyboard (that is, with numpad and nav cluster, but not as big and spacious as a fullsize KB) with UK ISO layout, and with a specific kind of switches (Gateron red) and keycaps (XDA double shot).
All of those features exist, just not in one device. That won’t stop me wishing and searching.
I do this every time I try to buy something with any kind of complexity of function. I guess that’s the habit
When ya gotta have it, ya gotta have it. I still make the trek to that place on the other side of town (see OP) to buy a certain style of bread sticks and radiatori (pasta). They’re not available anywhere else in my area, so I buy five or six bags of each.
I have to have Mrs Renfro’s salsas around the house, and Blair’s Mega Death and Cholula for the other primary kind of hot sauce (the kind you shake out of a bottle, as opposed to the kind you dip chips into). Several months ago, the grocery stores stopped stocking the Mrs Renfro habanero, ghost pepper, and carolina reaper salsas, using up all the shelf space for her mango and corn kernels and other too-mild-to-suit-me varieties, so I had to order up a box for direct shipment.
I’ve been mail-ordering the Mega Death (and occasionally Scorned Woman or El Yucateco) from Fire Girl for years now because I can rarely find it when I’m running low. When it’s for tuna or turkey or chicken or something, any of the above-mentioned midrange sauces are nice, but for the fried egg and bacon and cheddar on english muffin, I crave the molten lava of Mega Death and nothing else will do.
These are habits that will only die if all the relevant companies go out of business or something. And they better not!!
Or when the doctor says so. I was given a list of foods and habits to avoid, looked over the names and said, “But they’re all friends! Some are family!” I laughed and the doctor didn’t (in a most doctorly way).
Mine is coffee, for the same reason as you, OP. It was a deep and abiding love affair, and I tried everything to keep from giving it up. Low acid coffee, cold brew, cutting back…but I finally had to admit that nothing was helping. I bought some green tea and made the transition almost painlessly (damn caffeine withdrawal headaches notwithstanding). I was, and remain shocked at how easy it was, and how little I miss it. I guess physical misery is a good deterrent for me.
So was mine, up to three packs a day. Tried to quit several times, failed dismally. Then I happened to be taking a psychology course, and we were studying systematic desensitization (SD). Everyone in the class had to take a bad habit of theirs, and quit it through SD. Some worked on losing weight, saving money, cleaning house, etc. Mine was quitting smoking. I was very skeptical, but did it anyway. By the end of the semester I had quit smoking, and didn’t even miss it. In fact, I was the ONLY person in the class who succeeded.
That was over 42 years ago, and I haven’t smoked once!
Mine was a similar dilemma. I didn’t give up coffee, I switched to decaf. Dithered over it for about a year and a half. When I finally made the switch, I felt better physically and haven’t really had any issues at all with the reduced caffeine intake
I would go to Amazon long before hitting Store #5.
There are many things (especially clothing) that I don’t like getting from Amazon, because I want to see with my own eye and hands what it looks like and feels like. But even so, if I was that much set on a particular uncommon thing, I would at least look at what’s available on Amazon. You can usually return stuff if you decide you don’t like it.
I typed “braided belt” on Amazon, and it came back with hundreds of suggestions.
I have been going through about a jar or two a week of the salsa verde since last April. Amazon occasionally runs low and I get nervous. I tried some of Guy Fieri’s salsa verde and it was terrible.
Indeed. I haven’t lived in Green Bay (the town where I grew up) since 1989, but I go back there regularly, to visit my family, and some friends who still live in the area.
There was a local chain of dairy and deli stores, Hansen’s, in Green Bay, which sold, among other things, take-and-bake fresh pizzas. I loved those, and whenever I’d go up there, I’d make sure that I went to Hansen’s, and would buy four or five pizzas. I’d freeze them in my parents’ chest freezer before I’d head home, and they would still be mostly frozen by the time I got back to Illinois. They’d then go into my freezer, and I’d be able to enjoy my favorite pizza for several weeks.
The chain eventually shrunk to a single location, and finally went out of business a few months ago, when the owner died suddenly, thus finally ending my pizza tradition after 30+ years.
I switched to a blended black tea, because I don’t know if I’d manage without the caffeine boost twice a day. It took about 10 days for me to stop missing the smell and taste of good coffee, especially in the morning. Still kind of haunts me.
Thanks for the tip! Leather, too, which is the kind I liked (those stretch fabrics just feel wrong, ha-ha). My online purchases have been limited to books, CDs and various kinds of equipment and supplies, because clothing’s too personal (as you say), although I’ve been reconsidering lately.
Yeah, while I admire those who successfully go cold turkey, I think it’s important to set sensible goals, take it in stages, etc.
That’s what I’m talking about! The hot-sauce anecdotes, too. Upthread, I used the word unreasonable. Addiction to opioids, caffeine, nicotine, etc. is reasonable because it’s not surprising or unusual that they’re hard habits to break. The point of my coffee-tea story is that I was oddly obsessed with a certain brand for a while. It doesn’t really matter here, though. All posts welcome!
And then there’s love. A friend once told me there’d been only one partner in his life that he couldn’t forget. They’d tried to make it work a few times, but the relationship was bad for both of them. He said she was actually rather unattractive but there was something about her that he found compelling. At that point, he got very serious, looked me straight in the eye and said he especially liked the smell of her dirty hair. It was highly uncharacteristic of this friend to say something weird like that, let alone to reveal such intimate details, and I sensed it was still a source of great pain for him.
Diagnosed with GERD after 4 ER visits in 3 years. Handed a long list of foods to avoid. There was a couple things on the list I enjoy that would be tough to quit, coffee and chocolate. I now drink coffee watered down with ice so I still get my caffeine fix. I limit chocolate to a few small pieces a week. The one thing on the list I really miss is tomato and tomato products. That is a lot of items I can’t eat. Add me to the smoking group too, gave up tobacco and pot 28 years ago.
The hot-sauce anecdotes, too. Upthread, I used the word unreasonable. Addiction to opioids, caffeine, nicotine, etc. is reasonable because it’s not surprising or unusual that they’re hard habits to break. The point of my coffee-tea story is that I was oddly obsessed with a certain brand for a while. It doesn’t really matter here, though. All posts welcome!