I'm worried about deewards psychological state!

There are so many fucking Engelbert/Inglebert/Englebert threads on the board today and I’m really concerned about the emotional stability of one dickwad, ooops, sorry DEEward.

No, SERIOUSLY!
Is there any way to have a psychological screening done before people are admitted as members of the board?:smiley: (Not that many of us would pass that sort of test, except Meeeeeee!!)

Y’know, it could have questions like: ‘Do you like Engelbert Humperdink?’ and if answered in the affirmative, we could send them over to one of those MSN communities that help people with Engelbert Obsessive conditions. It’s really sad to watch someone hit rock bottom HERE. They’re TRAINED over there, and I’m sure there’s a Twelve Step Recovery program for Engelbert Addiction. I think it’s called Wankers Anonymous.

I know this is meant to be the Pit, (I did include the mandatory FUCK at the start of the thread) and I’m not really hanging it on deeward, I just feel desperate sympathy for such a pathetic case. Can someone, ANYONE please help her???

Oh, deeward, if you’re reading this, just remember that recovery is a long, hard road, and WE’RE right there behind you honey.:wally

Psst!
http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=110424

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=110414

That’s odd…I haven’t noticed anyone around here with the Dopername of Meeeeeee!!.

:smiley:

I have a mental picture of dickwad… er Derwood…whatever, holed up in his house, the roof swarming with federal agents, and large black trucks with massive speakers playing Humperdinck songs twenty four /seven. He comes out after a few weeks, babbling like a baby, standing in a pool of his own urine, shielding his eyes from the high-intensity lighting, and swearing never to post another Engelbert Humperdinck thread ever again.

Deeward is a fucking genius!!

Englebert tap-dancing Humperdink?
A plea for no swearing?
In the fucking Pit?!?
A war against society?!?!
“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you”?!?!?!?
Bravo! I can’t wait for the next performance.

Just adding kambuckta’s name to my list of favourite rant-meisters of the Pit. Do carry on.

Englebert Humperdinck Anonymous, anyone? :smiley:

What is the point of this?

Your ego wasn’t stroked enough by all the people congratulating you on the pit thread deeward started, so you had to start one for yourself, kambuckta?

Gee, yeah, deeward is really pathetic. She definitely needs to get a life. :rolleyes:

I should have included this in one of the earlier threads, but I was too lazy. Anyway …

Englebert came to our county fair last summer when I was living in Eastern Washington. The paper I was working for sent a photographer to the concert and got a shot of 'E. Hump" with his shirt open and fondling his own nipple. Good taste prevented us for actually using the shot, but copies of it were passed around the newsroom.

And I framed one for my 57-year-old mom and signed it “From Englebert, Maybe it is unusal.”

Hump’s now hanging in all his glory on my mom’s fridge.

Now, if I can just get a similar shot of Johnny Mathis…