<irrelevant context>, made me wonder just how big the Ku Klux Klan is nowadays anyway. I learned the SPLC says it has 5000-8000 members. That’s about 0.0002% of the U.S. population. It crossed my mind that you could probably get that many people to sign a petition against immigration from the isles of Langerhans. Does anyone have solid data regarding my theory? I don’t want to post a petition on https://petitions.whitehouse.gov, because it might take off and get the president’s attention, and I don’t want to distract him, since he seems like the kind of guy who can’t hold more than one idea in his head at a time.
I generally question this.
I don’t know about that one, but petitions have circulated calling for a ban on dihydrogen monoxide, AKA DHMO. You might be able to find numbers for that one.
But I fully support stronger efforts against migration from the Islets of Langerhans. Nobody but werewolves comes from there.
I also think we shouldn’t allow immigrants from the Isles of Langerhans. They wouldn’t blend into American society, as they come from a very insular culture.
As any reader of Harlan Ellison knows, the Islets (not Isles) of Langerhans are located at the corner of 2nd and H Streets NE in Washington, D.C.
But we know that it’s immigration from shitholes that causes all of our problems. The pancreas is a long way from the shithole, and it does appear to be mostly white.
I’m guessing 9, maybe 10% of the population would be all in favor of immigration from the Isle of Langerhans. Trick is to keep the locals from killing them off…
Wouldn’t immigrants from the islets of Langerhans be some kind of metastasizing pancreatic cancer? I think the denizens of the islets of Langerhans need to stay right where they are.
Considering what he has been focussing on recently, why wouldn’t you want to distract him?!?
[Moderating]
While there’s certainly room for jokes, here, the OP does seem to have a legitimate question: To wit, what proportion of the population could be convinced to express support for a position which is not merely ludicrous, but nonsensical. Let’s please try to address that question, and if we’re going to joke, to make the jokes in addition to answers, not instead of them.
I was puzzled by this thread. It seemed to me to be either IMHO or MPSIMS, as I don’t really see how there is a real factual answer?
The Obama Administration actually gave a response to a 2012 petition for “the United States government to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016”:
[quote=Paul Shawcross, for the Presidential Administration of Barack Obama]
This Isn’t the Petition Response You’re Looking For
The Administration shares your desire for job creation and a strong national defense, but a Death Star isn’t on the horizon. Here are a few reasons:
[ul]
[li]The construction of the Death Star has been estimated to cost more than $850,000,000,000,000,000. We’re working hard to reduce the deficit, not expand it.[/li][li]The Administration does not support blowing up planets.[/li][li]Why would we spend countless taxpayer dollars on a Death Star with a fundamental flaw that can be exploited by a one-man starship?[/ul][/li][/quote]
The original petition got 34,435 signatures.
Now, this raises a question, though: How, in the Internet Age, can you possibly distinguish between genuinely ignorant people who really do want the U.S. government to build a planet-destroying super-weapon the size of “a small moon”, or who want to ban immigration from the “islets of Langerhans”; and straight-faced smart-asses who are in on the joke?
Are you working toward a Rule of the Internet? In the case of this thread, if the user is male, sixty-ish, and calls them "the far-flung isles (not islets) of Langerhans you have a wiseass.
Another data point: Back in the Nineties the American Jewish Committee ordered a study done to see how Americans viewed various ethnic groups, with different groups being rated on a scale of 1 (low) to 9 (high). Wisian-Americans turned out to be widely mistrusted; based on the responses of the 39% of survey takers who had an opinion on those wascally Wisians, the group wound up with a pretty low 4.12 rating.
Of course “Wisian-American” is a fictional group that the designers of the study included just to see if people would blindly rate a completely non-existent “ethnic group” that they obviously could not possibly have ever even heard of before.
I strongly suspect that, with the current political climate, you could ask the question “Do you support immigration from [ANYTHING AT ALL]?”–Narnia, Middle-earth, the Zeta Reticuli star system, the Lost Continent of Atlantis, the planet Tatooine, the kingdom of Ruritania, Sarah Huckabee Sanders’ ass–and probably get a very polarized response, with a substantial portion of the population just stopping at “Do you support immigration…” and saying “NO!!!” (“We should build an Orbital Defense Shield, and make the Zeta Reticulans pay for it!”) and another substantial portion of the population just stopping at “Do you support immigration…” and saying “YES!!!” (“We are a nation of immigrants; most immigrants are hard-working–Wait, why are you laughing at me and talking about ‘orcs’/‘gray aliens’/‘Sandpeople’?!? That sounds very racist!!!”)
And then there’s the crazification factor:
So: A clearly crazy asshole with everything working against him can get 27% of the vote. I think you can assume about that many would vote in favor of just about anything, and maybe add a few points for people who are against immigration purely on principle, regardless of where from.
So he can keep the government turned off till Congress lets him wall off Mexico and Langerhans? Do you want to be the one to convince him he’s an imbecile who’s been distracted by something shiny? “FAKE NEWS! FAKE NEWS! I AM A GENIUS! LA, LA, LA, LA, I CAN’T HEAR YOU!”
Don’t rush me!
I was unaware of the Firesign Theatre quote until just now, when I did a search for “far-flung” etc. This is a case of convergent evolution. And “isles” doesn’t seem to be incorrect, just less common than “islets.” Cite.
My jokes generally have a serious point. My point is that 0.0002% of people will say or do all kinds of stupid things, and that the KKK is puny, an insignificant flake of skin on America’s butt, and deserves to be laughed at rather than feared. This example of something stupid popped into my head, I wondered if my belief in the stupid 0.0002% had empirical support, and turned to the Dope
You could always ask for funding to set up a quarantine station, complete with ginormous wall, at McBurney’s Point.
Actually, transplants from the islets of Langerhans are becoming a thing.
You have to be careful though - them Langerhans can be real trouble.
To address the OP (if that’s possible): there are routinely polls demonstrating that a substantial percentage of Americans (to pick on the good 'ol U.S.) believe in a daft conspiracy theory or some other inane proposition.
One benefit of the microscopic residual Klan (apart from giving the SPLC something to do) is that it keeps Ms. Ruth in business.
Wouldn’t that be emigration from the Isles of Langerhans? (Who become immigrants into the US.)
During the Adam Corrola / Jimmy Kimmel tenure of The Man Show, the guys tried to stop “Women’s Suffrage.” The show was new, and only a few people “got” it. Seriously, how can you support the continued suffering women face? Do something people. Har-Har.
Perhaps they have statistics available.
I know, during the Rick and Morty episode, “Anatomy Park” that I completely missed the value of Rick’s theme, “Pirates of the Pancreas”, I totally missed the Islets connection. Not may people get it – its not on the wikia, although it comes up on reddit.
I don’t think anyone, who’s inclined to make a wacky poll, really works hard of the statistics. Its just added expense that doesn’t make the joke funnier.