Imo's Pizza: Disgusting!

Cafe Society
1

I’m visiting friends in Missouri this week. Today, I volunteered to stay behind with a napping baby while my wife and our friends went out for the afternoon.

I had heard about this place Imo’s which people seem to regard as a local favorite in these parts.

My friends don’t like it–“Pizza on a cracker” they call it derisively–but when I travel one of my favorite things is to try out the kinds of cheap grubby foods people think of as their local fare. So I thought I’d give it a whirl while they were gone.

I like thin crust pizza, so that would definitely not be a problem.

So I’m eating it right now.

And it’s possibly the most disgusting thing I have ever put in my mouth.

The cheese, it’s, it’s cheddar. As far as I can tell, it’s all cheddar. And I can see a thin layer of tomato sauce but I can’t taste even a tiny bit of it. And the pepperoni is like the crappy little mini-pepperoni-bowls you get on cheap frozen pizza at the grocery store. And everything on top of the crust has the consistency of a thick, gummy paste. It’s like partly congealed velveeta.

I mean jesus and all that is holy, this stuff is gross.

Look, I’m really open minded about this kind of thing. When I don’t like a food at first, I try my best to damn well figure out how to like it. ATM I can’t think of any case in which I have failed to find a way to like a food. But oh my God, I truly, sincerely regret ever having put this disgusting, horrid, awful “pizza” thing into my body.

Oh my God. How do you people eat this stuff.

And I ate alot, too, trying to figure it out. I think I may go bulemic for a day.

On the other hand, the toasted ravioli was nice. Nothing to write home about.

-FrL-

2

Look, you know, I’m not even sure it’s cheddar. I’m half afraid its sliced American cheesefood product or something. Or cheeze whiz, which is fine in other contexts but…

-FrL-

3

It’s provel, which is a processed cheese made with cheddar, swiss, and provolone.

4

Yes, absolutely, Provel! I happen to love Imo’s Pizza and have found that there is no middle ground. You either love it or hate it. If you thought it was cheddar, I have no doubt that you thought it sucked. Anyway, I’d happily take the leftovers off of your hands!

5

St. Louis pizza is a bizarre concoction. I love cracker-crust pizza, but what the fuck is up with that nasty plastic provel shit they put on it? It’s like putting Kraft singles on your pizza. Weird. Otherwise, it’d be a pretty decent pizza.

6

I’m not sure why one unfamiliar with provel wouldn’t think it’s cheddar, since it’s yellow, tastes like cheddar, and is 1/3rd cheddar.

-FrL-

7

“The Square beyond compare” is a bit of an acquired taste- but it is hardly the worst ting you have ever had in your mouth. While there is certainly better pizza, and I wouldn’t want Imo’s all the time- it is a nice change of pace. I enjoyed an Imo’s lunch special yesterday.

I was going to suggest going to Ted Drewe’s to get some frozen custard, but it appears they are closed for the season.

8

Well, there’s your problem right there, pal. You gotta get the sausage and mushroom when you go to Imo’s…that’s the good stuff. Oh yeah.

9

:stuck_out_tongue: Oh reallly?

Pray do tell what other disgusting objects I have put into my mouth? :wink:

-FrL-

10

I worked at Imo’s all throughout high school.

Few things:

Every Imo’s is independently owned and operated. I’ve eaten at about ten of them, they all were noticeably different. I worked at two in the same area and those were waaaay different in the cheese they ordered (one ordered cheaper cheese and it tasted kinda crappy compared to the other one) and the way they prepared their food because the owners were different. If you just really hate provel it doesn’t matter though.

Provel cheese is fucking delicious. :slight_smile: It is way better on cheese bread and red sauce pasta and stuff because it has more flavor than plain mozzarella.

Provel is a mixture of swiss, provolone and cheddar. It is a cheese meant to not be all stringy so when you bite your pizza the whole damn top doesn’t come off with it. And it cuts well too, your square of pizza shouldn’t be stuck with cheese strings to another.

My specialty pizza I made for people when I worked there was pepperoni, bacon (strips not chunks or bits damnit), and mixed cheese - used provel with a bit of mozzarella mixed in. Well done too.

My dad regifted a pizza in a can gift to me (sauce, seasoning and crust mix) and I brought it down to Columbia with me this week - I brought my own provel because it’s either hard or impossible to find here. Made a damn good turkey pepperoni pizza.

11

And the pepperoni is supposed to be under the cheese so they don’t curl up and get gross. We only put bacon, pineapple and sardines on top pretty much. Sauce, most toppings, cheese, “sprinkle” which is romano and something I forget but it’s 100% necessary.

12

I’m with you Frylock. I was so offended, that I nearly returned it for my money back. Provel is not cheese, and I can guarantee a product that actually contained the cheeses in the proportions they claim would taste just fine. Provel is a liquid goo that tastes like petroleum products. It tastes worse than Kraft Singles.

Not to mention that the people at Imo’s have no clue about how to make a pizza with something other than tomato sauce. I asked for a bacon, onion and BBQ pizza and they left the sauce off completely putting the BBQ sauce on top.

13

I absolutely agree. Imo’s is what people at work like to order for lunch meetings; I bring a sandwich.

14

:eek: For the love of all that is holy, please tell me you don’t put those on the same pizza.

15

You learn something new every day. I’d heard of New York, Chicago, and California style pizzas but I never knew there was such a thing as a St Louis style pizza.

16

I am sure when you were a toddler you put something much more disgusting than Imo’s St Louis style pizza in your mouth. Well, unless it was any pizza with sardines or even worse, anchovies.

Oh, and next time try Fortel’s Pizza Den.

17

There isn’t. There is an abomination that calls itself pizza, but it really isn’t.

California pizza is a weird beast. Chicago pizza is a mutation, but quite good sometimes. But if it isn’t made in New York, in a coal-fired oven, and you fold it when you eat it, it ain’t PIZZA! It’s the only reason New York is allowed to exist at all. Well, that and deli food.

18

Provel cheese is actually white and it is only 1/3 cheddar and it doesn’t taste anything like cheddar (to me, obviously.)

19

Provel cheese doesn’t taste anything like cheese, you mean.

Imo’s pizza is an abomination unto The Lord. And I’m not too sure about people who claim to like it… narrows eyes

But Ted Drewe’s should be open at their Chippewa location year-round; it’s the Grand location that closes seasonally. Unless it’s still a Christmas tree lot, I guess.

20

Ok, I can’t be the only one; otherwise Imo’s would not exist. I also happen to like sardines and anchovies.

Isn’t there even one other person out there that likes Imo’s?