Impudent Fool! (aka Your Favorite Corny Villainisms)

Just for clarity, this is hopefully to be the basis of a canonical list of hammy or otherwise painfully corny stock utterances of the stereotypical villains that populate spy flicks, monster horrors, sci-fi, and the like.

The title is a good example. “No, Mr. Bond. I expect you do die.”, for instance, while a being a magnificently corny evil genius quote, perhaps the greatest ever, is not overused. In fact, outside of Austin Powers parody, only one arch-villain has ever used it, and so it fails the true cliche criterion pretty badly.

To not hog the thread, just a couple more faves, and then I’ll turn it over to you:

That is none of your concern! - How many freaking times has a baddie shut down a line of questioning by a subordinate or a captured protagonist with that tired rejoinder? The number must now be in the millions.

I will enjoy watching you die! - The last film I can remember trotting out this well-worn expression of sadism was The Matrix, but some close paraphrasing of this sentiment of extreme schadenfreude has come back like a bad penny many times before.

What are your faves?

“Now, let me explain the entire evil plan to you.” (or words to that effect).

One meeel-ion dollars!

And the villainism that trumps them all:
I’m not a Republic serial villain. Do you really think I’d tell you my plan if you had the slightest chance of stopping it? I did it thirty-five minutes ago.

Or just “I did it thirty-five minutes ago”

The clap.

The clap occurs when the hero has already fought his way through a gauntlet of baddies and finally arrives at the top of the fortress/laboratory/penthouse/office building to finally confront the boss villain. After arriving in the room (or sometimes when the hero turns around after having dispatched his last henchman) the boss baddie claps with mock applause and congratulations. He will then say something like “Well done, Mr. Stone. It seems I underestimated you. What a shame you have to die.”

The snap.

The villain, a cold, intelligent type, has easily outthought all the hero’s attacks so far, perhaps even for many years. However, when confronted with the final attack, it is of such surprise or magnitude that he snaps, the mask of civility and intelligence falls, and he either becomes a) incredibly angry, or b) incredibly scared, both rendering him pretty ineffective.

The classic, of course: “Curses, foiled again!”

I think “Prepare to die!” is pretty common, although I’m not sure.

“Puny mortal!”

“I will crush you!”




at me! They laughed at me at Cambidge, in Vienna, at the Sorbonne! But I’ll show them! I’ll show them all!!


Also, “The clap” is a great call, Dio.

I’ve got a one-shot roleplaying game adventure that I’m polishing for running at conventions; it’s set in the 1930s, in a pulp universe full of mobsters and Nazis. I realized while I ran it the first time that I desperately need to create a list of villainisms: the bad guys need to have things to shout out during the game to make them more killable, but I am totally incapable of thinking of good ones on the spur of the moment.

I’ll be mining this thread!

ve haff vays uff making you talk!


Can you kill me without becoming a monster yourself? (or something to that effect)

“You don’t have the guts!”

Killing a henchman who failed.

Extra points when he does this at a time when it would make more sense to kill the hero, who’s standing right there.

You shall all perish for youe insolence!

BLAST IT! Blast it to Oblivion!

I had you in my cluthes, <insert hero’s name here>, my old friend…victory was mine! But I’ll be back–[sub]oh yeeesss[/sub]…I’ll be back!!

You’ll pay for this insult with your life!

FOOLS! I’ll destroy them all!

Nothing you can do will stop me! NOTHING!

Dude, did you read the OP? Loopy specifically disqualified lines that were only uttered once, or very infrequently. He’s looking for cliches.

“Guards! Guards! Seize him!”

“Pity, I was going to offer you a place in my organization…”

“You’ll never escape.”


“Yeah, and it would have worked too, if it wasn’t for you meddling kids!”


“I want him alive.”

“Resistance is useless.”

If you talk now, I can promise you a quick death.


I love that one. I say it to my wife. Works about as well for me as it does for the super-villains.

Mad?? Mad, am I???