THAT is the funniest goddamn thing I’ve read in a long time. I’m using it somewhere.
Do they even have cabana boys in Middle-Earth?
Blue, none of the trashy romance novels I’ve ever read have been quite that, um, explicit, even when they’re being explicit. “His veined sceptre of love probed the depths of her womanliness”, more like that.
Hee! Womanliness. So funny.
Back from the hospital pre-registration, which was a lot of, “Well, you have midwives, so you’ve probably been told all of this already…”. Basically the nurse said that the hospital staff are support workers for the midwives, and probably I won’t see any of them. And I can have soft lighting, showers, birthing ball, maybe jacuzzi, music- just no aromatherapy, please, because some people are allergic.
And went to the stove repair place, where they told me the element is fine, it’s something wrong with the stove itself. Dammit. Off to call the landlady.
Birthing ball? Excuse me if I show my age here (having given birth to my children, clearly, back in the dark ages), but what’s a birthing ball? The mind boggles. :eek:
It would be one of these I’m guessing. li-li will have to tell us what it does. 
Well, I am hacked off. I got the jersey I won on e-bay today, and no friggin’ way is it a game worn jersey. It doesn’t have a fight strap and it is much too small to fit goalie pads under it. I am taking it to the Snakes office Friday to get our Coach to look at it, then I am protesting the auction. I am furious.
We got pitted - did anyone else see it? guano_lad said he was sick of seeing the Monday Morning Post threads. I am so sorry for him. Not.
Where is this alleged pitting? Did I miss something good?
Get 'em good!
FCM, it’s in the mini rants thread. I suspect it’s this week’s dueling threads that drew his ire.
I got back from my dermatology appointment. The good news is that I’m skin cancer free, the bad news is that I need to start using a new moisturizer with a higher SPF. I also got my lab work done, since I had time. 5 tubes of blood in assorted colors. The tubes, not the blood.
For your amusement, Extreme! Knitting! Needles!. They go up to 32 inches long! :eek:
I just want to say I hate you all.
::Kicks dirt and walks home alone ::
Good to hear, Shadow. No dying!
Oh, shush. I helped the other, cooler MMP, but we got clipped.
But we have hot pie! And apple sex!
Er… that doesn’t sound right.
Hot apples!!!
Pie sex!!!
Much better.
Mmmm. Pie sex.
As I understand it, a birthing ball is the same as a Pilates or exercise ball. Sitting on it improves your core tone (because you have to work your core muscles to stay upright) and is very very very helpful during contractions in labour.
Also, she said that in her experience, women with midwives have many fewer interventions than ones who have O.Bs, and don’t tend to need pain medication. I’ve read that a few places, but it’s nice to have it backed up by a real live nurse at the hospital.
The explanations I’ve read for the lack of epidurals say that the more emotional support and reassurance women get during labour, the more they relax. Which means they don’t tense up, labour goes faster, and they get more endorphins, which mean they can deal better with the pain. So having a doctor you don’t know shouting “Push!” at you while there are bright lights in your eyes and you’re on your back is pretty much the worst way to give birth.
Anyway. It’s all very interesting to me right now. 
I’m pretty sure they didn’t do epidurals, either, when MT was having babies. Heh heh. The horror stories I have heard about my Dark Ages birth…don’t worry, they won’t be doing that stuff to you, and you should be grateful!
I’m here, it’s just that work has been extra exhausting; we lost ANOTHER person and now there’s me, a retired friend of my aunt who is working for her as a favor, and my aunt. Next week should have been super busy what with Thanksgiving, but we’re not going to be able to take nearly as many dogs as normal because of the lack of help. We’re not even going to be open this Friday! (Yay, three day weekend!..boo, the reasons!) We’d better get some more help quick. I’m not going anywhere, but I can only do so much. Bathing dogs is tiiiiiiring, and while I’ll do it, my energy would better be used elsewhere in the shop. We’ll make it, but it’s going to be rough for awhile, I think. Hopefully the ad in Friday’s paper will do the trick (the paper only comes out twice a week, this is a small town!).
So, is comedic erotica an established genre? If not, it should be.
I have to say this MMP is not living up to the “depressing” label. I was laughing out loud a few minutes ago.
Washing dogs is sounding good right about now. If I didn’t need to pay a mortgage, etc. I’d fly out there to help you out.
Sorry, bbs2K, we don’t do hate here. ::Hugs bbs2k and hands him pie:: 
That stinks about the jersey, SCL. Hope that can be resolved.
How’d work go, PurpleOne? Are you down an employee? The layoffs sound rotten, BTW.
Picture of the ring sling, LiLi? Sorry about the oven issues. Hope that gets fixed quickly. Your landlady does know about your compulsive baking, right?
Another vote in favor of the vampire story line, rigs. And, of course she must survive. For a while at least.
There’s more I should say, I’m sure, but I need to do some of the cleaning I didn’t do yesterday. I was a good girl and paid off my Kohl’s bill and went to Wild Oats (soon to be a Whole Foods, apparently - they had a “Whole Foods store in training” sign on the door the other day). Some Whole Foods branded foods are starting to show up. I’m hoping they won’t get rid of my favorite bread; it’s from a little European bakery in northern Ohio and it’s not like any other bread I’ve been able to find around here. Now I just need to do some cleaning and organizing and stuff…
Back later.
GT
I come home and open the mail, la la la, is that a check? Why do I have a check? Payday’s not until Thursday. But yes, it is my paycheck. I expected it to arrive Thursday/Friday. 
(It takes a couple of pay cycles to get direct deposit set up.)
I’m on call for jury duty this week. It looks like I have to check in between noon and 1 pm tomorrow. Given how many people have to check in during the morning, I’m thinking they’ll have a full jury pool by noon. Does anyone else get summoned annually for jury duty or am I just lucky?
LOUNE, are you volunteering for the position??
Rigs, I say continue on with hot vampire sex. I read a book a while ago that dealt with something like that…I can’t remember the name of the title though, the author was Gena Showalter, and it was actually quite a descriptive book :eek: , which I wasn’t expecting when I bought it at Borders, lol.
Holy crap, why wasn’t I sold on this?
Sex? No.
Hot pie? No.
Hot vampire sex? Praise be to Gawd and the man named Jesus!
Well, I compromised as she was previously warned. I cut her hours down to two days a week from five. It’s quite a drastic cut, but was necessary. Truthfully, it’s hard to justify even those hours, but she is my mentor and this was a very difficult decision.