Because saying “weenie” makes elementary school kids giggle. That, plus the delightful mental image of someone with a funny name biting said weenie.
I heard:
Hitler has only got one ball.
Goering has two, but they are small.
Himmler has something similar.
And Goebbels has no balls at all.
In the 1970s in England we sang (to the same tune noted in Wikipedia):
In the German nick
Where they hang you by the dick
And the German halls
Where you hang you by the balls.*
*Slang for prison.
We used to sing it:
*From the Land of Mars
Where the lady smokes cigars
Every puff she takes
is enough to kill a snake
When the snake has died
they put diamonds in its eyes
When the diamonds shine
It is 1999
*
We also liked:
*Deck the Hall with gasoline
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Light a match and watch it gleam
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Burn the school down to ashes
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
Aren’t you glad you’ve played with matches
Fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la
*
Joy to the World,
the school burned down
And all the teachers died
What happened to the principal
She’s hanging from the flagpole
With a rope around her neck
with a rope around her neck
With a rope a rope around her neck
Viscious little brats, weren’t we? There are probably more, but those are the only ones I can recall at the moment.
I get a kick out of seeing all the different years the song is associated with. This one must be the Prince variant.
Guinastasia, we had:
Joy to the world
the teachers dead!
We bar-bee-cued her head!
but what about the body?
we flushed it down the potty
and watched swirl round
and watched it swirl round
and wa-ha-ha-whatced it go on down!
As to the OP, we had:
There’s a place in france
where the naked ladies dance
There’s a hole in the wall
where the kids can see it all!
Florida elementary school 1980’s
We had:
Joy to the world
the school burned down
and all the teachers too!
We’re looking for the janitor,
he’s sliding down the bannister
with a broomstick up his nose,
with a broomstick up his nose,
with a broo-hoo-hoo-hoo-om stick up his nose!
(“Nose” was sometimes changed to “ass.”)
There was also the Battle Hymn of the Republic Opus:
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school,
we have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule.
We have drowned the principal in the school swimming pool,
and we don’t go to school anymore.
The “Glory, Glory” chorus had an infinite number of variations, but all started with
Glory, glory hallelujah,
teacher hit me with a ruler…
Then some psycopathically violent couplet would follow describing some kind of assault on or murder of the teacher, such as
I met her at the door
with a loaded .44.
As I said, there were countless variations of that middle bit.
And the last line was always:
…and she ain’t my teacher no more.
It occurs to me that in the era of school shootings, some of these songs might seem horrifying, but no one ever thought anything about them back then.
I heard that one about Barney.
Heard this exactly as written as a kid in the early '70s. Learned it at camp.
Turns out that my brother also heard a version at camp. His went something like
There’s a place in France
where the naked ladies dance
There’s a hole in the wall
where the men can see them all
There’s a log in the hole
so they have to pay the toll.
Minnesota, late 1970’s.
There’s a place in France
here the ladies wear no pants.
And the dance they do
Would constipate a Jew.
Mine eyes have seen the glory of the burning of the school
We have tortured every teacher, we have broken every rule
We have crucified the principal and flushed him down the stool
Our cause is marching on
There’s a place downtown
Where the freaks all come around
It’s a hole in the wall
It’s a dirty free-for-all
And they turn me on
When they take it off
When they take it off
Everybody take it off
My version, early 60’s:
There’s a place called Mars
Where the women smoke cigars,
But the men don’t care
Cause they chew their underwear.
We also had a song 'I Hate Bosco"
I hate Bosco
Bosco ain’t for me
Momma put it in my milk to try to poison me
But I fooled momma
I put it in her tea
Now I got no Momma
(last line, 2 variants, my sister and I remember it differently)
either: But Daddy’s mad at me or To try to poison me
I know I’m a lot late here, but the version I heard is:
On the planet Mars,
where the babies smoke cigars,
and the girls from France,
do the hula hula dance,
every step they take,
is enough to kill a snake,
when the snake is dead,
they put monsters on its head,
when the monsters die,
they put diamonds in their eyes,
when the diamonds break,
it’s past 1948.
Kids that I babysit from my old elementary school still sing it, but I have no idea where it originated from.
I’ve heard of this! We use to sing “On the planet of mars, where the ladies smoke cigar. And the men wear bikinis and the babies drink martinis. Every step I take is enough to kill a snake. When the snake is dead, they put mustard on his head. When the mustard dry, they put diamonds in his eyes. When the diamonds burst it is (we’d say the current yr… I think).
I heard it on The Simpsons, I think.
SE Wisconsin late 60’s
There’s a place in France
Where the women wear no pants
But the men don’t care
‘Cause they’re all running bare!
Hi ho, hi ho
It’s off to school we go
We’ll do some junk and then we’ll flunk
Hi ho hi ho
I owe I owe
So off to work I go
I’ll do some shit
And then I’ll quit
But I owe, and owe
Hitler has only got one ball.
Goering has two, but they are small.
Himmler is somewhat sim’lar.
And Goebbels hasn’t got any at all.