I just found out that Abdul Abulbul Amir has an obscene version. I’ve always loved that old ditty.
Our version:
I hate Bosco, it’s made of TNT
My mamma puts it in my milk to try and poison me
One day I played a trick on her, I put it in her tea
Now I have no mamma to try and poison me.
Also:
Alouette, smoke a cigaretta
Chew tobacco, spit it on the floor.
And:
I think I’ll join the CIO
'Cause everyone I see I owe.
And (tune of “Toreadors”):
Oh Theodora, don’t spit on the floor-a
Use the cuspidor-a, that’s what it’s a-for-a.
Sorry if this was answered already but I think the original poster’s song is a parody sung to the tune of Rasputin by Boney M. I remember singing it when I played a coleco vision game as a kid. No idea where it originated
Ironically, in the original song, that particular tune has no lyrics to it
Mars has very little air, so how could you even smoke a cigar if you’re wearing a helmet?!
The “snake charmer music” is, I assume, what Wikipedia calls the “Arabian riff,” and it dates back to the nineteenth century.
We sang it thusly in the early '60s:
There’s a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance,
And the dance they do
Is enough to kill a Jew,
And the Jew they kill
Is enough to take a pill.
And the pill they take
Is enough to fry a snake.
And the snake they fry
Is enough to tell a lie.
And the lie they tell
Is enough to go to
Don da-da-don-don, don-don!
(The last line, of course, is to “Shave and a haircut”.)
I think “They say that in the Army…” was more popular, though.
My sister knew a poem (not a song) that started “Two Irishmen, two Irishmen / Were digging in a ditch”, but I don’t remember all the words – anybody know that one?
I finally found it. You are right. Quite similar to Rasputin though
I sang the same as @SCAdian except the first 2 lines were “all the girls in France do the hootchie kootchid dance”
Anyone remember a song about Dan, the Kaibo man, chief inspector of the kaibo clan?
The version of my best friend in elementary school:
There’s a place in France
where the women wear no pants,
and the men wear bikinis,
and the women suck their weenies.
My mother’s version:
and the men walk ‘round
with their dickies hangin’ down.
Other ditties:
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man,
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man,
I love to go swimmin’
with bare-naked women,
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man!
I’m Popeye the Garbage Man,
I live in a garbage can!
I eat all the worms
and I spit out the germs,
I’m Popeye the Garbage Man!
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man,
I live in a frying pan!
You turn on the gas,
and I’ll burn off my ass!
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man!
Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat, little turdy-birdie feet.
Great big gobs of vomit rollin’ down the street,
and me without my spoon!
Comet,
it makes your eyes turn green!
Comet,
it tastes like gasoline!
Comet
will make you vomit!
So get some Comet
and vomit,
today!
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man,
I live in a frying pan!
I turned on the gas,
and I burned my ass!
I’m Popeye the Sailor Man!
Great big gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts,
mutilated monkey meat, itty-bitty birdie feet.
French-fried eyeballs floating in a pool of blood
and I forgot my spoon!
Comet,
it makes your mouth turn green!
Comet,
it tastes like Listerine!
Comet
it makes you vomit!
So buy some Comet
and vomit,
today!
We sang the Battle Hymn of the Republic one about burning down the school (we bopped her on the beam with a rotten tangerine), and the Bosco one (it always ended with “and now there’s no more mommy to try and poison me.”).
The ladies in France one sounds only vaguely familiar. We didn’t sing it, so I probably saw it on TV. I was in elementary school from 1956-64.
ETA: I see in the Wiki article that the ladies in France song was played on Dr. Demento. That’s probably where I heard it.
And it famously appears in the old favorite Bonaparte’s Retreat. FF to about 0.46.
Intersperse with your favorite dirty limericks:
Ai-yi-yi-yi, your mother does squat thrusts on fireplugs!
So give me a new verse that’s worse than the first,
and whip me around by my willie!
Ai-yi-yi-yi, your mother swims after troopships!
So give me a new verse that’s worse than the first,
and whip me around by my willie!
Ai-yi-yi-yi, the troopships rejected your mother!
So give me a new verse that’s worse than the first,
and whip me around by my willie!
Ai-yi-yi-yi, your grandma licks batshit off cave walls!
So give me a new verse that’s worse than the first,
and whip me around by my willie!
The version that I grew up with:
Great green globs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat
Concentrated turkey feet
One quart can of all-purpose porpoise pus
Smothered in pink lemonade
Great green gobs of greasy, grimy gopher guts
Mutilated monkey meat, itty-bitty birdie feet
All mixed up with vegetative vulture vomit
Swimming in eyeball soup
Innnnn eyyyeballllll sooooooup
Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts,
Mutilated monkey feet, chopped up baby parakeets,
French fried eyeballs swimming in a pool of blood,
And here I sit without my spoon.
There’s a place in France
where the women wear no pants,
and the men don’t care
'cause they wear no underwear.
And the dance they do-ooo
is the hula-hula-hooo.
There’s a place in France
where the women wear no pants.
Ho-hum, ho-hum,
it’s home from work we come!
With a rum-tum-tum,
stick it up your bum!
Ho-hum, ho-hum!
Glory, glory, hallelujah,
teacher hit me with a ruler.
Shot her with a six-shooter,
I’ll never go to school again!