Seems like the SDMB has been getting an influx of wannabebanneds lately. Some social retard will come on here, post something he hopes will shock people, get his attention fix, and get banned.
I’m thinking what motivates these wankers is the age-old scenario of the country bumpkin at the high society ball…the bumpkin says or does something that’s a faux pas, and gets gasps and swoons and expressions like “My Word!”, “Well I never!” etc from the dowdy matrons present. The bumpkin therefore becomes the hero/martyr to the commonfolk for leaving the figurative turd in the punchbowl.
Now we’re not necessarily rich, priveleged bluebloods here at the Straight Dope, but we do tend to think of ourselves as the more intelligent members of society. Instead of richness of income, we have richness of vocabulary and style. To the 51 Cents and Questions of this world, we ARE those poofy snobs at high society balls.
So what happens is Social Retard X grabs his weinie with one hand and posts on SDMB with the other. As he’s yanking away, he thinks “Hah! This oughta shock 'em! They think they’re so cool. This’ll show 'em!” He expects to get back the swoons and gasps, but what he gets instead is “Ho hum, is school out already?” Those who bother replying to his post see right through his desperate cry for attention and call him out on it. Social Retard X gets angry. This wasn’t the reaction he wanted. He tries harder, despite getting picked further apart by other posters in the process. He still keeps it up until a mod slaps him down.
At thispoint, Social Retard X does one or more of these:
He brags to other message boards about how the SDMB couldn’t handle him because they’re all a bunch of pussies.
He whines and complains to other message boards how mean and oppressive SDMB is.
He plots his revenge and comes up with other aliases, like 51 Cents’s 15 socks that nobody remembers, so he can lure the SDMB fools into his trap and lay that turd in their punchbowl again. That’ll show them.
So I say we conduct an experiment. Let’s try giving Social Retard X a fake orgasm. Next time he puts up a “I kill puppies. NOTICE ME!” type post, let’s respond with “Why you CRIMINAL! You MURDERER! Don’t you know that’s BAD??? Why, I’m going to organize a prayer circle and write a letter to the Editor RIGHT NOW!” Maybe he’ll get embarrassed and realize how pathetic he is and slink away into the darkness. Yes, it’s feeding the troll, but it’s what we usually do anyway when we tell Social Retard X to shut his pie hole.
Why does it matter if he goes away and makes false assertions about the SDMB?
Really, the best thing we could do would be to ignore obvious trolls, report them to a mod and stand back while their posting privileges are quietly and unceremoniously revoked.
They are looking for attention - ANY kind of attention - the best hope we have of them going away and not returning is to refrain from feeding them.
Let’s say Social Retard X (to coin the OP’s phrase) goes and posts bad stuff about the SDMB on another message board. I see three possible responses:
1.) Someone reading that thinks, “Well, if they suck then I’m not going there.” No skin off our collective nose.
2.) Someone reading that thinks, “Hey, this might be a fun place to troll.” So s/he comes here, trolls around for a while, eventually gets found out and banned. Happens all the time.
3.) Someone reading that thinks, “I better go check this out.” S/he comes here, finds it to his/her liking, gets some ignorance squashed, and contributes to future discussions in a meaningful, positive way.
One way or another, the new member is no different than any other memeber.
Nice post Knowed Out. Trolls really hate getting name checked in rants and positively squirm with embarrassment when people sit up and take notice of them. They’re shy creatures that don’t want any fuss and like to slink in and out of a message board practically unnoticed. And pretending to be outraged at them? Why, I imagine that would totally ruin their day. See, trolls have a high degree of social skills and would be totally mortified if anyone thought they were being pathetic or anything. The inevitable self-realisation that they actually were being pathetic could even prove to be fatal.
The mods policy of quietly removing their odious presence so that they depart un-noticed, unremarked and unlamented is obviously playing straight into their hands.
You haven’t read many of these kinds of threads if you don’t think a some people don’t do this already - not “experimentally,” but quite sincerely, because they themselves haven’t been around long enough to recognize the troll modus operandi, or can’t resist responding to something they find particularly offensive. (And then there are also certain offenderati that take umbrage even at non-trolls that have inadvertently or clumsily touched on a hot button.)
Trolls are generally not too bright to begin with, and are not going to recognize sarcasm.
The best thing to do if you think someone is trolling is to use the “report this post to a moderator” button (and don’t even reply to mention you have done so). Anything else is just counterproductive.
I’m fully aware of the policy on handling trolls. I just thought it might be fun to try something different on them every once in a while.
Like when a kid starts screaming and acting up in school, and the teacher tells the class, “OK everybody, let’s all be quiet and give Johnny your undivided attention.” Johnny gets embarrassed and shuts up.
