In this life

[Pixiesnix]

GMRyujin, I’m going to give you the choice I never had…

jjimm, (apologies if I got your name wrong), stop posting jokes like that, you’re making me fall in love with you.

I really don’t have anything else to say, except that the OP is even funnier if you read it with Professor Frink’s voice in your head.

[Doomtrain]

*Originally posted by ratty *
**You know, the minute I first read the OP, I thought, “Oh shit. 14-year-old Anne Rice fan. God save us.”

Good to know somebody else was on that wavelength. **

Oh, yea, I had some of that myself, only I was about 15 or 16. I kid because I love. Well, not the OP, who seems to have taken his ball and gone home to cry to momma. But this has to be the most fun I’ve had in a thread.

[3trew]

*Originally posted by GMRyujin *
**Ladies and gentlemen of this thread, may I have your attention please? While we’re all sitting around sipping absinthe and wallowing in our angst, I have an announcement to make…

I’m flesh and blood, but not human. I haven’t been human for two hundred years. 1791 was the year it happened… **

Well, it explains the username.

Ghastly Malific Revenant, youth undying, journeying in night.

I’ve always suspected something like that.

[Doomtrain]

I thought the porn one was funny, but I think running it through the Jar-Jargonizer is funnier:

Well, Mee-sa’ve tired of being like this. One long moment spent with thoughts drift’in turns to months of things naught, of ideas retoola, broken, recombobulata, shattera an’ reforma like hand kick batt-a turns to months of despair’in hope for the future of my life. My life? Such joke it , many laugh when Mee-sa tell it, even without okiday punchline. an’ punchline, for mee-sa? Even maxi-big laughs, maybe few haws, then ravenous vulture eyes peer’in from the crowd. They’re hungry, an’ aft-a mee-sa. Why? What do Mee-sa do to them?

Noth’in, of course. Such the nature of the beast, now starva into Forev-a-Sleep, lick’in mee-sa with its hot cold sour breath. This demon no real, it only lives in our heads, an’ occasionly kicks out, ravenous, stuck in the monotone of average human’s mind. Noth’in to feed it, you-sa see. All the minds rot, an’ that’s the riot. Teenage rot, teenage riot, old man riot, old man rot, it’s all the same when you-sa’re all the same. The same, trappa in the cours’in game of life. Why? Who knows. How long? Too long. Much too long.

In this life Mee-sa’ve lived too long an’ produca too little important, releasa too many negative emotions, releasa too many noxious gasses, releasa too many wild hounds that Mee-sa call my friends onto innocents. Mee-sa error, Mee-sa fate unto the common man, Mee-sa you-sa, an’ who you-sa? You-sa’re noth’in, like mee-sa. Shadows. Shadows act’in as beings. That’s who wee-sa , what , an’ what wee-sa’ll die into an’ de-evolve to, eventually, in our subjective view. Wee-sa bulid the light an’ the cities, an’ wee-sa still remain shadows. What memory remain but shadows when space travel-as come to this spinn’in globe?

My brain, this function, rewira an’ hotblocka, dysfunctiona. My sentiments come out as obfuscata, garbla silent beacons of madness. Clarity lies in my feet, thanks to my mind. Mee-sa cannot write with such mongrels of the human function, such common-as an’ labor-as, they below us. They may be the infrastructure, but they still shame us. Mee-sa need help. Won’‘t you-sa give it to mee-sa, give it to mee-sa? No, don-nuh help mee-sa. Mee-sa’ll stumble to it, Mee-sa’ll mumble doin’ it, but Mee-sa’ll find way to to do it. Not much choice any oth-a way, my friends an’ shadows.

Myself can be turna an’ dissecta, but okiday that do? Dissection no solution, nor it doo-doo, thankfully. It might be middle ground, if such thing exists. Middle ground for surely rare indea, when even the nice/okiday Gungans extremists towards their system of ideals. Ideals. Such silly concepts, to try to live up to extemist’s extremes, for that what they . Noth’in but false hopes an’ ridicoulous demands to place on anybody. It’s wond-a Gungans stillexist with ideals shova down our throats daily. Mee-sa’m still stand’in, barely.

Mee-sa cannot do anyth’in to change the course. Try as Mee-sa might, argue as much as Mee-sa myself to do, Mee-sa can’t do noth’in but wait for the change to erode itself into the things need’in changa. Things… They leave my mind like train speed’in past, naught but blur, but hit mee-sa like one when Mee-sa let my guard down. What to do? What to do? Noth’in, Mee-sa guess. Naught. Mee-sa’m cry’in now, an’ it’s for all of our sakes. Mee-sa don-nuh know why. Maybe it’s because of this nightmare life has become, with everyth’in skewa an’ shifte to top an’ bottom, right an’ left, in circular motion an’ locomotion. Oh, in this life… Noth’in.

So far at least. Maybe next time… Some place nic-a. Where Mee-sa can live for real, not be shadow of person.

Why not?

Someday.

http://www.hit-n-run.com/jarjar.html

[Doomtrain]

*Originally posted by 2trew *
**Well, it explains the username.

Ghastly Malific Revenant, youth undying, journeying in night.

I’ve always suspected something like that. **

Danzig? Is that you?

[3trew]

Hey, it’s a first draft. I haven’t decided if it should be a Black Metal song or a haiku, but I promise to cut you in on half the profits.

I blame a recent foray into my lost youth of White Wolf products, Cure albums, and cheap vodka.

[EllisDee]

Dammit, how did I miss this post last night? I miss out on all the fun. I think I peed a little when I got to the psalm 23 pornalizer hell train.

*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu *
Nothing makes you look more like a failure than trying to commit suicide and failing. Except failing more than once, of course

There is nothing in life that can’t be helped by a little Zappa. From memory:

Suicide Chump, by Frank Zappa

You say there aint no use to livin’
It’s all a waste of time
So you wanna throw your life away
Well people that’s just fine

Go on and get it over with then
Find you a bridge and take a jump
Just make sure you do it right the first time
Cause nothing’s worse than a suicide chump

Now maybe you’re afraid of jumpin’
And poison makes you sick
And you want a little attention
And you need it pretty quick
Don’t wanna mess your face up
Cause we won’t know if it’s you
Oh there’s just so much to worry about
So what you gonna do?

[paulberserker]

I read the OP in a Morrissey voice.
Damn, I thought the pornalizer was too funny, but the jar-jargonizer is the tits. poor Kurdt, he hasnt posted since yesterday.

I wonder if its because now he’s bored and old. aging 2 years in a month anyways.

My inner soul cries out, out across the void to the universal possibilty of like minded lost souls in the blackness, who will here the call and come to me, and my confused Matrix analysing arse.

and that explanation of ‘hand kick batter’ makes fuck all sense too. is he on about wanking or what?

thats Springsteen yo. I’m all out of bible qoutes.

[Tir_Tinuviel]

*Originally posted by Kurdt Kobain *
**This isn’t no matrix BS, this is real. **

excellent, can I get a prediction on the next baseball game?

[Doomtrain]

*Originally posted by 2trew *
**Hey, it’s a first draft. I haven’t decided if it should be a Black Metal song or a haiku, but I promise to cut you in on half the profits.

I blame a recent foray into my lost youth of White Wolf products, Cure albums, and cheap vodka. **

Scream of the GMRyujin! Rawk on!

Man, I’m going to have to watch The Crow and Interview with the Vampire and dig out my Vampire: The Masquerade stuff.

[Aslan_of_Narnia]

Guys, I think Kurdt is about to break TO THE EXTREME! And then we’ll need to wake him up, wake him up inside. It’s a downward spiral, I’ll tell ya.

[Doomtrain]

It’s cause he’s on the outside, he’s looking in, he can see through us, see our true colors…

[paulberserker]

wasn’t the reason the real Kurt Cobain smacked himself out of existence (or got murdered by Courtney, or whatever) to stop teenage crap like the OP being written?
the man must be rotating like a high power lathe in the grave at this thread!

“and in the EEEENNNNDDDDD, it DOENST REEEEEALLLY MAAAAATTTERRRRR!”

[Lord_Ashtar]

With the lights out, it’s less dangerous. Here we are, Kurdt. Entertain us.

[Hot_Buttered_Toast]

Life is a game that no one wins, but Kurdt deserves a headstart the way this thread’s going.

[Pabitel]

*Originally posted by GMRyujin *
**Ladies and gentlemen of this thread, may I have your attention please? While we’re all sitting around sipping absinthe and wallowing in our angst, I have an announcement to make…

I’m flesh and blood, but not human. I haven’t been human for two hundred years. 1791 was the year it happened… **

So what are you saying exactly, you’ve gone republican?

[Colophon]

How’d I miss this thread? I’ve been sat here laughing like a loon for the past 20 minutes, and will now probably get sacked.

But it was worth it.

[Doomtrain]

*Originally posted by Degrance *
**So what are you saying exactly, you’ve gone republican? **

Why are you liberals so full of hate? Just because your boyfriend Saddam got caught is no reason to get mad at a God-fearing American like me.

Warning! Warning! The Above Is A Joke!