In which an Anonymous Note Isn't Anonymous

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Miss_Woodhouse

I hate it when people do crap like that. Around here all the guys with their Ford Compensator and Dodge Magnum duelys like to take up four spaces in parking lots. It’s not enough to prevent people from parking beside their lovely “rig,” they have to pull forward so no one can park in the two spaces opposite either.

I’d put a note on their trucks if I could reach the windshield.

Just superglue it to the door.

[Sailboat]

@Cluricaun

What do you call it when someone parks horizontally across three or more spaces? There’s some tool in my building that does that with his 95 Caddy with giant gold rims and one of those color changing paint jobs.

Look, you don’t want no trouble. Don’t be messin’ with no pimp.

[Audrey_Levins]

@Heffalump_and_Roo

Huh. One might think that given the state of your dress, the time of the night, the physical state you were in (headache from drink and cold and tired) and your mental and emotional state, you might have considered yourself fortunate the next day that there was no negative response. I can think of some negative responses that would end very unpleasantly for you. There were very few negative responses that would have ended happily for you.
As people have noted, it might just have been coincidence having to do with the dog or something else.

You sound a lot like my mom. Which is why I haven’t told her this story, because she would undoubtedly say the same thing. “You should know better than that Audrey!”

And I’m ashamed to say that it did not occur to me til this thread that the most innocent explanation is that the guy was walking his dog.

I still maintain he was an ass, though, and I’m not sorry I did it.

(Now I sound like a five year old.)

[Anne_Neville]

As long as a chainsaw was not involved, you could have handled this situation worse.

[saoirse]

Much as I disapprove of vandalism, I did get a chuckle out of a bumper sticker I saw once. It was reflective yellow, with black letters and on the left side it said “I don’t know how to park.” On the right side it had a little driver’s manual-type illustration of a car parked diagonally across two spaces. The bumper sticker was scored at either end, like someone had not had much luck scraping it off with a razor.

[steronz]

I’m not sure if anyone has brought up the notion that if the parking lot was really full, and he hadn’t been straddling the line, someone else would have probably taken that space long before. He may have been responsible for reducing the number of spaces in the lot by 1, but that most likely means that some other shmuck would have been spared the trouble of hoofing it from far away, and when you showed up the lot would have just appeared full.

[rivulus]

@mhendo

The tools who do this are usually obsessed with avoiding dings or any other contact with their vehicle. I’ve always thought it would be fun to buy a really crappy beater of a car, and park it about 8 millimeters from the driver’s side door of these assholes, so they can’t open the door and have to get in the passenger side.

Ha! I used to do just that. I worked at a ski resort, with plenty of overly-entitled guests. Fairly often you’d get some jerk with a BMW or Mercedes taking up two spaces in the parking lot. Fortunately, I drove a little, beat up, nasty looking Ford Escort that would squeeze quite neatly into the remainder of one of the spots, blocking the asshole’s door. Fun times.

[neutron_star]

@steronz

I’m not sure if anyone has brought up the notion

Then why not read the thread and find out if they have or not?

[Rigamarole]

@Audrey_Levins

Did I misuse the word “double parked?”

I thought it meant what this guy did…which was park squarely on top of the line between two clearly-marked parking spaces. Thus trying to ensure that nobody will park right next to him.

Am I wrong?

Double-parking means parking alongside a row of parallel-parked cars such that the car you are parked next to can’t get out.

[Audrey_Levins]

@steronz

I’m not sure if anyone has brought up the notion that if the parking lot was really full, and he hadn’t been straddling the line, someone else would have probably taken that space long before. He may have been responsible for reducing the number of spaces in the lot by 1, but that most likely means that some other shmuck would have been spared the trouble of hoofing it from far away, and when you showed up the lot would have just appeared full.

And that would have been fine with me. It isn’t anybody’s fault if there’s not any parking.

But SOMEBODY should have been able to park there, even if it wasn’t me. The point is not that I’m entitled to great parking; the point is that he isn’t entitled to TWO parking spaces.

[little_bit]

Even if someone had taken that space before Audrey had gotten there, everyone after that person would be parked one space closer to their destination. The guy was a jerk.

[Cat_Whisperer]

@Audrey_Levins

<snip>
But SOMEBODY should have been able to park there, even if it wasn’t me. The point is not that I’m entitled to great parking; the point is that he isn’t entitled to TWO parking spaces.

That is the bottom line for all the melonheads who don’t park properly - they’re breaking the unwritten societal rule of one car, one space, so we don’t all have to get upset and start bashing car windows in with a baseball bat. Or something. We’re all just trying to get along, living in each other’s back pockets.

[bengangmo]

@rivulus

Ha! I used to do just that. I worked at a ski resort, with plenty of overly-entitled guests. Fairly often you’d get some jerk with a BMW or Mercedes taking up two spaces in the parking lot. Fortunately, I drove a little, beat up, nasty looking Ford Escort that would squeeze quite neatly into the remainder of one of the spots, blocking the asshole’s door. Fun times.

We used to do this deliberately at uni - the lots were yper narrow, so the only way to “properly” fit was for the first car to nose in, then second car reverse in - hat way passenger doors were side by side, could park just a few inches apart that way…

[LouisB]

@featherlou

That is the bottom line for all the melonheads who don’t park properly - they’re breaking the unwritten societal rule of one car, one space, so we don’t all have to get upset and start bashing car windows in with a baseball bat. Or something. We’re all just trying to get along, living in each other’s back pockets.

You can always shove a couple of potatoes up the guy’s exhaust pipe(s).