In which Dinsdale almost hits 3 women with a bat

So I’m walking down Adams Street in downtown Chicago yesterday at lunchtime, when something on the sidewalk catches my eye. Looking closer, it is a dead bat, lying facedown on the sidewalk next to a building. It was good sized - would probably fill your palm, and a pretty light brown color with light brown accents on its wings. Not having the chance to see bats all that regularly in the middle of the big city, I went to roll it over with the toe of my shoe.

Whereupon it revealed that it was not dead but had merely been pining for the fjiords. While I was somewhat startled to have this sizeable bat flutter into flight from the tip of my toe, my surprise was nothing compared to the three women who were standing nearby smoking and chatting. Their squeals suggested that they were not entirely amused as the bat passed quite near them a couple of times.

As I didn’t care to incur their wrath as the guy who stirred the creature to life, I continued strolling along. Continued shrieks from behind me caused me to look over my shoulder, whereupon I saw that instead of flying away and making itself scarce, the bat continued to swoop too and fro in the immediate area of the women.

If you women are reading these boards today, really, I didn’t mean to almost hit you with that bat.

I wonder if they can charge you with “battery.”

Quit it! When I giggle, it looks like I’m not working! :slight_smile:

In this case, “bat-toe-ry”.

Heh.
You do know that it’s not a good idea to handle (or even go near) a sick bat? Most bats you encounter are not rabid, but if you encounter a sick or dead bat in the daytime, your odds go up substantially.

Yeah. I was thinking just that. But the way it was lying motionless on the ground, I was sure it was dead. And despite my certainty (and because I am such a squeamish wimp!) I only nudged it with the toe of my Doc Marten. You shoulda seen me jump. My buddy who was walking with me is still calling me a big girlie!

See, I was hoping that you scooped it up, put it on a plate and slipped it on their table.
Boo.

Anyone else wonder what act of violence was almost engendered with a large wooden object? I have to admit I was a little surprised by the thread title - intentional, no doubt.