Nah, I’m a really bad stalkee. I go through life oblivious to it all. I wouldn’t even notice a stalker until said stalker said: “Yo! I’m stalking you! Pay attention!” Then I’d apologize for not noticing cause I’m kinda nice. I may need lessons in what to do when being stalked.
- Turn tables on stalker. Invite them to your house.
- Bake goodies for the stalker
- Send stalker home a few days later, preferably with a picnic lunch.
<rummages around and finds a pic-a-nic basket> Hey Boo-Boo! Go and distract that swampbear while I put some goodies in this basket!
I just wonder what would happen if you gather up a Bluetooth keyboard, printer and phone. Will the printer shoot out pages with “RING!” on them when the phone rings? Can you use the keyboard to dial the phone?
<snerk> goodies in a basket <snerk>
If I did all that, when I dialed my phone, I’d be sending myself email, or posting to a message board on Mars or something like that.
Is it considered a wise thing to invite one’s stalker into one’s home and bake for one’s stalker? I thought it was the stalker that did the cooking. You know, boiled bunny and such.
Nope, not if you invite the stalker. Then you have to do all of the cooking. However, if you happen to catch me staring into your windows one day, then I think it might be OK for me to cook for you, as punishment for stalking or something. I’m not too worried about that, though, because you haven’t caught me outside your windows yet. 
That reminds me, I need to wash my windows. I’ll bet nobody could stand outside my house and see in they’re so dirty.
The windows are dirty? That’s like the pot calling the kettle black.
Anyways, get on it. Then I’ll be able to use binoculars.