In which I pit my Beloved or: Please! Just put gas in the damn car.

The BBQ Pit
1

Generally speaking Missus Jockey and I have a good time with life, we’re travellers, companions, best friends and all that rot. We don’t expect much from one another, and generally stay out of each others way, we’ve no kids, happily, we exist as dinks (double income no kids). with little more than ourselves to deal with, and our own responsiblities. This weekend though, all that was tested.

Scenario;

I’m at home, in my sickbed, suffering from a multitude of ailments. She, like a trooper, ventured out to for the weekly grocery store run solo, while I stayed home hoping to get some more much needed rest. Then the frantic cell phone call…

ring, ring…
Me: “ugh, Hello”
Her: "yeah, I’m stuck, the car died, i’m not sure where I, uh, yeah, i’m over by that church on the way to the grocery’
Me: “What church? The Warehouse one?”
Her: "No the other one, it just died on me as I was driving, can you come "
Me: “Is there gas in the car?” ( i know she likes to test the limits of the fuel gauge)
Her: “Yeah, there’s an 8th of a tank according to the needle, and the light hasn’t even come on yet”
Me: “Okay, i’m on my way”

I trudge out of the house, drive to where she’s broken down, thankfully, she’s in a residential area and off the main boulevard.

I pull up to her car, she gets out, and I get in the drivers seat.
Says she: “The wheel locked up on me, I can’t get the key to turn, or the shift lever to move”
Says I: “ok, lemme see”

I sit down, stare at the instrument panel, give the wheel a little tug, and sure enough, it’s stuck, i turn the key, and it’s holding fast. I give a quick jiggle of the wheel in time with a turning of the key, and viola! Open sesame, I’m able to turn the key, and with my foot on the brake (as it says in the manual) move the shift lever, all is well, so far. I get the car powered up and ready to start, the needle on the fuel gauge barely nudges past the “E” line.

I try to start the thing, and it gives me that hey-stupid-i’m-out-of-gas chugging sound. Now, I’ve warned the missus not to let her fuel get this low before, as with many new vehicles, the fuel pump is mounted atop the fuel tank, and is lubricated by, guess what, fuel. The dealer even advised not to let it get that low for the same reasons.

Says I: “You’re out of gas”
Says she: “No, I’m not, there’s an 8th of a tank in there”
Says I: “That may not be accurate, it’s a Taurus, not a Rolex, precision is subjective”
Says she: “I drive this car every day, I should know”
Says I: "Ok Ms. Andretti, what’s the plan?
Says she: “I called roadside assistance, they’re sending a truck for it”
Thinks I: “then what the bloody blue fuck am I doing out here?”

An hour later, the tow comes, the car goes away to camp for the weekend, and we’re stuck with only one vehicle.

Come monday, the dealer who we’ve towed the thing to calls her and I, the call went like this:

ring ring…

Me: “Ugh, hello?”
Dealer: “Yeah, Mr. Jockey, we’re calling about the Taurus, it’s, uh, just out of gas”
Me: “FUCK! uh, sorry, I tried to tell my wife that, and she. uh never mind, it’s ready then?”
Dealer: “Yeah, it’s ready, but it’ll be 75.00 cause you’re out of warranty by a few miles, plus the 11 bucks worth of gas we put in”
Me: “No shit, ok, we’ll be by to pick it up”

I call her at the office:

Me: " 'ello love, Dealer called, car’s ready, guess what, you was outta gas"
Her: “I don’t accept that”
Me: “What?”
Her: “There was something wrong with the gauges”
Me: “Maybe, but they couldn’t find anything, and I told you not to let the gas get that low anyway”
Her: “Hypocrite, you do that sometimes”
Me: “Maybe, but I’ve never cost us 86 bucks because I ran out of gas, have I?”
(in hindsight, this probably is where things truly deteriorated)
Her: “Fuck you, and them, it’s just an old boys club, and I’m not paying”
Me: “Look, just accept that this was a mistake on your part, not your fault completely, but accept some responsibility.”
Her: “No.”
Me: Look, I’m sick, and tired, and don’t wanna pick a fight, just keep some fucking gas in the car."
Her: “Click”
So I go and pick her up, and take her to the dealership, and she’s steaming at having to pay for something preventable like this, only she doesn’t see it that way, and lays the blame squarely on the shoulders of the Ford Motor Company and our Local Ford Dealer.

Says She: “You’d better go in there, i’ll make a scene”
Says I: “No, you were partially at fault here, accept your responsibility and get in there and get your car”
Says She: “No, just leave it here then”
Says I: “That’s stupid”
Says She: “I’m not paying”
Says I: “Then you’re not driving”
Says She: " I’ll take your truck"
Says I: “Like hell”
Says She: “You don’t get it, you’ve missed my point”
Says I: “I get it, I’ve got a death grip on your point, you’re simply wrong.”
Says She: “You should believe me over them”
Says I: “That’s childish, I believe the facts in front of me, and you are kind of at fault, accept that.”
Says She: “No”

And that’s where it stands.

What i need to know ladies, is what the blue hell is so difficult about vehicle maintentance? It’s simple, just follow the book that came with your car. Now I understand that there are some underhanded mechanics out there who will try and change your headlight fluid or change the air in your tires, but if you’re gonna drive, you’ve gotta know what to do to maintain the car. It’s not just your toy to run you from place to place, it’s a fallible machine that needs care, and maintenance, why is that so difficult to understand?

(FTR, i’m trying not to generalize here, just going on my own experiences)

2

Wow. All I can say is not all females are like this. Your beloved Ms Jockey sounds immature and childish.

I am female, and I make sure I never run below a 1/4 tank of gas, I get the oil changed in all 3 vehicles on schedule, make sure they are inspected, fluids checked, air pressure checked in the tires, change a flat on my own, etc etc.

I have my father to thank. My first car, he refused to do anything to my car, instead insisting that I learn what needs to be done and why. So far, I have never had to walk because of car problems nor have I had to call anyone.

:slight_smile:

3

:eek: :eek: :eek: :eek: :eek:

If I ever had to have a car TOWED because it ran out of gas, and there wasn’t some extenuating circumstance like a seriously broken gas gauge or a leak or the closure of all gas stations for 75 miles, I would hide in shame for EVER.

4

Established fact: Given what you’ve relayed here, your beloved is behaving like an immature and spoiled child.

Other than that, two points come to mind:

  1. The dealer has the nerve to charge you $75 for a service call when all they did was gas up the car? That, to me, is particularly short-sighted on the dealer’s part. I’m just flummoxed that they’d actually charge you for that, and/or that you’d just accept it.

  2. In retrospect, it would have been much better to tell your wife that the dealer “fixed” the car, rather than just rubbing her face in the fact that she was, after all, only out of gas.

5

WOW. What elfbabe said. Unlike Tiggrkitty, I have had to walk on occasion, but that’s because of some seriously weird things going wrong with my car (even the mechanic had problems figuring it out.)

I try to keep AT LEAST 1/4 tank in at all times, because you just never know where on earth the gage-float is gonna be in the tank, and tanks aren’t shaped symmetrically, so, sure, you might have that 1/8 tank left, but then again you might have way less than that, so why take the chance?
My car got below 1/4 tank for the first time in YEARS this past week and that’s just because I had extra running to do with it before payday. My dad taught me about the Care And Feeding Of Cars, too - and one of the lessons was “don’t let it go below 1/4 tank so you don’t run out of gas.” I really do think it’s just stupid to let the car go like that (even though I’ve done it, it’s still stupid.)

And yeah, flat-out refusing to acknowledge your error when you’ve got specialists and your own car saying “out of gas”…yup, that’s immature.
Honestly, own up to your error. It’s not like NOT admitting it is gonna get your car back from the dealership for FREE. Duh.
(If she’s got a habit of this, I’d recommend a roadside service like AAA, though - the “Gold card” membership gets you 2 gallons of gas free should she run out.)

Sauron, I’m wondering if that the $75 was for towing and everything. (buttonjockey didn’t say, of course, and I’m perfectly willing to be wrong). If so, that’s not out of line. Most places around here charge you at least $50 for a tow. If that’s the case, then no, I don’t blame them one bit. Also, most dealers will have a standard service charge for even just looking at the car. A lot of them will apply that toward the entire fix-it fee, but in any case, if you take your car to a dealer to be fixed, prepare to pay WAY more than you would’ve otherwise.

6

Those are good points Sauron, except;

  1. They actually put the thing on the diagnostic computer, and ran it through the course of checks (I know a service manager there) and I don’t expect them to do that for nothing, plus, we escaped the cost of the tow, since we still have a major systems warranty that covers towing, so by my estimation, it kind of evens out.

  2. This may have been a little childish on my part, but I thought she needed to see where she went awry in this transaction. It’s not Ford’s fault she failed to put gas in the car. Plus, she’d have seen the credit card charge there, and freaked out later on, and I’d be at square one when the statement comes, rather than being there now.

What makes the whole thing worse is that generally speaking, she’s an intelligent, independent person with a positive attitude who can look at herself with objectivity, but this has turned her into a whining 5 year old, and it’s making me insane.

elf, this is my thought too, but she’s not of that mind…what’s a fella to do?

7

A female acquaintence of mine once ran her car out of oil. Completely out. The oil light had been on for 1000 miles and she didn’t think it was a problem…until she was by the side of the road.

I dunno, man, it’s just some women and cars.

8

Actually the car didn’t run out of gas. there was probably some of it sloshing around in the tank. Still, her logic and argument was weak. You might remind her that driving around graded or hilly areas will cause the gas pump to suck air when the tank is below 1/4 full. If it sucks enough air the car is kaput.

Sauron, the dealer may charge $75 just to protect itself from people who will not learn. If the dealer said “no charge” some people would use it as a backup for exercising good judgement at filling their tanks regularly.

9

Well Sauron, they did tow the car too, that’s usually good for $50 even if it’s just across the street. Then they had to have one of their mechanics diagnose what was wrong with the car, which was nothing, really, but he still had to look it over. Of course, on preview, this was said twice already :frowning:

I also have to say that the wife seemed to just get more and more irrational the angrier she got. Think about it, she’s mad at paying $75 for “just gas” but she was right about it not being “just gas” in the first place. Maybe the best course of action was to just keep the ole trap shut and not try to embarass her any further about it. Maybe a “Well, I guess the gauges could be a bit off, but it would be pretty expensive to fix, so maybe we just shouldn’t push the mileage too much from now on.”

10

I disagree. If she has a habit of letting the car run on fumes, she needs to be called on it when they end up having to pay $84 for a tank of gas.

11

I’m no car genius myself; I used to wait until the oil light came on to have the oil changed, until someone explained to me in very small words why that was a bad idea. But this is just silliness.

Were I you, I’d drop it. Don’t engage with her on it, but don’t help her out with it either. Eventually she’ll take a cab over there and pay to get the car, or else she’ll ask you for a ride to go pick it up.

Daniel

12

Cheesesteak, I tried that tack, believe me, I’ve been on the hook for stupid things in the past, so I get it, and I tried to be kind (though I’d still be typing the thread if I included every part of the day long fight) and the kinder I tried to be, the more foolish she became about it, thought she was being patronized (to be fair, I can be a bit of a smartass from time to time, but still) I was as gentle as my blood pressure would allow.

Lord, can i get an Amen!

13

My wife and I have a relationship very much like yours (DINKs and like it).

Well, I commute (with car A) and her business takes her out of town some weekends. When she goes out of town, she takes A and leaves me B. Well, the day before she has to leave town, I’ll always fill A and she’ll always fill B.

Well, during one of her recent trips out of town, I ran out of gas on the way home from work. Well, I kind of let her have it after she had driven 8 hours that day AND locked her keys in the car by mistake. She was very upset for a good part of that weekend out of town by herself.

Nothing good at all came of it. The lesson for me was that I should have kept my mouth shut even though she kind of screwed up (although it was silly of me not to notice).

That’s what I’d say to you. I would have told her, “they fixed something. It cost about $75 and they said that letting the fuel get low can hurt the car so try to keep it above 1/4 tank.”

She’d probably learn the lesson without the grief and embarassment.

14

Fair enough. I guess I’m just used to a more laid-back attitude with the mechanics/dealers in my neck of the woods. More than a few of them would have said, “Oh, you were just outta gas, pay me for that and we’re square.”

Of course, a handful around here would have told me my discombobulator wasn’t refrazzing properly, and charged me $400.

Sure, she’d have seen the credit-card charge. But she would have thought the dealer actually did something to fix the car that justified 86 bucks.

I dunno. If she’s dead-set against accepting any responsibility for this situation, despite every single fact being against her, I just don’t see how throwing more fuel on the fire (“Even the mechanic said it was just out of gas”) is gonna make things better. For whatever reason, she has decided she wasn’t wrong about the situation. You can either continue to point out that she was, in fact, wrong, or you can swallow the retorts and let her think she was right. (Personally, I think your wife knows she was wrong, and that she ran out of gas; she just doesn’t want to admit that, for whatever reason. I also think this little episode will keep her from letting the fuel level get too low in the future. I could, of course, be wrong.)

I guess it depends on what you want the end result to be.

15

I’d bet money on this being right. Of course, I’m at a total loss of what you can do about it. At some point, I would probably have said “Just shut the hell up, you don’t know shit about cars, and can’t admit you’re wrong.”

Then I go find a hotel for a few days.

16

Until the next time that she runs out of gas with the guage still showing a hair above empty. Repeat the same scenario, only this time she’s ultra pissed because they spent 86 bucks and the problem didn’t get solved.

17

I will admit I used to be one of those people who let their tank run down to fumes before refueling. Then the car wouldn’t start one morning. I figured I was jsut out of gas, walked a few block to the gas station, got a 1 gal container and put that in the tank. No such luck.

It turns out I fried my fuel pump by making it pump repeatedly when the tank was low, since I paid that bill I keep my tank at 1/4 minimum at all times. I only wish it had been a mere $84!

18

My favorite part was that she called roadside maintenance, then got you up out of your sick bed for some presumably inexplicable failure. Geez, if she’d only talked to you first.

I think she has every right to be mad. Not mad at the dealer, they helped her, and charged what they need to. At the car? Sure we’ll give her that one, maybe the gas gauge “was incorrect”. I’m sure the car will get over her ire. Mad at herself, you’re damn right. I think she already is. I think she’s redirecting her anger at herself toward the dealer, for being publicly humiliated and fined for something that was ultimately her fault. She’s embarassed as hell, as should be expected.

As for getting the car back, she should definitely get it back herself. There’s nothing good about setting a precedent for this sort of tantrum. Tell her that the car seems to think it has more gas than it does, but rather than have them tear out the fuel system let’s just keep it at no less than a quarter tank at all times.

Althought this is not the most technically accurate way of presenting the facts, it should get the job done. Hopefully she’ll go back and get her “stupid car”, and take out her agressions on it’s steering wheel. If it goes really well, she’ll be afraid to let the gas drop even a bit, thus preventing a recurrence.

You know your wife better than I do, so take this as a suggestion, not as gospel.

19

Another battle won in the fight against ignorance: I had no idea it was a bad idea to run on fumes, and have traditionally done so. I’ll stop doing it, and hope that my car Kowabunga can forgive me for previous offenses.

Thanks!
Daniel

20

I’m guessing wildly, but I think she knows she ran out of gas. I also think she won’t let the car get this low on gas for quite some time, due to her rather public humiliation over the incident.