In which I reveal Victoria's Secret

Shurely the bra would just float up into the sky then?

The offending commercial on YouTube:

naughty bits covered, not parsed just in case

You win!

Oh, baloney.

It’s a lingerie ad on TV. Victoria’s Secret is the only lingerie company that advertises on TV to any great degree. They’ve been pummeling us with advertising and publicity for two decades. That we should remember the brand is no great achievement.

The ad does nothing to make it more likely that I will spend my money there. The last thing I need is AIR in my bra. I have boobs enough for a small village already.

I always suspected Victoria’s secret was that she was a moron. These commercials just prove it.

It is traditional for Limericks to take painful licenses, especially saving them for the end, though I would agree that same-word rhymes are simply lame whereas zingingly awful is preferred.

A pretty young lady with wings
Was hawking inflatable underthings
Though her boobs were sublime
Her excrable rhyme
Showed her head had more air than her tit slings.

This is true. As an example, I offer the little known “clean” version of The Man from Nantucket:

There once was a man from Nantucket,
Who kept all his cash in a bucket.
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran off with a man.
And as for the bucket she took it.

I won’t buy a $40 bra, and better poetry won’t convince me to change my mind. However, I do buy my panties there but only the signature cotton.

I wouldn’t cast aspersions at the fellow a lady chooses to date. His endowment, or lack thereof, is her business.

Little known? Not to those familiar with the Straight Dope Classics.

The version that Cecil quotes includes a groanworthy pun in the last line:

And, as for the bucket, Nantucket.

{This also sets up the later “Pawtucket” and “Manhasset” verses.)

While strolling the stables one day
Victoria gave it away
"Mum’s had a great fit
Cause I’m pimpin’ my tit
In the mail order business all day !

===============

Whilst riding in finest dressage
Victoria’s decolletage
Up and spil’t from its tether
Then got cooled by the weather
But softened up with a massage.

===============

The copywriter’s wet dream:
A model well-slathered with creme
Oiled up to the hips
Naught but air on her tits
Angel bra cups are devoid of seams ! :wink:

===============

The foulminded crew had caught sight
Of a bosom that struggled with might
To release itself fast
From the cup’s firm elast
??? ??? ?? ?? ??
:smiley:

Go ahead. Finish it.

Cartooniverse

The craft went without crewing all night

They paddled with all of their might.

Before you all justify killin’
the idiot marketing villain
who has caused you to curse
he is surely no worse
than the one who suggested Bob Dylan.

Ah, that makes sense, I suppose. For some reason it always sounds to me like she’s pretending to be the Queen.

Bwahahaha!

The OP may mock our poor ditties
But we’re franchised in all major cities
So why take the time
To write a proper rhyme
When all you care about is our titties

Sometimes when we’re watching the tubes,
We will be confronted by rubes.
But the time’s not a waste,
Though their rhyme’s not our taste,
Cause we still get to ogle their boobs!

Some fellas using computers
Are fond of the sweet little cooters
But some guys who click
While holding their dick
Are seeking the bodacious melons.
Needs a little work.

I believe we have a winner. ding ding