I cried with relief, anger, resentment at my fathers funeral. It’s still upsetting. People thought I was grieving. I sympathize completely with your feelings, but there are plenty of people who won’t or don’t want to understand. I think I kind of held it together because of my mum & siblings - they don’t know the fucking half of it. And fuck him for making me a small child keep his ugly secrets.
My daughter has the dad that all her friends wish was theirs. I dread the day she’ll have to cope with his death.
Thanks, peeps. 
I just made the phone calls to family. I had only one to make to each side: my mother’s sister and my dad’s brother. My aunt knew it was me from the Caller ID and already knew what the call was about. Same for my uncle’s wife on the other side. So both calls were mercifully quick, and my aunts agreed to spread the word.
While I was typing the above, Mr. S called. He’d tried a few times and gotten a busy signal, so he correctly figured that the news had come.
Oh, and my mom said that my sister’s hubby offered to buy her a plane ticket home for Christmas – and she gratefully accepted. I think we should keep him.
Thanks again for letting me bend all your ears.