When should I expect it?
Do I have to pay extra for the poop?
Sounds like your husband is the brains of the outfit. By all means poop in the bag; I’ll be curious to see if she lodges an assault or harassment complaint against you.
How have you managed a 100% rating is beyond me.
The OP should get back on eBay and try to buy a clue.
Oh, she could have a 100% rating over 17 years, but maybe she has sold only five things over those 17 years. This is why one bad rating is going to screw her up so much.
This is why we won’t beat the Formics.
Best self pitting I’ve seen in a while. The op is one of the most insane sellers I’ve ever heard of.
You have no business bring in business.
…
What? Please never let me have to buy from you. You are awful.
That message was extremely reasonable.
I’m puzzled how OP’s drama du jour relative couldn’t wait a half hour. Why was it an either / or choice? Were they on fire at the time?
OP be cray.
As a result of this thread, I will be adding “leaving feedback” to my list of euphemisms for pooping.
And I keep having the song “Dick in a Box” running through my head, only with the title phrase replaced by “Poop in a Purse.”
Either overnight it immediately or refund immediately. Those are the only reasonable actions I would expect from a seller. Of the Ebay purchases I’ve made, they all shipped and billed the next day from my order. If that didn’t happen, I would expect one of the above two options, a profuse apology, and that would be the end of it. Buyer sounds entirely reasonable here and I would have become more exasperated than she did if the seller came back at me twice about whether or not I still wanted it.
All I hear in the OP is excuses. You do know that FedEx comes to you if you call them before 10am, right?
I particularly like the comment that someone made about how every single thing that the customer posted was reasonable, and every single interpretation by the seller was neurotic and insane. That was exactly what made the post so memorable.
Not only is the OP a bad business person, but they also just have no grip on reality whatsoever. I doubt anything you could ever say to this person would ever get through because of the neurotic/paranoid ways of interpreting them in her brain.
Wow. I have never even browsed eBay. And I’m on the net all day. My understanding from my uncle who’s a coin collector is that all buyers are “complete assholes”.
Sorry for all the bad life stuff happening to the OP, but why is ONE bad comment so bad if you’re successful at eBay all these years?? Next time, just say it’s sent when it really is sent. I know you already know that, just other important things took precedence. Life or post office? I’d take life, even if its bad. At least funerals have chairs to sit in. 
I’m still wondering which of the OP’s friends prevented her from putting poop in the purse.
And why would she be Pitting them for that. It seems like that would be a huge favor.
Unless “purse” is being used as a euphemism for “colostomy bag.” That would be pretty horrible, and I, for one, would heartily endorse Pitting anyone who prevented a colostomy patient from relieving herself.
I think WE were supposed to be her friends in this story, and we were supposed to clamor all over to say “oh what a horrible experience for you but please don’t put poop in the purse and send it to that terrible buyer!”
…even though at the end of the story she very clearly says she’s going to keep the purse for herself.
The OP is very out of touch with reality, this message board, best ebay selling practices, how to interpret natural language as it is spoken/written to you, among other things.
*polite applause
Marking the item as shipped when it had in fact not been shipped was an unforced error. The appropriate thing to do when first contacted by the buyer would be to apologize and spend the extra money to send it next day delivery. Instead, getting into a pissing match with the buyer was another unforced error. Then to complain here about getting called on for your own mistakes was another unforced error. Time to admit defeat and get on with life.
The most insane part is probably sending her photos at functions. But what if it is POURING RAIN those days? Hope you get kicked off Ebay.
Do you think that’s likely?