I learned of this just this morning and my stomach is still tied up in knots about it. I’m not sure what to do and wanted to get advice from someone who doesn’t know any of the parties involved. That’s why I’m coming here. Mods: if this would be better in IMHO, please feel free to move it.
Okay, so my sister e-mailed me this morning to tell me that my mom and a friend of hers (who we barely know) decided to stage an intervention on my brother-in-law Saturday night. Now, my brother-in-law may have had his share of problems in the past, and he and I don’t particularly get along. However, I don’t think this intervention was at all necessary. My brother-in-law works nights and stays home with my niece during the day. He maybe goes out for drinks once a week, which I don’t see as a problem. My sister was not at home at the time and my brother-in-law was totally blindsided by this. My mom and her friend basically just showed up at his house and told him he drinks too much and will lose his family if he doesn’t quit.
My sister is extremely upset about this, and has asked for my help. I would like to talk to my mother about what she did, but I’m unsure how to go about it or whether it’s even my place to do so. I feel my mother has overstepped her bounds and I do not want to do the same. My greatest fear is that it’s going to hurt the whole family. I doubt we’ll be seeing my brother-in-law at family gatherings after this. I also hate to see my mom’s relationship with my nieces, who she’s very close to, become damaged as a result. I fear that my sister and my mom’s relationship will never be the same.
My sister thinks that it was my mom’s friend who put her up to it, and claims she’s heard she likes to stir things up for people. I don’t know the details or if it’s true. As I said, we barely know the woman. It really bothers me that this friend somehow thought she had the right to interfere in my sister’s family. If my mom wanted to stage an intervention, she should have talked to my sister and other family members first.
Whew. So, I really needed to get all that off my chest. Now I’m asking you, what do you think about what my mom did, and what would you do in my position?