Yeah, this is whiny, and somewhat petty, but og dammit, I’m in a really rotten mood today.
Hence this rant. Feel free to call me a whiny bastard (yes, cheese would be nice, thankyouverymuch), commiserate, or just call me an asshat, I live to serve.
But, as a disclaimer, I wrote this earlier today and emailed it to somebody when I was feeling especially crappy. I’ve calmed down a bit now, enough to realize that I should be thankful to even have a job, given what some other people are going through right now, or even what I was going through about a year and a half ago. But still, it was a very passionate rant (by my standards, anyhoo), and I’m still reasonably grumpy, so I thought I’d share.
First off, something that I noticed today on my way to work. Anyone here seen “Joe vs. The Volcano”? You know the opening scene? That’s exactly what it’s like to walk to work in the morning. I get off the train, and everyone solemnly files out, up the escalators, and down the street to their respective offices. Never saying a word, always looking at their feet with a rather dour expression on their face. Who can watch this happen every day and NOT get at least a little depressed by it?
I'm having a shitty day at work. The coffee is particularly nasty today, and I've spent the entire day so far doing lame-ass sysadmin crap to update our testing software, which of course doesn't work now, so I have to talk to the people who make it to make them solve our problems because I actually have to use the shit to update our test plan, like... today. And I just printed out our test plan document, and I SPECIFICALLY told word not to print the entire 173 pages, since only the first 36 were relevant to me. So, of course, it prints the entire 173 pages and won't let me cancel it.
Maybe if I can get this stuff done, I can get back to writing some more braindead code to do stupid things that nobody really cares about anyway. Then I can listen to other people whine and bitch about how much all the 3rd party software we have to interface with sucks. Then, ooh, maybe I can work on my InstallShield installer, but, oh wait! I forgot that this was the federal government, so when I formally request $3k to buy the licenses, have the request approved, etc, etc, I shouldn't actually expect anything to happen for like 3 more months. Well, at least they pay me extra to do all this sort of extra-curricular stuff... no, wait, I forgot, they don't. I get paid about 30% less than I used to (Damn you stupid bursting bubble! Could you not have waited 2 more fucking months until we went IPO?), and I spend my day doing mind-numbing tasks that a trained chimpanzee could do. Well, at least if I stick with it, I can count on advancing to some sort of higher-up and more respectible and influential position... oh wait, no, that's not true either. If I stay here for 10 years I might get to be a project manager and read email all day while watching my underlings preform mind-numbing tasks that a trained chimpanzee can do, but at least I'd get a better phone and a nifty pager.
The again, maybe this is all just in my head, after all, all the carbon monoxide fumes from the fucking loading docks that are right next door to the office have been known to have negative effects on people, I wonder what OSHA would have to say about that. Probably nothing, nobody else gives a shit, why would they? I think the terrorists must have secretly installed some sort of apathy-generator somewhere on capitol hill that just makes people not give a flying fuck about a goddam thing. Or maybe it's just this general area. Nothing stimulates the mind quite like shitty weather, bad air quality, lousy restaurants, and a population made up of an inordinate amount of ignorant moronic asshats.
Or maybe it's this lovely set of mental disorders I seem to have. Woo-eee, what a badge of honor. I get to take an SSRI and and antipsychotic! And I'm completely unable to sleep for longer then 3 hours unless I'm heavily sedated with 10mg or more of valium! You'd think that after all of that, I'd feel a little better about things. But nah, that'd be too easy, wouldn't it? Then there's the CTS, that's fun too, although hasn't been flaring up as badly lately. There's something to be thankful for I guess.
My esteemed landlord has yet to grace me with a call on either the cell or at work regarding the disposal and the lease renewal. Nor has that asshat dentist returned my fucking call.
Well, that’s all for now. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to quaff my sludge in a coffee cup, go upstairs, bang my head on something a few times, and have a smoke.
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