60 miles is “long distance?” If so, why are you dating so far away?
The same way we deal with anything else that we disagree about, we talk about it. Why does it upset you? What do you feel? Why do you think that is? Does it remind you of something? First you find out why.
Is his answer because I’m a Pilgrim, my last 27 girlfriends cheated on me, I have a germ phobia, I’m insecure when I think about other men and you, all I can think about is my ex and her new husband, etc? There is always a reason why someone doesn’t like something. The reason tells you if it is negotiable or not. Plus, what’s her reason for doing it? That’s how it’s done where she is from, her family does it like that, she’s into cuckolding, lol etc.
He left out an awful lot of details and the assumption was made that she is very bad and uncaring.
As far as my boyfriend and I, he’s picked up the habit with a few of my friends. He’s British and they aren’t the most demonstrative people on earth so it was a big step for him. I was doing something he personally wasn’t used to … but there was nothing wrong with it. The way I dress and conduct myself doesn’t say “pick me up!”. I don’t give off anything but a professional signal to anyone but my nearest and dearest.
I went on a date with a guy who thought I was too demanding and it made him “uncomfortable” because I sent my dinner back. It was cold. I eat out a lot. I send my food back maybe twice a year. This happened to be one of those times.
Would it be appropriate to tell him “she just doesn’t care how you feel!” or “she doesn’t have any boundaries!”. No, I didn’t do anything wrong. I just did something he personally wasn’t comfortable doing. I’m incredibly polite and although I am assertive, I don’t cross over into aggressive. For whatever reason, he didn’t feel that he had the right to have food that he was paying for be cooked all the way through. I needed a man with more balls than that. It wasn’t going to work. I cut him loose. He can be happy eating uncooked food with someone else.
I’m very good at relationships. I don’t have a lot of war stories. I choose wisely and know how to work things out. Bad dates and guys that clearly weren’t a match after a week or two, I’ve had lots of them, but bad relationships… nope. It’s not because I suck at it.
I’m pretty much done with this thread as I cannot continue to think about this, I’ve “moved on.”
But I will add this little bit of information:
This was a once a year dance party in the area and some 350+ people attended. My ex knew a lot of them and greeted many with hugs and kisses, but not like the kiss I saw her put on this particular man.
We met about 6 of her closest friends at the party and she hugged and kissed each one of them, but NOT the way she kissed this man. She had already seen this man twice prior to putting her hands around his head, pulling him in and kissing him, 1 Mississippi, 2 Mississippi, 3 Mississippi. Lurker this was not a ritual kissing / greeting she did with him. It was more.
Thank you all.
So your story went from:
I’m not sure why I was surprised to see how touchy feely she was with, well every one of her friends, guys and girls. and So in your humble opinion could you accept your girlfriend or boyfriend kissing people of the opposite sex in this manner?
to
We met about 6 of her closest friends at the party and she hugged and kissed each one of them, but NOT the way she kissed this man.
Why didn’t you just say the woman you just got back together with after a split revenge kissed a guy in front of you, won’t admit it and you’re pissed off?
The way you presented your story was disingenuous.
Nice!
She did do something wrong. I’m married and my wife has NEVER done anything like that while we are dating or now. There is zero reason for her to be kissing a “friend” on the lips like that. You did the right thing breaking up with her. That’s very odd behavior and I have to tell you, don’t waste any time psychoanalyzing, because nothing about this is going to make it normal. Nothing about it for you to fix, because you can’t and shouldn’t bother. I’m sorry this happen to you, but honestly you did the right thing breaking up with her. Bravo!
Ahh, Mississippi kissing. Next stop, the delta!
Yes, you are.
And no, you wont listen to anyone who sez you are making too big of a deal about it. Or so I bet.
Bully reported.
Only if you read it in exactly the way you did. She was touchy and feely in a way that surprised him, but it was the prolonged kiss that caused the problems. They have different boundaries for physical contact with friends but it wasn’t the hugging, brief kissing etc that caused the argument.
“Revenge kissing” doesn’t exactly make it sound better!
Smart man. Another word out of you and the usual crew will be along to accuse of being controlling, stalkerish and that she’s lucky to be rid of you. :rolleyes: