Assuming at least average intelligence, can an inability to plan ahead reach the level of mental impairment? I realize we’ve discussed poor financial and life decisions a lot on these boards, but I’ve encountered a few people who actually seem unable to think about outcomes even a short time ahead.
The most recent is a cousin whose behavior is bewildering. This person seems fairly intelligent but has a lifetime (45 yrs old) of astonishingly poor choices that are outside the norm (imo). She seems *literally *unable to understand that rent is due Monday, and you shouldn’t spend that money on Saturday. As you would expect, she’s a complete failure at even the basics of self-sufficiency. However, the latest turn in this saga blows my mind. After receiving a small inheritance from an older relative, she (with no job) put down a deposit and signed the lease on an expensive house. After all this (and buying furniture) she only had enough money left for a few months at move-in time. Several relatives tried to point out that 6 grand was not gonna get her thru a one year lease at 2 grand per month, but it was hopeless. Now a few months later, she’s lost everything, the money’s gone and she’s homeless.
I understand that really long-term planning (for decades) is difficult for people, but watching this train-wreck has me wondering if some people actually lack the ability to predict outcomes even a short distance into the future. Is it possible this is an actual mental impairment for some?
I apologize for the length, but I’m curious about your thoughts on this.
Some people are really bad at math - even those that appear to be bright.
To some - the thought of - “well it costs $2,000 a month and you have $10,000 - how many months do I have?” doesn’t really occur to them. It isn’t the way they think. They have $10,000 - the rent is $2,000 - case closed.
Some of this can be related to disorders of “executive function”. It is very hard to treat, and there is little hope in people where that is the case.
I seem to notice this behavior (that you are talking about) - more in women. Not sure what causes it. They seem to have trouble holding down a job, sometimes relationship issues, are attracted to shiny nice things, like to travel, bit of a dreamer, generally nice and fun to be around (when the world isn’t crashing around them). In my experience - they also aren’t great at showing up on time.
Never had any luck trying to help them. I think they are frustrated by it as well, but don’t seem to realize some of this stuff is a simple math problem - and even if they can’t figure it out - a quick call to you would allow you to help them figure it out.
I’m not sure about the impulse control disorders, as I know almost nothing (formally) about psychology. But I’m hoping some of the board members with experience in these areas will weigh in. And yes, it’s been especially difficult for the parents. As you can imagine, this lifestyle can have unsavory connections. They’ve had to completely cut off contact for their own self-preservation (a decision which we support, btw.)
Oh - and on rereading this - I’m a bit tired - and my comment about noticing it more in women - while accurate from my standpoint - is wildly skewed due to a sampling bias on my end
I’ve known both men and woman with similar. My husband has a bit of it in that he literally has a mental block for something down the line. Case in point: I can’t tell you how many times we’ve had to cancel reservations simply because he “forgot” we were going Dutch on it, and there was no way I could carry the entire cost myself (we have separate finances, btw). We’ve gotten better in dealing with it, whether it’s reminders on his Google calendar or my reminding him or someone else reminding him. You know, out of sight = out of mind.
OTOH some people I know who possess such behavior have some kind of impulse control thing going on, whether it’s undiagnosed ADD or a flavor of bipolar or something else. A few are in ongoing treatment for it, while others are out there still flailing and living dangerously close to the edge.
I’m not an expert, but it could be some form of OCD or ADHD or any number of other disorders out of the DSM book. Probably not bipolar. That has more to do with wild mood swings.
I have a cousin like that. Fortunately his parents are wealthy and more or less subsidize his income. He’s a nice guy and fun to be around. But you can’t really hold a conversation with him for more than 2 seconds. And AFAIK, he’s never had a real job in 40 years. Mostly he just bums around the Brooklyn / Manhattan hipster scene involving himself in various “projects”.
What really surprises me is that no-one has pushed to declare this cousin legally incompetent, and appoint him a guardian for his business and legal decisions. Doesn’t (or shouldn’t) that happen anyway after bankruptcy?
I figure it is tied to impulse control. People like this live in the moment; the only thing relevant is what is happening right now. It can be annoying to deal with. My friend had a roommate like this and it was always one crisis after another. These types of people tend to be coddled by their peers, which I think just makes things worse.
I have a nephew who suffered a nasty head injury a few years ago who now has impaired executive function. It’s very frustrating for all of us. He used to be a very together human being and now… well, he’s still smart in some ways but the foresight, planning, impulse control, etc. just do not work properly any more.
I think there’s a huge segment of the population whose thoughts rarely really venture past the immediate moment or the very near future if they work on it. And by “very near future”, I mean within the next couple of days if they’re really trying hard.
You see this in a lot of dumb-ass things people do- the way they drive (aren’t in position for exit ramps or turns and pull crazy-ass turns across multiple lanes) and the fact that a huge number of people can’t be on time to save their lives. These are the biggest two everyday manifestations of this, but I’m sure there are more. A lot of it looks like they weren’t paying attention, when in fact they were paying immediate attention and not thinking just that little bit ahead, and that’s why they both are out of position for the exit ramp AND why they do some crazy-assed turn instead of just going to the next one and u-turning.
Some people also just refuse to pay any attention or heed to things that upset them; it sounds like the OP’s cousin is a combination of the two things- not thinking outside the immediate time, and unwilling to really consider financial issues.
