Well, for the sake of argument, let’s just say that B is a veritable Vogon of a man and has been for a number of years. Let’s also say, for argument’s sake, that A interprets B’s impenetrable gloom and chronic malaise and refusal to seek treatment of same, and refusal to discuss same with A, as indifference. And, being human, A hooks up with C seeking only a bit of human contact. And shit cacades from there as A “awakens” emotionally, casts a glance back at C stewing in the funk of his own undiagnosed and undisclosed psychosis, and figures, “What the hell, he probably won’t even care.”
For refusing treatment & refusing to discuss my chronic psychoses (paranoid schizophrenic–I didn’t much like discussing it at the time, but that’s a whole 'nother Oprah) with the one to whom I bound my soul, I accept 1%. Still, I wouldn’t cheat on anybody.
I was once almost C. A was a good friend who first tried to start something with me (and if he weren’t married I would’ve been all over that). I hemmed and hawed and finally said “not while you’re married”. A then invited me to be in a relationship with him and B. Again, no, not going there, thanks.
Cheating is one black-and-white area for me, as said above. If I was the one facilitating the cheating, I would be JUST as bad as A. Also, the night I said no to C, I ended up hanging out with D, who I’m marrying next year.
I work with a potential A and C (well, for all I know they are an actual A and C, but I think not).
She knows he has a wife, she knew it before they even started flirting. He knows he has a wife too. I think they both realized they had a lot in common and just went from there. Maybe they are just friends and neither of them think anything different, but if you’ve seen the looks they give each other you have a hard time not thinking something’s up.
Anyway, it’s been interestig to watch. I can see the reasoning that people have given saying that A is mostly to blame, but C deserves some of the responsibility, but I find it much more complicated when applied to a real life situation.
I guess that the laying of blame doesn’t always seem very productive to me. At the same time I think it does have it’s place. It’s just that ultimately life goes on and getting stuck worrying about blame can be counterproductive.
I feel that A is responsible for most of the blame.
C not so much (although in most cases the B will place all the blame on C, not looking at their own relationship with A).
If A does not get what it wants from C, it will probably move on to D, E or F; who wants to be married to a letter like that anyway?
Similar to Lauren, I was/(am?) friend to A and C in a long term relationship rather than marriage situation. A and C are now together, and now that I’m a bit more distant to both of them, it is a bit entertaining to see them get into those “is he/she cheating on me?” arguments.
A is to blame, C did wrong (and was incredibly stubborn).
I met a girl who had recently been a C. We got engaged. Then she turned into an A. After she dumped me she became a C several times, before finally marrying one of her As. I have no idea whether she’s an A, B or C now - I guess it’s possible to be an A and a C at the same time, which doesn’t speak well for the happiness of either B or D.
On the mental gender assignment, I read something once along the lines of “What is it when someone has hot sex with a stranger while the spouse and kids are away? Well, if the someone’s a man then it’s just a typical sordid tale of how men duck their responsibilities and cheat on their vows whenever they’re given a chance. But if the someone’s a woman then it’s called The Bridges of Madison County.”
