Who said that?
Apparently, this rule:
That’s right, because dating and marriage are so honest and full of fluffy kittens. It’s bullshit too, and I’ve seen lots of disgusting so call “real relationships”. It’s all bullshit.
“connect the dots” in a way kinda means you said that, doesn’t it?
For one, there’s a creepy racist angle to this sort of thing – prostitutes aren’t exactly difficult to find in North America, even underage ones, but I know there are American and European men who only indulge while in Asia. Maybe it’s because Asian girls and women (and, of course, boys and men) are their ‘type,’ or that they don’t want to get caught… but I can’t help but feel that there’s something else to it, especially when they’ve got daughters of their own. Their dollars stretch further, and they want it all. They’ve got a right to live like kings, and that includes pussy.
Creepy racist angle? Come on! You answered your own question: “Their dollars stretch further.” There are prostitutes in the US but they’re a hell of a lot more expensive and you’re also WAY more likely to get into legal trouble. You really think it’s just as easy to patronize prostitutes in the puritanical United States of America?
JR Brown: I said this about sex: “All it is, is stimulating a part of your body until you have an orgasm, using someone else’s body.”
You responded with a snide remark. “Remind me to never date you.” Okay. Is there some other, more accurate definition of sex that you think applies? I know that the dating game (and that’s what it is, a game) requires all kinds of psychological bullshit - but I’m not talking about dating, I am talking about the act of sexual intercourse. I gave a precise, accurate summary of what sexual intercourse is. And it’s true. Any other bullshit that you want to ascribe to sex is just ceremonial window dressing. Sex is sex. It’s sticking your dick into someone else’s hole. I’m not trying to make it sound dirty or evil - I’m just trying to TAKE IT OFF THE PEDESTAL.
When I lived in El Paso, I think it was pretty common knowledge that you could get anything you wanted if you crossed the border. Go to any impoverished place and you can probably say the same.
My WAG is that one of the primary allures to places like Thailand is distance. The evidence is far less likely to reach all the way back to their homes back in the US or Europe. After all if you want to stretch those dollars, there are places like Mexico.
I imagine racism does play a part for some, however. It’s old hat, really: slavery was “okay” because the Africans weren’t “really people.” Hitler portrayed the Jews as vermin. In the US we eradicated native tribes and justified it by calling them “savages.” That sort of thing—they’re different than us, therefore it’s okay. Bullshit rationalization, but there it is.
No. I said that the fact he is balding, overweight and older makes it clear as a bell why he’s able to nail a stream of women way out of his league. I’m assuming, of course, that he’s not the front man for a Thai rock band, though that would explain the horrendous Bon Jovi 'do.
Were he young and handsome, it wouldn’t be clear as a bell because there’s nothing unusual about 10’s nailing 10’s.
Note that this is not even remotely close to saying “Only balding, old, overweight dudes who can’t attract American women delve into the Thai sex scene.” I don’t see where anyone said that.
Because he’s a sleazeball. He just wants to screw girls who are young enough to be his daughter. From the site:
He’s not looking for a peer. He’s looking for someone he can feel superior to. My guess is that he can’t handle a woman who doesn’t want to be his sex toy.
It doesn’t matter if sex is “just a commodity” over there, he went into it looking for no-strings-attached sex, and now he’s whining about the fact that he has deadened his heart to romantic feelings. He got what he paid for, and he’s having to live with his choices. Boo hoo hoo. He selected women purely on the basis of their looks and availability, and now he’s surprised that they selected him purely on the basis of what he could offer them.
Also, I don’t know where you’re getting your ideas about male attractiveness (judging not only by this thread, but in the “attractive male body types” thread as well), but I gotta say that I think that you’re WAY off. The guy on that website isn’t hideous, but I’d rank him as no better than about a 6 on a scale of 1-10.
I found it so boring I didn’t even get to the pictures to see what he looks like.
Why is this a problem? Benefactor-type relationships have existed for a long, long time. It’s a rather peculiar and recent notion (that I often see espoused on this board) that if a relationship isn’t one of “equals” there is something very wrong with it. I just don’t get that particular complaint.
ShibbOleth is spot on here. A lot of guys don’t “fit the profile,” and it is the younger ones who are easier to scam. They’re always thinking: “Man, this chick has just got to love my hot body. She’ll be eternally grateful if I can take her away from all of these old creeps and let her enjoy my hot body forever instead.” Next thing they know, they’re wondering what the hell hit them.
Regardless of what some other posters may think, I don’t have much sympathy for the guy in the story either, or at least not for what he’s done in the past. I do like it that he admits he has a problem, has taken steps to address it and has gone public with the story. We don’t know his name, but he did post his photo. I do admire that. If he had been a heroin junkie, everyone would be saying to hang in there. His addiction just happens to be sex; he says he didn’t even come here as a sex tourist. One of the things I like about this story is that a lot of guys you meet who are plowing through the women like he did are of the “My name is Chuck, and I like to fuck, yuckyuckyuck” variety. I think this guy put some thought into this. From a remark he made, it also sounds like he had been in correspondence with Stickman; I am personally acquainted with Stick, he is a nice person but does not suffer fools gladly. I don’t know what passed in their e-mail conversations, but if this man were not sincere about wanting to clean himself up, Stick would not be putting up with him; he’s a shrewd judge.
I figured there would be some negative responses, and that’s fine, I welcome all feedback. But at least one remark was made that equated starting this thread with being sympathetic to guys who come over here looking for sex. And that’s not true. My motivation for posting this was that, without condoning it or condemning it, I thought it provided a good insight into how one man slipped into the scene and then discovered he needed to get out. Many people have preconceived notions about exactly how it is over here; ShibbOleth is right when he says not everyone fits a “profile.” Sure, some do, but they may actually not even be in the majority, but rather the most easily spotted.
I myself do not indulge in the sex scene, but I am in the bars a lot. The girls can be very open with you if they know they’re not going to have a chance at your wallet. I chat with quite a few and know some well enough to call friends. If nothing else prevented me from indulging, it would be hearing their stories abot the sheep they’ve fleeced. (My darling wife actually has given me permission to indulge if I really want to, but the fact is I really don’t want to. Funny old world, isn’t it?) And the girls in the scene are largely comfortable with their choice. The ones on drugs don’t last. The ones who can’t take it end up getting out quickly. The ones who stay have made a business decision and make the best of it; they’re not demons, they’re very nice girls to chat with for the most part, but they are businesswomen. People get fleeced in just about any business in Thailand, it is definitely a case of “Caveat Emptor,” and this business is the same way.
I try not to judge the people involved myself, be they buyers or sellers. For many people, not loudly condemning the buyer equates condoning him, but I disagree. All the while I have been here, I’ve met all sorts of people, from what passes as “normal” in the West to Rambo-type mercenaries to broken-down Vietnam vets to sex tourists to con men to drug addicts to Regular Joes who have had the good fortune to meet a truly nice Thai girl and settle down with her successfully (I put myself in that last category). I steer clear of the true bastards and try not to be judgemental about the others; this would be a hard place to live otherwise, because circumstances often throw you together with the most unusual people.
So anyway, I do apologize if anyone got too squicked out by this man’s story. I personally don’t think it is too squicky – it certainly is not compared with some of the tales I could tell – but I do think it provides an interesting insight.
BTW: I am reminded now of something someone showed me regarding why single men can’t go to Bangkok. This feels like a good place to stick it. See it here. 
Well I think it is a problem in that the modern sex trade is often predicated on preying on those with little power or options and often starts when the sex worker is still a child, but, heh they have dark skin so a lot of people don’t really seem to give a shit. Mostly though, it is not really a problem, just sad little men, living their sad little lives. It wouldn’t really be worth commenting on, except that someone put it on the web and asked for comment on it.
Are you aware of the gigantic sex trade in the former Soviet Union? The people involved in it are anything but dark-skinned.
Just a bullshit comment by you. Please, absent a few fetishists people will go whereever they can for prostitution. It exists in wealthy country and the sex trade is massive in Eastern Europe and Russia. Racist too?
SiamSam:
Can you give us some examples of how these types of “relationships” turn bad? Is it overt prostitution (i.e. $X for a sex act) etc.?
There are a lot of Russian and other East European hookers in Thailand now. Some work the streets, especially around lower Sukhumvit Road, especially around Sukhumvit Soi 3; others work in a few specialist clubs. Their prices are much higher than that of their Thai sisters and so partially because of this, most of their clients are Thai businessmen. This is mainly because the farangs (Westerners) don’t want to pay that much, but there is a racial element to this, too, in that the Thai businessmen prefer whiter skin. Even when the girls are Thai, the Thai men will go for the lighter-skinned northern-Thai beauties, scoffing at the “crazy farangs” for wanting the “ugly” dark-skinned Northeasterners.
A friend of mine who lives upcountry must often entertain visiting government officials from Bangkok – tax officials, agriculture officials, different ones. There is this one massage parlor/brothel in town he always takes them to at the end of the night. He does not indulge himself, but rather after they’ve done the requisite drinking somewhere else, he accompanies them to the massage parlor and then leaves. He has an arrangement with the establishment in which the officials can have anything they want, and the parlor’s papasan comes to his office to collect what’s owed the next day. My friend told me one time the fee sudenly spiked, and when asked why, the papasan gleefully boasted that now they had a couple of Russian (or Ukrainian, something like that) girls and that’s what they went for. He added that they were very popular with the local Thai businessmen.
The sex industry in Thailand is fueled largely by Thais and is for Thais. Farangs are actually a small part of it, less than 10% by most accounts, 5% by some.
The main reason they go bad is because a man falls into the trap of thinking he’s found his true love, then loses everything when the girl cleans out his bank account. The house and other property he may have bought for his true love is in her name, so he’s lost that, too. Stories are legion. Make no mistake, if you indulge with these girls, keep it on a casual basis. They are for play, not marriage. I personally know of cases in which a man married a girl he met in the bars and whisked her off to his corner of farangland, and then the girl came back alone “just to visit Mama,” who by some accounts was supposedly sick, or so the husband was told, but actually the girl came back just to work in the old bar for a couple of weeks, cutting loose and letting off some steam, then returned back to the husband, who was none the wiser. Don’t think you’re going to find your life’s partner in the bars!
I know several girls who are paid by their Western boyfriends to stay out of the bars. The thing is, they have several boyfriends, each one unknown to the others. She’ll have her ringtone set for each one so she knows without looking who is phoning. When one is in country, she’ll take leave from the bar; if a second one happens to be in town at the same time, she’ll make some sort of excuse about having to be with her sick mother upcountry at that time. When all of them are back in their country, she’ll work the bar anyway! Despite receiving a monthly living allowance by each one designed to keep her out of the bar. She’s saving money for the future, for her family, and she’ll take what she can get. Often, eventually she’ll settle on one of the guys and suddenly cut the others all loose.
It is fascinating to watch. Like a bad train wreck.
I should add that it’s not quite as heartless as it sounds. The girl will usually have some sort of real feeling for each one. Many’s the time I’ve been told: “Bob has a good heart. He gives me a lot of money, keeps my problems away.” And she’ll really mean it when she talks about his good heart. Very few of the girls speak of their sponsors with contempt. But then she’ll add: “Don’t tell Bob I’m working bar. He thinks I’m not.” Of course, I’ve never met Bob in the first place, but never mind. For her, it’s definitely a case of love the one you’re with. And when the guy does get cut loose in the future, it’s just business. This is difficult logic for many in the West to understand, but I see it all the time.
There’s also a common fallacy, frequently espoused on this board, to generalize a topic into some kind of abstract law before you address it, rather than responding to the specific subject at hand. Your post being a perfect example.
Uh, no. The johns aren’t particularly smart, not particularly old. To wit, my coworkers in Costa Rica who, after one of them (a 25yo with a belly aged 40sh and a general attractiveness level of 4, whose bride was preparing the wedding back home) bedded an “18 year old law student” (in most countries, law is not graduate school), and after all his personal electronics and those of his roommate (the project manager), but not those company-owned nor those that came with the appartment went missing on the same day she did… still swore up one Bible and down another that no way it had been her. Sure, honey, and she bedded you cos of your beautiful hair 
The term dickheads applies quite literally to many johns, at least at that particular time.