Innocent phrases that sound dirty

“And then I sucked it out with a straw”

We often use “stopcock grease” and “round bottoms” in our lab.


Grandma’s Chicken Salad…

“Yeah? Well your sister is a thespian.”

I’m not sure whether it’s a fact or a legend that a very long time ago, a politician used that description of his opponent’s sibling to turn the people against him, counting on the fact that they weren’t educated enough to know the difference.

This is one of several pages that name former Senator George Smathers (D-Florida) as the “slanderer” of Claude Pepper, his opponent in the 1950 Democratic primary. Yet other sites dismiss the story as “an urban legend”, while Snopes doesn’t seem to address this particular chestnut. Unless a recording of Smathers’ utterance of the fabled phrases surfaces, the matter will remain the subject of conjecture.

Here are David Letterman’s nominations in the category.

“call me when you get off”

“I’m seasoning my bag.”
(piping reference)

I masticate so I won’t choke!

I helped my uncle jack off a horse…

Oops. Capitalization mistake. Thats Uncle Jack

…then loosen the petcock…

Two words: “Butt plate.”

That sounded pretty bad K/L… on that, you can bet your ass.
I mean …er well, not literally of course.

Right up your alley.

Thanks - I have been looking for that list for a while - for some reason I think that is one of Dave’s all-time best…

Today in bayonet drill we practiced the vertical butt stroke…

Beaten to the punch, yet again. :stuck_out_tongue:

Anyone here guilty of … giving the dog a bone?

I had to beat him off with a stick! :o

just ouch :smack:

My favorite thing to say while playing cards: “I’m just one jack off.”