I just walked by a guy who was chatting on his cell phone, and I heard him say, “Oh, I don’t know. I could go either way.”
I use this all the time! I believe it’s from the entirely forgettable film “Hollywood Nights”. “Starring” I believe, Robert Wuhl and Stewart Pankin. The car club guys piss in the punch and when the cop tastes it he says “It’s got a little wang to it”.
My nephew called me in tears this morning. He had his wisdom teeth pulled last week, and now he’s got dry socket.
With this thread in mind, it was difficult not to laugh as he cried.
Every time I hear the phrase “It’s nippy out” (to describe the outside temperature), I ALWAYS hear it as “It’s NIPPLY out”.
Which, I guess, also makes sense…
First birdwatcher: “I really enjoy watching those waterfowl.”
Second birdwatcher: “I’m a tit man myself.”
Also from the Brits,
Keep your pecker up.
In American, it means keep a stiff upper lip, i.e., be courageous. 
Last heard stated by John Cleese as Basil Fawlty in one of the Fawlty Towers episodes.
– Once, when I was fairly young, I overheard one neighbor in the driveway (alley) ask another what was wrong with his car-- apparently the guy had just brought it back from the garage. The man replied that it was nothing; he was about to take a trip down the shore, and just brought it in for “a tune-up and a lube job.”
There were some “big kids” (teenagers) hanging out nearby, and they reacted to this rather loud pronouncement with great hilarity. I don’t know why this sticks in my mind, but I still remember them snorting “lube job!” and jabbing and clutching each other with knowing, hysterical guffaws for quite a while. “Lube job” still sounds vaguely dirty to me, all because of those evil-minded teens and my impressionability.
– I dislike pickles, but have found that it’s often too much trouble to ask a server to leave out the pickles when ordering a burger or sandwich. (I gather that short-order cooks will implode if they try to stop their hands from inserting pickles on a platter.) Anyhoo, once after a waitress took my order and turned away, I impulsively called out, "Oh, and you can hold my pickle!’’ She turned around and gave me a very frosty look. The guy I was having lunch with literally fell off his stool laughing.
– I once heard Judge Wapner, returning after a commercial to give his verdict in an episode of “People’s Court,” remark, “Well, I don’t have much left to say-- I pretty much shot my wad when the case was being presented.” I thought “shot my wad” was “dirty,” i.e. a slang term for ejaculation. It was startling to hear Wapner calmly use the phrase as he did. I reacted like those punk teenagers did to “lube job.”
I think the “wad” he was referring to metaphorically was a wad of cash. Sommeone who just lost the last of his cash at the craps table might say, :I just shot my was." The judge was innocent, but the phrase sure sounds dirty, doesn’t it!
Someday I will learn to use “preview”. " Sommeone" is, of course, someone. And the judge shot his wad. . .not his was! :o
Made first ever reply yesterday but didn’t get posted. Maybe this one will.
As Brit Basil Fawlty said, most recently in last night’s rerun (how prophetic I was in the afternoon reply) of the 1975 Fawlty Towers episode about Polly’s old girlfriend, fiance, and parents coming to visit,
“Keep your pecker up”.
This means, of course, in (old) American, “Keep a stiff upper lip” or “be courageous” in adversity.
OK, sorry about the second posting on the Basil Fawlty advice to “keep your pecker up”. I looked 3 times for the first posting and didn’t see it. Probably on a server somewhere.
As for Judge Wapner’s thinking he “shot his wad”, here’s the straight skinny.
It’s non-monetary meaning is to exert one’s last energies or resources at one time.
It’s original meaning, which has been OBE’d (Overcome By Events) is that in olden days, musket loading rifles were loaded (by definition) by placing gunpowder down the barrel, followed by a wad of material (cotton, I think), then a “round”, or bullet. The wad was tamped with a (here’s another one) ramrod.
Then they aimed at the target and fired. The powder exploded and expelled (ejaculated for the readers of this thread) the round and the wad.
When they ran out of bullets, they would sometimes pack the powder and the wad and then “shoot the wad” in a probably vain attempt to keep slaying the enemy.
They could also, as a very last resort, and this was common in the pitcehd battles of the Civil War, to leave the ramrod in the barrel and shoot it.
Grammatical addendum to my last re wad shooting.
I swear (or at least hope) I did not put the apostrophes in the two “Its” as that is a grammatical peeve of mine. If any of you care, “it’s” means only “it is”. “Its”, without the apostrophe, refers to possession. Used incorrectly on a resume could cost you a job offer.
If there are any English major or other pedants out there I do confess to having put in a superfluous “to” and transposed letters in “pitched”. I promise to poofread 
my future postings better.
I was in a class once when the professor refferred to the Monica Lewinsky scandal saying that some had been left with a bad taste in their mouth. No one else seemed to notice while I had to cover my face.
There is a garage here that specializes in oil changes and greasing ball joints etc. The name they chose for their business is In n Out Lube. I wonder, do they use Elbow Grease or Tush Push? :eek:
I put the cherry in her pie hole .
Her uvula was vifibly engorged.
I just bought a huge petcock to drain my fluids.
I like it when you take my dictation with a stilff upper lip.
There is the “pre-dawn vertical insertion” into a theatre of war.
I first met my wife demonstrating to her in chemistry class. When I explained why she should hold on to the mother-liquor, we both cracked up.
In “Tomorrow Never Dies”, I think, James Bond says to Miss Moneypenny on the phone as he comes out from between the sheets with a Danish beauty, “I’m just brushing up on my Danish”. Miss Moneypenny says to him, “James, you always were a cunning linguist.” :o
I saw the porn film where that happened. I’m not kidding. For the TMI conscious:
IIRC, the starlet referred to it as a “butt slurpee.”
:eek: :eek: :eek:
And all I was expecting was innocent schoolgirl fun! I’m scarred for life!!!