Is this common to all nationalities? From experience, I know it’s pretty common in the UK, and I’ve heard it’s also common in The Netherlands. My friends wouldn’t think twice if I called them a “bastard” if they got around me while playing football.
Is it common in the USA? What about African and Asian countries and the rest of Europe?
We sure do in the great land of Oz.
VERY common in here in my neck of the woods. For instance, I might mention how much my friend’s mother enjoyed last night. A similar comment to a stranger would result in bloodshed.
Very common here in the USA – among guys, anyway. For a thorough scholarly treatise, I refer you to Dave Barry’s Guide to Guys (currently being made into a movie, believe it or not).
RR
Yup. Common enough. Of course, as is the case in other bits of the world I’m sure, context is everything, and it is still possible to miscalculate a friend’s receptiveness to a particular insult or to go too far. That said, among friends the worst response I’ve seen is tantamount to, “Not right now, man.”
I’ve seen it work to some extent with men handing an insult to women in such away as to come off complementary (this is an extremely dangerous sport however, and should only be attempted by recognized funny & otherwise respectful guys).
I’ve very rarely witnessed good-natured insults between women that remained good natured for long. When it does work, the women in question are rather guy-like in temperament.
Between males it basically a national sport over here. Anything goes between my friends as we all know we’re not serious. It also helps that the majority are very funny people who can make the most horrible thing funny.
In Ireland it’s called “slagging” people.
“Slagging.” I like that.
Oh, yeah: scrotumhead. Good enough?
RR
Yep, pretty damn common out thisaway (Western Canada) as well. Known as (amongst other things) “chaff” (rhymes with safe) or “chaffing”. It’s also definitely a guy thing, 99% of the time.
“Slagging” here in England as well. Yet to think about it the word “slag” has entirely different connotations. :dubious:
Actually I would have to say that depends on how long you know girls. I know a few that’ll give as good as they get. I think it’s all about making your mark in the group, kinda like a fight for dominance to be the Alpha of the group.Of course being all equals the banter just goes on and on and on…
“Slagging” is not unheard of in Texas, although “ragging” is much more common (e.g. “We ragged his dumb ass for days after he got drunk and made out with his cousin at Mardi Gras!”)
Yes it is, Knothead.
:d
It’s called male bonding.
Spanish-speakers of various stripes certainly do it; I found it to be quite common in Spain, and I had suitemates in the dorms from Ecuador. Latinos, on the whole, are a little less formal in speech than Spaniards, and I swear to God that at least fifty percent of the words they exchanged (climbing to perhaps 80% during the non-infrequent periods of drunkenness) were “maricón” (faggot) or “hijo de puta” (“son of a bitch”, more or less, but much more severe in Spanish. Accusing a stranger’s mother of being a whore would be cause for murder in some places.)
I’ve thought about this topic before. I believe it has to do with showing how much you care about someone. Now, if you are showing a potential mate how much you care about them you get flowers and small gifts and crap. Try giving your buddy flowers. So if you can’t give a buddy flowers, how do you give them attention? The answer is the insults.
Insults are a great way to show attention/affection cause you have to know someone pretty well to insult them effectively. You have to know your buddy was up late the night before, which explains why they’re tired, which is why they came in late, which is why you can harp on them about how late they are coming in. Looking at your wrist watch (or at your wrist to show that you are clocking them), saying, “umm-hmmm!” when they walk by, and then go to complain about how they must think they are sooooo valuable to the company that they can come waltzing in just before lunch!
Another way we show affection/attention to our buddies are practical jokes. It takes a lot of energy to set up and perform a prank. If it’s clever enough, then the mark actually laughs instead of getting all pissed off.
Okay, so now we know that we flip off our friends and ignore our enemy’s. How can we use this to our advantage? Well there are many ways. If you are employed, get on a joking/insulting level with your boss. If you are a manager, and you want to build a team, divide them in two and get them working together against each other. Start giving everyone you know a bad time to see where you stand with them. If they laugh it off, then you can figure they view you as okay. If they give you blank looks and say, “you don’t know me well enought to say things like that.” then you can figure they don’t view you as okay, but they don’t hate you. If they interpret it in the most insulting way as possible, then they really don’t like you.
Ask someone you don’t especially like, but need to get along with, what their plans are for the weekend. On Monday, ask them how it went. Look for inconsistincies in their stories. Like if they say they are planning on going to the beach, but end up going to a park, ask them why they changed their plans. But before they answer, accuse them of not wanting to get sand up their butts. One thing you will find is that people feel compelled to tell you what is going on in their lives. I believe that is how criminals get caught. They may pull off the perfect crime, leaving no evidence, but they tell their buddy how they did it and then the buddy gets busted for something and rolls over to reduce a sentence. So if you do something illegal/unethical, never talk about it!
It may seem Machivalien to spend time talking with/getting to know someone you don’t especially like, but have to get along with - like in a work situation. But I believe that is how you can get ahead, and increase your circle of influence.
So that has been my personal experience.
This is better suited to IMHO. I’ll move it for you.
-xash
General Questions Moderator
In India, it’s quite common among good friends.
However, alluding to a friend’s family member in an insult (e.g. mofo, etc.) is taken personally by many, so you should avoid that, unless you know the person very well and are aware that he/she won’t be offended by it. I guess that latter has to do with the sanctity of family in our culture.
In my neck of the woods, insulting each other is our favorite past time for male and female alike. In my particular group of friends, it’s how you know you’ve been accepted, particularly in my case. It’s been quoted several times of all of us (a rather large group) that once we start insulting you, you know we like you. I tend to think of it as a great point in good sense of humour. As we like to say, if you’re so serious about something you can’t make fun of it, it’s not worth your time of day.
Granted, not all people enjoy this particular brand of bonding, and I do have some friends who have expressed to me that they don’t care for it. I still like them, and we still hang out, but it is a bit of a bugger to be out having drinks and 8 people at the table are biting their tongue every 10 seconds as to not offend the 9th person.
The moral of this story, of course, be friends with anyone you like, but drink with the people who have the same sense of humor.
Now all I’m waiting for is someone to chime in, quote the above, and reply “I’m Insulted!” :eek:
The Horribly foul-mouthed
MeatBeast
We definitely do it in the States. I would venture that anybody who has taken a low-level sociology class or two has read some bland piece about “Doing the Dozens” and insults as a part of black culture. But I guess all do it. Personally, I’ve learned it’s WAY more fun if you happen to be friends with a guy in a wheelchair. I’d never previously considered the comedic possibilities - it’s pure gold!
I’m saying this only in semi-jest. I remember the first time I heard Dan, who is now a good friend of mine, make some crack not being able to walk. It was funny, but more importantly it showed me that he was OK with it- I didn’t have to avoid the subject and censor myself. When someone can make a joke about himself, it shows a certain degree of security. So when you and your friends are trading insults, you’re having fun and demonstrating a sense of their personalities, what’s okay to talk and kid about, etc. Dishing the insults out is creative and funny and (like SandWriter says) shows that you know someone, being on the receiving end is a relaxed way of showing that you’re tough and you can handle it.
There’s definitely a degree of macho-ness at work here, so now I’m wondering: do women do this much? At all?
Yep, we do it all the time. On a good afternoon of drinking, at least 60 percent of the conversation may consist of it. We just called it “giving him shit” , Although “busting his balls” is becomming common as well thanks to the Sapranos. People who can’t handle it are talked behind their back, and not particularly respected.