How you feel about that segment indicates how you’ll feel about the rest of the article. He’s more proactive than polite society has traditionally allowed.
His thesis is two-fold:
[ul]
[li]Those who insult others have completely refused civil discourse.[/li][li]Talk to the audience, not the aggressor.[/li][/ul]He has more points to make than that, but those two are the main thrust of his article; his points about choosing your battles and not taking insults personally are also well worth reading.
I like it. If I’d read that, oh, twenty-five years ago, it would have been a huge help.
My only concern is that on some of his comebacks, he uses language that is not work-appropriate, and could get the speaker in just as much trouble as the out-of-line comments.
How often do people actually get legitmately, openly insulted in professional settings? That certainly seems to be a rare occurrence anywhere I’ve worked.
Happens all the time where I work, but it’s just part of the overall politics. Less insults to the face would only mean more knives in the back.
I get a lot of drive-by insults to my blog, which I ignore. But a “gentleman” is responsible for his words and actions, so once uttered or done, he must not allow them to be distorted by anyone. A cheap shot won’t buy you a second glance, but twist my words and I will twist them back.
Of couse, I always phrase my correction as if the misinterpretation is not malicious but just a misunderstanding by someone slow-witted.
I’m either really dense, or have not been the victim of an insult in the manner suggested.
No comment on which.
But seriously - I’d be shocked if someone openly insulted someone else in a professional setting. The person doing the insulting would I think be seen as acting most unprofessionally.
I completely disagree with his suggestion of coming up with snappy retorts to insults. A person insulting you is channeling aggression to try to get something. First, recognize what they’re trying to get. Deconstruct their intentions, lay it all out on the table, and do what’s in your own best interests. Snappy retorts just raise the tension level and don’t deal with the underlying friction.
Responding to insults pleases the insulter. If I was going to respond at all to an insult in a work environment, it would be something like “Do you have anything productive to contribute?”
This is what adults should do. In the high school verbal fencing I’m more familiar with, what he said is pretty much spot on (although his comebacks really aren’t very impressive–it’s the man on the train who should have written the article). In high school, its all about social hierarchy, and as he said, playing to the audience. Forget deconstructing a dis on its logical merit and intent, you need laughs at the other dude’s expense. I’m not particularly quick witted myself, but watching some real masters go to work is entertainment, through and through.
When the teenager on the train threatened physical violence is when the time for razor wit came to an end and the time to be ready to put your foot up someone’s ass began.
