Is it a good or bad idea generally speaking for two people of very different beliefs to marry (or be in a relationship)?
Example A, on a tv show a while back, there was a couple where the woman was a devoted southern baptist and her fiancée was Jewish. The church was a big part if her and her family’s lifestyle, church Sundays, and midweek Bible studies, etc
Example B, on another show there was a couple where the woman was catholic and the husband Jewish. It seemed to work until their first child was born, when it suddenly became important for both the parents to raise her in their religion, the mom was adamant she had to be baptized and the dad really wanted her not to be, because he wanted her to have a bat
Example C, an American catholic woman meets an Iranian man who is Muslim. Her family of origin is just as catholic as his family is Muslim.
If it is possible, is it still risky? If it can be wildly successful, what factors would make it so? What factors would make it a disaster?
Your thoughts?
My husband is Jewish and I am pagan. We have close family members who are Catholic, Lutheran, and other variations of Christian. We make it work beautifully, if I do say so myself, by accepting everything. We’ve taken our daughter to Synagouge, to Catholic mass, to Pagan Pride Day, etc. We expose her to everything, even things that we don’t have any association with ourselves. When my family wanted her to be baptized we didn’t hesitate to have it done and have a party afterwards just like with her Jewish naming ceremony. We embrace it all and it makes for a very happy family that is full of celebration.
So would you say that it can work if both parties are willing to let go of certain things? In other words, if the Jewish dad in the example above is willing to let go of the idea that their kid can’t be baptized bc it contradicts raising her jewish? It sounds like it has worked for you and him bc your willing to let go of certain things and embrace other things? If its super important to one partner to do or not do something, then they may but heads more?
I think skin color is a bit different than a belief system. How about a militant pro life partner marrying the director of an abortion clinic? Or a zen buddhist pacifist marrying a lieutenant in the army? for those people who hold very strong religious faith, can that blend with an opposing religion, like a christian who preaches Christ was God marrying a Jewish partner who finds this belief offensive? Or a baptist preacher and an atheist, etc etc. It has to do with the success or not of partners with very different beliefs. I’m not saying they cannot go the distance, my question was very open ended, wondering about what factors help this type of relationship either last, or crumble…
I think if a person’s religious beliefs are important to them, especially someone for whom religious beliefs are fundamental to their lives, interfaith marriage is an extremely bad idea. It’s too much of a clash of absolutes when the very thing one person bases their life on their partner doesn’t agree with. On the other hand for people to whom religions is kind of casual or just background noise and they share some other common culture, interfaith marriage probably isn’t a problem.
We don’t think of it as “letting go of stuff” because that feels more like one of us giving permission to the other for something and it really isn’t like that at all. We just embrace everything as a wonderful cultural experience for our family.
Yes embracing things in the partners faith, that was part of what I wrote in my post above, was it entails embracing. I think its actually pretty interesting to learn about and embrace certain aspects of other faiths
I’ve come close to getting married twice. The last time, the girl ended things because I’m an atheist and she was a devout Baptist. I was raised a Baptist, most of my family still is, and I’d have no problem raising kids in the faith - it did me no harm, after all. Where things broke down was her insistence that I never tell any offspring I was an atheist - that the very mention of it was undermining the church. Continued discussion made it clear that she pretty much expected me to become a practicing Baptist, which wasn’t going to happen.
It’s weird what couples still go thru on the issue. My best friend’s family is Catholic and his sister married a Jewish guy; they made the agreement before tying the knot that their sons would be raised Jewish, with no mention of her Catholic background until they were grown, period. All this despite the fact that, afaik, since she’s not Jewish the boys aren’t Jewish unless they officially convert on their own.
Yes, …I’m lost.
Where did he get Jews murdering Jews or blacks murdering blacks? I know I didn’t write that, and I scanned the thread twice and don’t see anyone mentioning about Jews or blacks murdering each other?
Ep brown01
In orthodox and Chasidic Judiasm for example, your correct that the children are not considered Jewish unless the birth mother is, it goes to the mothers bloodline
the rabbi at a reformed temple, said that children of interfaith couples can consider their kids Jews even if the mother is not Jewish but the father is…I suppose there’s variations on it
Based on Tollhouse’s reasoning that “skin color” can’t be compared to a “belief system” that’s what he should believe if he’s being logically consistent.
I suspect that he’ll come up with some way to try and hand wave away the comments and not recognize the intellectual consistency in the arguments.
Nevertheless people who shit their pants at the idea of Christian women marrying Muslim men are no different than the bigots who piss themselves in anger at the thought of white women fucking black men.
I’m pretty sure that the people who are likely to get into an interfaith marriage are exactly the kids of people who can make it worth. And my guess would be that the people who couldn’t handle the compromises of an interfaith marriage probably don’t tend to have them.
