I was joking.
An England batter - stop me if you’ve heard this before - scores rapidly and takes the battle to the Aussies but then, when they’re looking well set - seriously, if it seems at all familiar, just say - premeditates a charge down the track to the spinner and gets stumped.
Andy Zaltzman: 4 stumpings out of 21 wickets lost in the series to date - highest since 1993, second highest since 1934.
Sure, but the fact you could have been serious still means something 
. 20-30 years ago it would have been 100% sarcasm, no doubt about it.
Since then Crawley seriously upped the scoring rate anyway - now 145/1 at tea, off 30 overs. No doubt they’ll be hoping to be in the lead by lunch tomorrow. But a swift collapse seems much more likely. Pope’s shoulder seems to be holding up OK so far.
England turning a great position into as merely very good one. Aus will still think they can get a lead here, and England might continue to gift them one
Stupid, brainless cricket by England this morning. With Australia a spinner down it was almost a desperate move to bowl bouncers with the fielders back. But England chased every shot and collapsed. Even when the spinner was on the tail enders were coming down the pitch to attack him, when they could easily have milked him for runs.
Bowling bouncers is also tiring for the bowlers. If England were still batting now they’d be making hay.
Yeah, they have turned that good position into a poor one by falling repeatedly into the Australian trap. And with Aus now effectively 170/1, it’s a long way back.
Remembering this is just day3 and that AUS are 221 ahead with 8 wickets.
I’d be stunned if Cummins declared from here. I think batting out and giving ENG 450+ to chase on day5 to be the strategy. Generosity would be declaring half way through the afternoon session if 500 in front. If Bazball gets them home, then all hale to them. Try for an outrageous win and fall short then the Ashes are gone and the ENG old school will got to school on them. Factor in that AUS has not called for a second new ball yet.
AUS lead is 300, with Green & Carey at the crease. No declaration now.
ENG have stopped the cart from totally running away. The enemy is time.
Too much time (in the olden days) to consider batting out the draw.
So whether it’s 320, 350, 400 or 450 ENG are going to (have to?) knock them off.
I’m getting the feeling that if we raised an Old Etonians team today and sent them to play the West Indies, it would be a pick-em game.
Bazball or Bumpball?
As per CricViz’s data, in the morning session 4th Day, ENG average bowling length of 9.71m from the batter was the shortest length of any session in Test cricket since those records began in 2006.
England then smashed that record in the afternoon session, bowling an average length of 11.05m from the batter.
Given a cricket pitch is 17.68m between the two popping creases (it is 22yds or 20.12m between the stumps) ENG bowlers averaged delivery travelled only 37.5% of the way to the batter before bouncing. The shortest must have almost hit their own front foot.
Vale “pitch up, invite drive, nick 'em off” strategy.
It did seem like they had only one plan. It also seems like a very boring plan. It works, to the extent that batters have to choose between ducking the bouncer or playing a high risk shot, but it’s also unbelievably dull to watch. Which is fine ish, but for all the “we’re hear to play entertaining cricket win or lose” chat we’ve been hearing so much of.
Anyhow, bowling fast on a good/full length seems to work for Australia.
It’s working in the second innings, but the ‘entire team bowling short’ plan was Australia’s in the first innings.
This could be the reverse of the first test finish. Captain trying to bring it home.
Re: Bairstow dismissal. If my team had done that, I’d be embarrassed.
When I said I’d take another 4 tests like the first one I wasn’t actually serious.
This is great stuff though, and I still back the tactics even if we lose. Both tests are going late into the fifth day with the winner not obvious at all. Australia are the best test team in the world and I can’t see that we’d get any closer to them by returning to old methods.
yep, no doubt it was within the letter of the law but I think all concerned would have preferred for that not to happen that way.
Only 79 needed now for England, nail-biting stuff
And then they all fall over in a heap.
But that Bairstow stumping is going to poison the whole spirit of this Ashes.
If any if the under-10 kids I coach did that in a match, I’d make them apologise to the other team.
On the other hand, that’s under-10s and this is the Ashes.
I did that myself in an U16s game, so I have a lot of sympathy for the perspective … but before let’s not gloss over:
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Bairstow, like virtually all glovemen, has attempted this several times when keeper, but he missed the stumps. (Who knows if the appeal would have been sustained if he’d succeeded, maybe, maybe not)
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Also remember who was involved in this incident:
Muttiah Muralitharan’s amazing run out @ Christchurch v.s NZ - YouTube
Now to complete the story; McCullum did apologise to Murali for that dismissal, ten year later.