I can tell this is heading straight for IMHO.
But to address the OP: principally because of our cultural standards of beauty.
Now don’t mistake this as my personal standard of beauty, but North American males are generally conditioned to prefer skinny blondes and fair-skinned brunettes and even fairer redheads. These are the pinnicles of fashion, and they even creep over into black culture. Look at Destiny’s Child - every one of the three of them have straightened their hair.
Generalization Alert! Black women, as a group, have a much harder time achieving these standards than white women, as a group.
That probably explains the deficit of BF/WM couples more than anything else. I know several BF/WM couples, and in none of them does the woman go very far to look like the white female… in fact, one of them has that new skinny braid thing going, that (mysteriously) I’ve NEVER seen on a white woman, and it’s very sexy. (Another observation, though - none of the wives are overweight… they’re all either stick thin, or very athletic.)
As for other factors that weigh in on the wf/bm side: taboo. There was a Non Sequitor cartoon just the other day, with a couple standing on a curb next to a sign reading “No Chainsaw Juggling” and the man says, “suddenly I feel the urge to juggle chainsaws.”
Black men have been ostracized, harassed, and even lynched for dating white women. Due to simple human nature, this just makes the white woman more attractive to many black men, rather than less.
And there’s the “prize” element. Some black men seek the trophy white woman to inflate their status among their peers.
And of course there’s the legendary stereotype of the, ahem, endowment of black men. I recall that the few reliable studies that exist showed that it’s generally a myth, except that the extreme high end of the distribution was dominated by subjects of African descent.
There are a lot of reasons that seldom occur in isolation, and others that may or may not even be conscious on the part of either person.
As the son of a white woman who remarried a black man, I spent a lot of time in my youth immersed in southern black culture, and to this day I find many black women very attractive physically, even more so today. It just seems that there are very few who meet my standards for education and (err… umm… treading on thin ice here) levelheadedness that aren’t already married.
In general, I think you’re going to notice the WF/BM - BF/WM disparity disappear in the next decade or two, as we continue to integrate our society more and homogenize our cultures.
I should also note that this disparity receives a lot more attention in black culture than it does in white culture. I have encountered a few very vocal black women who are insulted that they have been passed over by individuals who dated or married white women. They often complain that the “best” black men are marrying white women. Years ago I knew of black men who were insulted on a “racial solidarity” level that their “brothers” were marrying white women, but that seems to have pretty much disappeared. I seldom hear anyone white anymore complain about interracial couples, except people who are already racist assholes to begin with.
And if anyone worried about any threats to your available dating pool of white women or black men, don’t sweat it - the proportion of interracial couples to intraracial couples is on the scale of 1000-1 or even more.
And besides, if that person you are attracted to is in turn attracted to someone who is so different from you it makes you jealous or uncomfortable, then perhaps he or she would never have been interested in you in any case, even if there were no races. Let go of it and move on.
