Well, I certainly have! Seems to be the norm among my peer group these days.
Not much I can add that most Board members don’t know about my wife and I, but when I was first in Thailand way back when, I actually had a fellow Caucasian as a girlfriend. Then later on I met my future Thai wife at graduate school in Hawaii. My having lived in Thailand made me gravitate toward the Thai students in in my particular college.
In fact, sadly THE Thai lady who was most responsible for hooking my wife and I up died of breast cancer a few years ago. A lady by the name of Jaa, she had a husband and children waiting back here in Thailand while she went off to study in Hawaii. My future wife was rather shy and kept to herself; she’d been to the US before but never lived there. Jaa was the one who at one school social get-together pushed her into going over and saying hi to this guy who used to live in Thailand.
Is interracial dating still a commentatable event in the US? I mean, it was normal practice in Hawaii even back then, and even in Albuquerque where I used to live. Maybe it would have raised an eyebrow in, say, Hicktown, Nebraska, but is it still that way?
(I did take my future Thai wife to meet my grandmother, who was still living at the time, in rural Arkansas, and you’d have thought she was from Mars from the stares she got. Not unfriendly stares, just like it was the first Asian anyone had ever seen. But everyone seemed more fascinated by her than in the fact of our dating.)
I guess this is not exactly what you’re talking about, but my wife has at various times been mistaken for a Filipina, Japanese, Hawaiian and even Navajo.
Even her fellow Thais have occasionally thought she was a Filipina or Japanese for no other reason than she was with me. I guess because she looks very Chinese, and so since she does not look “Thai” per se (there is an ethnic-Thai look, particularly among the Northeasterners), they sometimes assume I brought here here from somewhere else.
ETA: Another interesting observation: It seems like I am the type of girl that black and Latino guys love… most likely due to my curvaceous, hourglass figure (read: big hips and round butt.) It seems like black guys are much more into curvy girls than white guys are (who seem to prefer the toothpick-thin figure that most of the popular white actresses and celebrities have).
You know, I just experienced this a week or so ago. I, too, am curvy and have been frustrated with middle aged guys looking for “Barbies.” The other day I was walking down the street and this absolutely GORGEOUS black gentleman rode by on his bike. We both did extremely obvious double takes. Got me thinking, it did. In retrospect, I have would have no issues with dating outside my race. Problem is I live in white bread suburbia…
Well, I wouldn’t think so. Even Sven comments that it’s not unusual in California, which is where I am too, so maybe it’s different elsewhere. But it’s extremely common among my acquaintances and family members and doesn’t raise any eyebrows.
If I meet a woman who’s obviously ethnic, I may ask her where her family is from. If I’m interested in her, one important followup question is where she was born. I.e. someone could be of Chinese descent, but if there family has lived here for six generations, we’re going to have a lot more in common than if she was born there and just arrived.
I’m white, and haven’t had a ton of dating experience before my current SO. I’ve had plenty of crushes and some casual encounters with people outside of my skin color, but I just haven’t had the dating experience to have ended up dating anyone outside of my skin color. Outside of my ethnic background would put just about everyone I’ve dated into that category, but they’ve all been Americans of some sort. There are all sorts of wonderfully attractive and alluring people out there of all ethnicities, and if I were still dating, I probably would be dating outside of my own race; it’s just easier to do around here.
Yes! I have experienced this for years and years. It’s just like that song “Baby’s Got Back” by Sir Mix A Lot - “I like big butts and I cannot lie… That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist And a round thing in your face You get sprung…”
I’ve gotta admit, that’s me. I have a skinny waist and big hips and butt, and black guys LOVE my figure. I get so much attention from black guys.
You’re right about white guys wanting “Barbies.” In my experience, white guys in general have an obsession with overly thin stick figures, because that is all they’re used to seeing in popular culture. ALL the popular white actresses and celebrities are toothpicks. However, in black popular culture, the women tend to be more curvaceous.
I’ve dated both inside and outside my race. Culturally I’m more American than Korean, so every time I’ve dated guys who were from a pure Korean upbringing, it’s caused problems.
The only problem with dating white guys is my parents. My dad simply goes into denial, while my mom tries to be understanding but also wants me to be aware that she is making a huge effort that most Korean parents wouldn’t even attempt, and that I should be grateful. I think this is the lone cultural point that my non-Korean boyfriends and I don’t see eye-to-eye on - I may be a twinkie, but “honor your parents” is a Confucian idea I took in with my baby food, and it’s one that isn’t easily shaken off. I still hide the fact that I smoke from my dad.
I wonder how many dopers are xenophiles. The more exotic the woman, the more likely she is to get my attention. That seems to play right into evolutionary goals—combining the most diverse genes possible.
FWIW, the most beautiful woman I ever saw was obviously a mutt. Olive skin that appeared to be Mediterranean. Eye folds that were distinctly Asian. I remember looking at her, in a car repair facility, thinking, ‘This woman’s ancestors came from every corner of the globe.’
Of course, evolution doesn’t care about interpersonal relationships that work…it’s all about babies.
So what sort of odd culture shock did we experience? Let’s see.
My grandparents were immigrants. So were hers.
My parents had high school educations and had risen to comfortable middle-class. So had hers.
I went to parochial schools. So did she.
I grew up in a 3-bedroom house with a 2-car garage in the suburbs. So did she.
I was the first one in my immediate family to graduate from college. So was she.
Hell, I had more in common with her than I did with my sisters.
I pretty much exclusively tend to date outside my own ethnicity now (not that I believe there actually is such a thing). But it’s pretty much just an aesthetic. I tend to find Hispanic guys (and some other ethnicities that are brown but not black) more attractive for whatever reason some men find women with blonde hair more attractive. I don’t find there to be much more issues with the interracial aspect than with the gay aspect lol. I enjoy learning about new cultures and customs and languages and places. My family wouldn’t make it an issue. If anything I’ve found that in my experience the non-white family is going to have more issues than the white family (maybe because I live in the Northeast).
I’m white, auntie em is black (our kid, however, looks just like me: pale and red-headed. So, go Skippy genes, go!), and I’ve dated women with ethnic backgrounds of regular ol’ European, American Indian, Vietnamese, Indian, and Chinese. Auntie Em has dated black, white (other than me) and Chinese.
Me, I just go for great personality and stunning good looks.
My tasted tend to run toward pale weedy hopefully English guys. But I’ve been out with several black guys (if there’s anything almost as sexy as pale English guys, it’s English black guys).
And my ex-SO is half half-Filipino. So I guess I would.
I’m Latina, but have been mistaken for Middle Eastern or Armenian because of my olive skin, curvy figure and rather prominent nose. I’ve had a thing for white guys ever since I was 10 and had a crush on blond, blue-eyed Dwayne in my 5th grade class. However, I’m open to dating, sleeping with and/or marriage to a man of any ethnicity as long as we are compatible. I didn’t date in high school, but had unrequited crushes on whites, Mexican-Americans, and one Filipino, who was my prom date, but not, alas, more than just a friend. I attended a university renowned for the racial/ethnic diversity of its student body, and dated guys of pretty much every ethnicity. In fact, that’s where I met my ex, who is of Polish, German and Irish ancestry. Our kid looks like a mix of both of us, with brown hair, hazel eyes, and her dad’s pale skin - I tell him she looks like a girl version of him, only Latina.
So, yes, I could, and would, with a fox of any color. The question is, would he, could he, with me?
When I was in high school I dated a Jewish guy (I’m real whitebread WASP) and his mother was openly not pleased. She didn’t refuse to talk to me or anything, but her hostility was pretty obvious. It didn’t really bother me, because I could understand how, if your religion was important to you, you’d want your kids to marry someone of the same religion. And c’mon, I was 16… I was not going to elope with her precious baby boy. So it kind of rolled off my back.
Oh, that reminds me, I’ve also slept with a few Jewish guys, but I really REALLY struggle to see them as a distinctive race. They just look like dark haired white people to me (I can’t even tell when people are Jewish unless they make it obvious).
me too, me too! Hispanic culture as well, so I ended up dating who asked. Dating white guys would be the odd thing for me, and just for a change of scenery is what I may try again. (once all the paperwork is through and the husband moves out)
My first serious boyfriend was Colombian. I went to a very diverse high school, so interracial couples were common. In college and grad school, I dated a couple of black guys. I’ve found myself attracted to men of many different ethnicities (black, Asian, Indian, Native American, white).
I haven’t found that different races and the accompanying different upbringings are problematic in a relationship. I’ve had less in common with some of my white dates than with men of a race different than mine. However, I do think it’s easier to make a big deal of the differences in an interracial relationship, because society does.
In my experience, white guys in general have an obsession with overly thin stick figures, because that is all they’re used to seeing in popular culture. ALL the popular white actresses and celebrities are toothpicks. However, in black popular culture, the women tend to be more curvaceous.