Monica consider this. Unless you have firmly decided that you will never marry, dating somebody will eventually lead to marriage … might not be the one you’re with right now, but unless your marriage is arranged or something like that, you’re gonna date your spouse before you marry them.
Many faiths forbid marriage outside of that particular faith. So it makes very good sense to not even bother dating those who you would not marry.
Since you’re not a Christian, this Christian friend of yours really doesn’t have a reason to be uptight that you’re dating non-Christians.
My personal opinion of interfaith marriages: if two people marry outside of their faith (when their faith expressly forbids it), it makes me wonder if their faith means anything to them to begin with.
I’ll start with the easiest first. Since I acknowledge one race – human – interracial dating is pretty much a non-issue as far as I’m concerned.
Interfaith is more difficult. While I am a devout Episcopalian (Christian), none of very my closest friends are, although they are all honorable, moral, decent human beings. Some years ago, I nearly married a man who was a devout Catholic. Since we both took our respective faiths quite seriously and had good reason for staying with them, neither one of us felt we could ask the other to convert out of respect. (The reason the marriage never took place, by the way, was completely unrelated to religion.) There is also a man I know who I will not date again or otherwise socialize with not because he’s a secular humanist (his words), but because he doesn’t understand my refusal to do something I believe is morally wrong, no matter how trivial. I also know of a couple who were different denominations of Christian. When they got married, they converted to a third one. While I appreciate that this was a good compromise for them, I still have a hard time understanding it.
Basically, I’d say if you’re dating someone seriously, you must respect the things that matter to them. I would date an atheist, but not one who considered my faith a sign of weakness. There’s a bit of a shortage of eligible Episcopal men in my neck of the woods, and the one I know of is out for other reasons, so I doubt that one will come walking into my life (although given the way my relationship with God works, one never knows;)). My bottom line is look for shared values and mutual respect. I’ll take a Wiccan saint over an Episcopalian twit any day of the week, and twice on Sundays (2 religions, don’t you know!).
Why is it that so often people who don’t practice religion cannot restrain themselves from insulting it? One of my most important “philosophies” is to view with contempt those who imply that the deeply-held faith of others is merely “mythology” – much like the contempt I feel for those who post for no other reason than to be passive-aggressively insulting.
If you take the approach that one’s religion is a preference along the lines of political party, then what you say makes perfect sense. Especially in this day of non-judgementalism and belief that one religion is just as good as another.
For public policy and getting along with members of the general population, this is fine. Live and let live and all that. But for those who are seriously commited to a specific faith and considering marriage, I think it is a more difficult question. Let’s say, for example, that a person believes that Jesus is THE answer (not just one answer among many). Now, this person may not care at all about how people in general may differ regarding this concept. At this level, it is mainly a philosophical debate (or discussion of “mythology,” according to some).
However, the issue is much more personal when it comes to a relationship that could lead to marriage. If one truly believes that only a person living a life dedicated to Jesus (and not just reading about Him in an academic way) will be rewarded with eventual reconciliation and eternal life with God, how could that person comfortably accept a non-believing spouse who, according to the belief, will not share the eternal reward? I’m not saying it would be impossible for some (maybe the hope of a conversion could be a factor), but surely it would be difficult.
And the question of “what happens when we die” is just the big picture part of this religious belief. The day-to-day differences could be large as well. I like sharing my devotional time with my wife. I like going to church, Bible study, and worship groups together. I like it when she asks me to pray for her for a specific problem she is facing (and vice versa). I like knowing that whatever problems we face, our faith is a strong bond between us. Other people can do whatever they want, but I wouldn’t give this up for anything.