Invent a Disease

Huh, turns out that that is a real term describing a different condition. TIL.

That’s called primary amenorrhea, and it is most definitely a real medical thing, not an invented disease.

That also exists, it’s called hyperalgesia.

It’s reassuring to find that I’m not the only person who can’t invent an imaginary disease because they turn out to be real! :smiley:

Dermograpgherratum: where words scratched into the skin, no matter how softly, cases welts to be raised clearly showing the letters; although they always come up misspelled.

Actually, my wife invented this one…

Googlebetis. If you Google a condition, you, or your kid absolutely has it. Cost ensues.

By the way, I’m single now, Ladies?

Oldmoania - an infestation of elderly relatives.

Smallcox - never mind. It’s nothing, really. And I’ve been told, it doesn’t matter, anyway.

Tsundoku probably covers that. Not that I would have any idea myself :slight_smile:

Halititus. Your breath is so bad it raises painful welts in your mouth.

Also known as Montrealitis, or Corruptitis. IRL there was actually a committee to study corruption and the construction industry in Montreal (it may have been provincial but I don’t recall).

There was this book:

PENALTY BUZZER: brzrzrzrzrzrzrzrzp!

Hyperlexia is an actual condition.

…and… ninja’d

Without meaning to pick on our dear @Broomstick specifically …

Around here we have endemic Scribiapraemisit. The habit of posting replies before reading the rest of the thread. Which leads directly to a bad case of traumatic ninjery / ninjury.

Oh, definitely I have a bad case of it - very nicely put!

Mennengitis - you get a rash from a specific brand of deodorant.

Womenengitis - the same thing, but for women.

Acid Refluxcapacitor - when you get sick of watching Back to the Future.

Xerox syndrome. Your doctor doesn’t really know what’s wrong, so they send you home with a photocopy of info about nutrition and stretching.

Bonocupidity: mental state afflicting healthcare administrators. E.g. “Are you a victim of sex trafficking?” discreetly inserted into your intake forms = a public good. But you’re a 67 year old man and the form is billed at $25 regardless = a fucking gouge.

Here’s a few to start:

Chronic Intrigue Syndrome – compulsion to engage in crafty deeds.

Gooberculosis – accidental inhalation of peanuts.

Buttulism – psychopathic fixation on buttocks.

Ecola Virus – causes unquenchable thirst for Coca Cola.

Hallux Abducto Valgus Funyuns® Deformity – big toe joint shaped like an onion ring.

A few more:

Droopsy – Edematous organs that droop.

Borderline Doperality Disorder – SD members who submit impulsive, unstable, emotionally-charged posts.

Shitzophrenia – idiots who spout unsubstantiated BS with no basis in reality.

Goyagoya Syndrome – people who appear painted by Francisco de Goya.

Type II Diameaties – humans who eat mostly meat

Type I Diameaties – humans who are pure carnivores

Vesuviensis - a large zit in need of popping.

Krakatoa - loss of a toenail after injury.

Leashedmaniasis - parasitic infection among dog walkers.

Electile Dysfunction - implementing voter suppression laws and other measures to overturn elections against the voters’ will.

This one was created back when we were in junior high!

Gapiosis: too much tummy behind a button-down shirt, so the area between buttons gaps open. A very severe case of gapiosis will cause the shirt itself to pop open.

~VOW

Muchiesindahouse Syndrome – compulsion to tell pot smokers they have snacks when they really don’t.

The Trumps – swollen glands, small hands, orange splotches.

Rubesbella – awkward bumpkin behavior prevalent in people who dress poorly.

Toxic Sock Syndrome – complication from unwashed laundry odor resulting in nausea and vomiting.

Congenital Karentinitis – entitled, obnoxious, often racist behavior infecting primarily middle-aged women.

Anal Phishers – pain in the ass internet scammers