My best friend is stepdad to two kids - a 12-year-old boy and a 6-year-old girl. He and his wife also just welcomed a baby boy.
The stepson is a “friend” of mine. Well not a “friend”; he’s an adolescent boy and I’m a middle-aged man. But I’ve known him since before his mom and my friend started dating, through church youth group and such. Also, he’s on the chess team that I coach at his school.
He’s going through a bit of a difficult time right now. There’s been a lot of change in his life in the past few months, what with the marriage, the baby, and a host of other things.
My wife and I would like to take him to Six Flags some time this summer. We figure he would like to get away from the fam for a while, and plus he’s never been to a theme park (and his parents are too broke to take the whole family to a theme park, what with the new baby and all). My wife figures she’ll chill at the water park while the lad and I hit the rides.
Is this weird? Can anyone think of a polite way to broach this with my friend?
i don’t think it’s weird. i thought it was relatively common for friends of the family to take kids out for a fun day, particularly when they’re going through a rough patch. some of my parent’s friends used to take me and my brother out to dinner or to an arcade or something fun when my parents were separating. we always enjoyed it, it was fun to be out with a familiar adult and get out of the house for a bit. i say go for it.
This is not weird in any way. If one of my good friends who knows my kids wanted to take them off for a day, I would think nothing of their intent and welcome it.
Good for you for noticing a child who probably feels pretty left out.
(Bonus points if you offer to take both children.)
I think it’s nice. My daughter was taken to the zoo by a friend of ours when she was little and had a great time. I think your friend will find it a thoughtful gesture.
It’s only creepy if you start doing it really often, or start acting like someone with a crush around the kid. You aren’t a pedophile, so I doubt either will happen.
And if your friend thinks you are a pedophile for asking: what a lousy friend.
The only thing I would think is a little weird is that you don’t invite the 6 year old daughter, too. If your wife is going to be off at the water park, would she be amenable to taking the girl with her? The daughter will probably feel left out if her big brother gets to go to a theme park without her. And if you and brother go to the roller coasters, while she and daughter go to the water park, they will each have some time away from the family and from each other.
Not that you have to take her. But if you can afford it, it would be nice to invite her too.
I’ve thought about that, and the problem is this: My wife will want to spend the whole day just sunning at the wave pool. I don’t see the little girl being into that at all. With a normal woman that wouldn’t be a problem, but my wife has Asperger’s and she knows her limitations. She fears she’d get too frustrated with the little lass wanting to hang out at the kids pool and it would wind up being an unpleasant time for both.
I think it’s fine…I have a 12 y.o. son, and he’d have fun with whomever wanted to take him on rides at Six Flags, that’s for sure! Anyway, I don’t see how this is much different from the Big Brothers-type thing. The one thing I might suggest is that maybe he could invite a friend, too, if that’s an option.
Although you’re not a blood relative, you’re still the crazy uncle that all kids love. It’s your job to take the sprogs off the parents’ hands every now and again.
I think your idea is wonderful, and I think it’s good to give him some distance from all family members, including little sis. IMO, little sis should get some special time with you guys too, doing something she wants to do, without big brother.
I think you should broach the issue exactly like you did here. He’s been through a lot of changes and you just want to give him some buddy time. His stepdad’s your best friend, I’m sure he’ll understand.
I’ve invited the kids out to give the parent a day off, but I took the kids, except once. She had a ten year old son and a 1 year old baby girl. I told her I’d take the son to the zoo but not the baby. She wanted the little girl to go too, but I didn’t feel comfortable with a baby that small.
Yeah I think that’s what we’ll do. There’s a place in St. Louis that you can take little girls to get done up like a princess for a day (my mom has taken my nieces there). Mrs. Homie can do that while I [del]go hit a riverboat casino[/del] explore St. Louis’ artistic and cultural experiences.
Just bring it up in conversation with your friend. I’m sure the boy would love to go to Six Flags and get some adult attention all to himself, and your friend and his wife will probably really appreciate you doing this for their son.
Not weird at all in my book, although I think some paranoid people might think it’s never appropriate for adults to be ‘friends’ with children that aren’t family… I think that’s very sad.
My boyfriend and I are friends with the 12-year-old daughter of his boss - we have been since she was 6 years old. We do things with her all the time, both together and separately. I also know a lot of other kids (through their parents or other members of their family) who I’ve spent one-on-one time with. I love kids and have just as much fun hanging with them as I do with my adult friends.
I think it’s a great idea. Maybe consider presenting it to the 6 yr old, as a day of boy stuff, leave off mentioning the theme park, suggest same to parents. Be sure to bring her back something cool from the park, not something junky or stupid.
Or, you could, tell her you have something in the works for just her, on another day, you’re too old to deal with two kids, not like her parents, etc. Then take her to a girly movie or something one afternoon.
That way, they both get to feel like your special friend, no one will feel left out!
