Irish & European Dopers - Weetabix TV commercial song lyrics

Four years ago my wife and I took a trip to Ireland. We discovered Weetabix, a breakfast cereal, but more importantly saw several Weetabix TV commercials that were knee-slappin’ hilarious.

Specifically, they used a song set to the tune of “I Will Survive” by Gloria Gaynor. One commercial featured a driving instructor in a car with a clueless and dangerous student. The joke being the instructor may not survive the incident, however “As long as I’ve got Weetabix / I know I’ll stay alive…” There were several other variations on that theme – someone in comical danger, but they “will survive” as long as they’ve got their Weetabix.

Anybody know the entire lyrics as they appear in the commercial? (Too bad adcritic.com is no more.)

“First, I was afraid,
I was petrified.
She’s failed ten times already
This is suicide.
I should have used the steering lock,
I would have thrown away the key,
If I’d known for just one second
She’d resit her test with me.
OK, now go.
Watch that car door!
Don’t turn around here.
Ease your foot up off the floor.
Weren’t you the one who said
you couldn’t hear me cry?
Do you think I’d mumble?
Do you think I’d really want to die?
Oh no, not I.
I will survive.
As long as I’ve had Weetabix,
I’ll get them all to drive.
I’ve got four more tests to do
Looks like they haven’t got a clue.
But I’ll survive!”

An even funnier one was their miner / “Theme from Shaft” advert.

I know we’re not supposed to make “thanks” posts, but…

Crusoe, you ROCK!

Do you know the lyrics to the “Shaft” one? Were there any others?

Sorry. That one eludes me. And for some reason, when I search on Google all I get is hardcore Xander-Spike Buffy slash fiction.

Crusoe

Who’s the man with an empty bowl who can shift ten thousand tonnes of coal?

“Shaft!”

can ya dig it? Aye Man!