Irrational hatreds?

I’ll kick this off and state that I do my best to be non-racist; however, I was raised in a very rural area, and words that you would find repellent were spoken around me all the time, and my experience with people – white and black – was that “people” are jerks (I later revised this to “rednecks of any color are mostly jerks”). My boss and several of my co-workers are black and are lots of fun to work with; when filling out a “diversity” survey in my workplace, I discovered that I had to really think about whether there were any “minorities” in management positions. I almost answered “no”! Despite all of this, I have a vestige of my old attitudes that pisses me off to no end.

Every once in a while (maybe once a month), for no good reason, I get a Tourette’s-like compulsion to scream the N-word repeatedly at the top of my lungs in a room while I’m in mixed company. Sometimes I get this terrified feeling that I’m about to actually do it.

So I hate that about my brain.

Oh, IRRATIONAL hatred? Any of those decorative touches on cars or clothing that are there specifically because the wearer has been convinced that it is “cool.” Hearing people evaluate everything they ingest based on its “carbs”. Polo shirts with the collars up. Flip-flops as casual shoes… in a city that’s three hours from the beach, in November. Cars with the stereo turned up so loud that even if I wanted to enjoy the music, the distortion would prevent me from understanding the (shitty) lyrics.

Oh, and 'cause this is the Pit,
I hate people who have no fucking situational awareness.

There’s nothing irrational about my hatred; there’s a perfectly logical and valid reason behind every target of my ire.

I hate monkeys. Monkeys are not cute. They look like deformed hairy-ass midget humans who’ve taken one too many punches to the face. Furthermore, monkeys are not funny. For clarification, let me repeat that in bold: Monkeys are not funny. A crappy joke featuring monkeys is still a crappy joke. A crappy show featuring monkeys is still a crappy show, and loses even more of my respect for attempting to resort to cheap monkey-based laughs. If you require a random noun or animal name to place in a given humorous phrase, I recommend “chicken”. Chickens are funny. (Because I said so, damn it! This is my irrational hatred and I’ll define the terms!) The only exception to this rule is Tribunal Monkey Lords 5000, which you do not know of and therefore cannot laugh at. And even TML5k is only funny because of the theme song (lyrics: “Tribunal Monkey Lords, five THOUsand!”), which is fun to sing, not because it has monkeys in it.

I was going to list more, but thinking about this has caused my hatred of monkeys to override all attempts at conscious thought. Monkeys suck. Stop liking monkeys. Because you should. Because I SAID you should! Ha!

Sigh…don’t worry, I think it’s just the Mountain Dew…

What about jokes involving dead monkeys? Are they funny? Seriously, are they?

What about weasels? I think “weasel” is a funny word.

My irrational hatreds:

-Really Wussy Toilets: Yeah, Al Bundy said it better’n me back in the day, but it holds true… I don’t want my toilet to tinkle-tinkle-tinkle, like a thief in the night trying to quietly escape with his booty, no… I want it to TRUMPET to the heavens to announce the GLORIOUS passing of my glorious passing! Rumble the floors and shake the pipes, for SPOOFE’s feces have left the building!

-Anime-ified Styles: If you see pictures of “trendy” Tokyo, you know the penchant for disgustingly bright colors EVERYONE… lipstick, eyeliner, eyebrows, hair, shirt, (platform) shoes, gloves, rings, panties, might be a bright, nuclear-powered shade of pink. Or green. Or pink and green. Don’t get me wrong, Anime is a nice medium, especially for porn, but Jiminy Jesus, don’t try to emulate it in real life!

-For that matter, Anime: Okay, I lied when I said it’s a nice medium. It’s a big four frames-per-second pile of stinkeroo. Well, the stuff commonly shown on network TV here in the states…

-Crazy New-Agers: Look, if you like the style and the incense, that’s all fine and good… but if you try to pass off a $2 crystal as a magical source of healing that was given to you by your personal unicorn god, Lightning, and offer to teach me how to travel between dimensions and levitate at will, then you’ve breached the borders of “that’s interesting” to the land of the Looney-Tunes.

-I’d mention Fundamentalist Christians, but it’d basically be a rehashing of the New-Agers section… with the Bible replacing the $2 crystal, and Jesus replacing the unicorn god.

-I’m sure I should be able to think of more, but I can’t come up with any at the moment.

Well. Not too extensive of a list.

Not quite a hatred, but I agree with you. If I’m going to watch a wildlife show on TV, monkeys do nothing for me. Silly chattering, completely quadrupedal locomotion, not having achieved even the partially erect stance of the ape. And those baboons–All the attractivness of a hyena on steroids.

But if the program is about chimps, gorillas, or orangutans, then I want to watch.

I hate, loathe, and despise people who use M$ when they mean Microsoft. I hate, loathe and despise people who use the expression windoze when they mean windows. I harbor similar sentiments towards people who say “I will never” do this or that, since experience has taught me that they generally end up doing the very thing they swore they would never do.

I also hate, loathe, and despise people who rant against the elderly citizens of our country, usually without any reason for doing so. It bespeaks a serious lack of maturity, and I hate, loathe, and despise immature people.

I don’t like my ex-wife very much, either.

Damn. Now that is funny. Good one LouisB


Mostly chimps, the ones other people (crazy people) think are cute. They used to plague my nightmares. Usulayy they were torturing my cat. They travel in heards. I hate them.

And chickens.

They’re just creepy (and taste good).

Oh, it seems I have an irration hatred for pets. Just discovered, so I can’t really say why…


And chickens.

**They’re just creepy (and taste good).[/**QUOTE]

I feel the same way about horses!

…mmmmm, horsey…

…dang it

[chanting]Preview is your friend, Preview is your friend, Preview is your friend, Preview is your* friend*…[/chanting]

I hate it when threads that ask some type of question get answered then go on for 3 pages. What the hell is there to talk about?

Similarly I hate it when I do a post (or anyone does a post) and then someone comes along ten mins later with the exact same post. If it’s a simultaneous post I can understand or if it’s new and better information all the power to you. But when someone just paraphrases what was just said DAMNIT shut up!

I hate it when I’m stuck behind someone that’s obviously looking for something. It’s bad enough that they’re going 20 miles an hour in a 30 but then watching them slow down…heads swiveling…speed up to the next block…slow down…animated discussion in the car. This is a small town there’s no excuse for not knowing where you are or where you are going unless you just moved here.

I hate awkward moments in sitcoms. Someone really getting embarrassed or humiliated is not funny to me it just makes me pissed off and want to change the channel.

I hate it when I go over to my friends house and have him bitch about wide screen movies. He’s the type that has to buy every knew type of gadget that comes along and always has to have stereos that are ten times bigger then he’ll ever need. I can’t wait until he gets his first wide screen TV and has to deal with black bars on either side of his screen.

I hate it when people will inexplicably defend bad movies with “it’s a chick flick” or “It’s a popcorn muncher” Kill Bill was a good popcorn muncher. Resident Evil was not. As Good as it Gets is a good chick flick. Anything the Lifetime channel puts out is not.

I hate it when people blame their actions on “god’s will” or blame fate.

I hate it when I don’t thoroughly proof read my own post before posting and then see several typos or misuse “it’s”. I know how to use it damnit why won’t my brain catch it in the first place?

as you can see I have several anger issues.

I would say that most of the things listed thus far are totally rational.

Except the flip flop thing. If I had a choice I would only wear flip flops. Bitch.

Wow…if I thought hard about this, I could spend the rest of the night typing about this very topic. Now I can’t think of anything. Except:

-Radio…in general. Especially the fact that if a city lucks out and gets a decent station they will end up changing formats…because their ratings are shit…because PEOPLE HATE GOOD MUSIC APPARENTLY.

-TV…in general. Especially your network shit. No, I have never seen Friends…no, I don’t fucking care about Friends.

-How come it is damn near impossible to easily find a decent music magazine? Oh how I hate what Rolling Stone and Spin have become. Oh…I really hate how Spin tricks me into buying their crap by putting Morrissey on the cover. Oh, I felt dirty.

-Any large vehicle. If you are not in the NBA you don’t need a fucking military vehicle.


-Sick people. This may be the most irrational thing about me, but I get PISSED when someone sits there for 15 minutes sneezing. STOP IT! I don’t care that you are sick…and suffering or whatever. You are annoying me. Oh, asshole, quit doing the snorting thing…get a fucking tissue.

-Whistling. No, not just because I can’t. That sound makes my blood curdle…yetchy.

-Random humming…singing…or any other random noise. Why do people need to be making some sound at all times?

okay, I will stop for now. i am typing with such fury my arms are cramping up.

Televangelists in general but Jan Crouch and John Hagee in particular; it’s not a distaste or rational disdain for them, I freakin’ hate 'em, and can’t not watch them when I’m channel surfing.
More generically, rich kids. I have a prejudice against them comparable to racism- I know that they can’t help the fact that they’re 18 and driving a BMW convertible to college the three blocks from their downtown loft to the freshmen parking lot, and they’re not all jerks (though most I’ve known are), but I literally have to consciously make myself be civil to them.
I’ve no doubts it’s based on my personal experience, which was more complicated than just having been a [socioeconomically] poor college student. I’m the youngest of three children of a well to do family, but due to an age difference and major financial reversals my brother and sister both went to school in great comfort [cool apartment, new [non luxury] cars, credit cards, etc.] while I went to college literally putting cardboard over the holes in my shoes and eating Krystals when I could afford them, and though my siblings were in a position to help financially they didn’t (they didn’t even offer help to my mother when she sold her wedding band to buy gas for her car). I’m afraid I’ve transferred what I’ve always seen as my now middle-aged siblings’s selfishness and shallowness onto other rich kids.

I also hate stupid idiots that don’t have reading comprehension skills. Like those in threads about irrationa hatreds, and ignorantly point out that it is not rational. Dumbasses like that really cook my fire. l

They “cook my fire”?

I love it.

jots it down in handy notepad

Ah, excellent, a fellow monkey hater. Welcome to the brotherhood. Now come, let us sing the praises of chickens, who are by far the funniest animals ever to walk the Earth.

… :eek:

Here’s a weird one that you probably haven’t heard before:


Since I’ve never actually been near an octopus I don’t think it’s a phobia, so I’ll call it a hatred. Seeing this huge creature contort and fit through an opening the size of the lid of a mayonaisse jar on documentaries just freaked me out. I can’t watch anything with live footage of the beasties.

I hate any animal that shits more than once a day and is incapable of either burying or flushing it’s waste. Dogs. Can’t stand 'em… I used to have sugargliders a few years ago, not only did they crap everywhere but they flung their food all over the place. So I sold 'em.
I recently cared for my neighbors 3 ferrets for about four weeks… they shit and pissed all over their cage…after the third time of cleaning their cage (we cleaned it like every 4 days!) I was ready to drown the little bastards.

I absolutely DESPISE Metallica. The local radio stations play “mandatory Metallica” like 80 times a day… Y’know, assholes, as soon as something becomes “mandatory” it SUCKS!

You cook my fire, now I burning your dog!