I know there are a lot of people out there who hate me for who I am, and who have hated me for a long time. I know I’m not perfect, I know I make a lot of mistakes, and I know I’ve fucked up before. So, I just wanted to say to everyone out there who hates me…
GO FUCK YOURSELF!
As if I give a shit about your petty, whiny ass! You don’t like who I am? Tough shit! Eat me raw, pink boy - your opinion means as much to me as bug guts on a windshield. Don’t like my point of view? Stick it up your ass. Bothers you I suck dick? Try some - you might like it. Think I’m egocentric? I’m glad you finally realized the world actually does revolve around me. Just hate me for general purposes? I’m glad I get under your skin, then, fuckhead. If you’re going to let someone else’s life, opinions or actions bug you that much, then you deserve to be made miserable, you sad, pathetic excuse for a human being, you god-damned mother-fucking son of a bitch bastard asshole!
Esprix, feeling better about himself.
NOTE: This is not meant as a dig at any recent threads in this vein, nor the posters of said threads. Those threads did, however, remind me that there has been more than one poster, including myself, who have posted these threads in the past, and that fact amuses me; ergo, I posted an amusing thread about it. No one is to take this thread personally. (Well, except me, maybe, but that’s only if you’re mean, in which case, FUCK YOU! :D)
You obviously do care if you took the time to tell them about it. If you really didn’t care, then you’d just ignore it and wipe it away, like the bug guts on your windshield. I’ve never seen someone so worked up over a dirty windshield. Actions speak louder than words or something.
[cautiously opens door to Esprix’s bedroom]
[peers around door]
[sees that he is lying on the bed, staring moodily up at the ceiling; evidently the storm is over]
Honey? Sorry you’re so angry. Could you maybe give us a link? And do you want to come downstairs for some lunch? I’ve got your favorite, tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches…
[voice trails off hesitantly]
[from the bed, Esprix grunts noncommittally]
[takes that as a “yes”, goes happily downstairs to open cans and slice Velveeta]
Hmmmm . . . If THAT many people feel that strongly about you, I should probably write a quickie paperback bio of you, with photos cribbed from tabloid newspapers.
“The Uncensored Esprix Story!” will finally make me that big fat bankroll, so I can write the books I WANNA write!
[gleefully rubbing hands together à la Snidely Whiplash]
(By the way, for those who don’t get it, I’m not posting links as they will only serve to embarass and/or offend the authors of the threads I’m spoofing. I would post a link to my own self-depreciating thread from a while ago, but it seems to have either disappeared or been deleted, so go fuck yourself. :D)
Damnit Esprix! I was all set to start a “If you hate me and you know it, clap your hands” thread this a.m., but you beat me to it.
I’m sure there are many on this board who hate me. Why else would my MPSIMS and IMHO threads sink like stones? There is a secret board conspiracy to persecute me! Don’t think I don’t smell it!
Well I didn’t hate you before…but now…but now after this piece of fucking pathetic bullshit. :mad:
I hate you Esprix…no…that word is not strong enough…I loathe you.