Most of my irrational hatreds are animal-related. I also hate when people dress up chimpanzees for TV shows, movies or commercials. It’s so demeaning to the chimps, and besides, for every chimpanzee you see on TV dressed up like a clown, there’s a 99% chance that after they’re done filming, that chimpanzee will get put into a tiny cage and be prodded with needles and electrodes for the rest of its life. Ha. Ha. Ha. On the other hand, I have no problem with chimpanzees actually who like to wear clothes, read magazines, and drink soda. In fact, I find that rather interesting. But it’s their choice to do that, not a ridiculous facade.
I also hate those “talking” dogs they have on Animal Planet where the dog says “HURRRURRAAAUUUURRGH” and there’s a subtitle at the bottom that says “Merry Christmas!”
The one thing I hate more than that is computer generated talking animals. Okay, it was kind of cute once, around the time the movie “Babe” came out, but it hasn’t been done well since the movie “Animal Farm.” The computer generated talking animal industry has now been used exclusively for annoying commercial jingles. ARGH!
CGI talking babies are even worse. I hope every copy of the movie “Baby Geniuses 2” gets put on a spaceship and hurled into the sun, never to be seen again.
While I’m at it, that reminds me of another irrational hatred I have: I freaking hate dog shows. I hate how the ugliest dogs always win. I hate how they seem to “dehumanize” the dogs (for lack of a better term) and judge them as inanimate objects. I think it’s ridiculous that my $15 animal shelter cat is a nicer, cleaner, and more friendly pet than my friend’s $2,000 show dog. And, you know, I can’t help but feel that giving people awards based on their skills at selective breeding sounds a little…well, “Nazi-esque,” if that’s a word. Apologies to anyone reading this who’s really enthusiastic about dog shows; maybe I just don’t get it. But for as long as I can remember, I’ve always hated dog shows.