“Puppy Love” by Donny Osmond.
The 70’s abounded with crap songs–how about “Chevy Van,” “Wildfire” and gotta go back just a bit further to include “Honey.” Nope, I will not find out who did these songs, although I’m pretty sure Bobby Goldsboro is responsible for the last one.
And I like “Crystal Blue Persuasion” because it’s great to sing–even though there’s a pervasive rumor that the song is about Tommy James’ flirtation with the Jehovah’s Witnesses. That oughta kill it for me, but I just like the song. So pbbllthh! 
Maybe I’m different, but I would listen to a CD that had most of these songs. In fact, most of them are on my MP3 player. With the exception of “Seasons in the Sun.” I have to second the nomination of that one as one of the worst songs in all existence.
Playground in my Mind, Clint Holmes. If you’ve never heard it, just look at the freakin’ title! That’s a good indicator of the suck level I’m talking about here.
My favorite cheese line from that song: “My name is Michael, I got a nickel, I got a nickel all shiny and new. I’m gonna buy me all sorts of candy, that’s what I’m gonna do!”
Pretty much every UK charity single ever released, ever.
:eek: Nooooooooooes! It is a wonderful song!
Deep Blue Something: Breakfast At Tiffany’s
“Sylvia’s Mother” by Dr. Hook
The gold standard for complete tripe is, for me, “Green Tamborine” by the Lemon Pipers.
For songs not on the rock charts, I’d have to say “Blame It on the Bossa Nova” by Edie Gorme is about as lame as they come, edging out “The Girl from Ipanema” by a nose.
Worst cover version of a song has got to be Blood, Sweat and Tears’ rendition of “Sympathy for the Devil.” By virtue of output, David Clayton Thomas edges out Bobby Goldsboro as the worst purveyor of dreck ever to be heard on the airwaves.
There’s an awful lot of bad stuff out there, but these just make my skin crawl.
I’m telling you anyway - “Charlene”.
The worst part about this song, and it’s the song I always like to mention in these threadsso it’s not like I like everything else about it, is when she shares that she’s seen things “a woman ain’t s’posed to see.” I mean, REALLY, would it kill Charlene to say she’s seen things “no one should ever see”.
Of course all of the crap lyrics are accompanied by really catchy tunes, otherwise they wouldn’t have been played.
And the operator says 40 more cents for the
next
three
minutes
AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
However, any song by ‘Cher’, not with Sonny but just her, is, in fact, a crime against humanity.
No, the worst part about that song is that there are lyrics for a male singer. I saw them once on a piece of sheet music for this song. They are gut-wrenchingly awful. I’ve never heard them recorded, but, according to someone on this Board, such recordings have been made and do exist. Proof positive of the existence of the Devil, who must use this as background music in Hell’s Waiting Room.
Oh my. :eek:
No collection of bad songs would be complete without A Horse With No Name
No, the waiting room music in Hell is a middle school band class rendition of the Imperial March. Actually, it’s just the first 16 bars or so … over and over and over and over.
Please don’t ask me how I know this.
Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Close My Eyes” and Bon Jovi’s “Bad Medicine” (“Your love is like BAAAAD medicine, BAAAAD medicine, it’s what I need, whoawhoawhoa…”)
You’ve all mentioned most of mine so far, but here are a few more:
“Watching Scotty Grow”
“Cherish”
“Girl (You’ll Be a Woman Soon)”
“Yummy Yummy Yummy (I’ve Got Love in My Tummy)”
“Sugar Shack”
“The Girl is Mine”
Ugh.
“Butterfly Kisses” (Bob Carlisle?) is the worst song ever played on mainstream (non-country) radio.